Oh My God - we're all going to die!

[Catnao]

Just felt like this after reading the middle age thread. Are you scared? Cos I am.

I used to be scared of dying when I was younger (not old now, nearly 39) and my dad put it very well..

"We have 2 guarantees in this life, we will be born and we will die, anything that happens in between the 2 is a bonus"

Yes, we are all going to die, could be today if our lucks up, could be in 50 years time. It will happen.

I'm terrified of it! I'm scared of me dying, I'm scared of OH dying, I'm scared of my parents dying I'm scared of my children dying, I'm scared of my friends dying, I'm scared of my friends dying. It's going to happen. I try to tell myself it's not going to all happen at once but it still worries me.

I'm not scared of Celebrities dying though.....?

I'm terrified of dying. But nearly everyone I have ever known when they get really old - 90's - has said they are ready to die!

The only things that worry me about popping my clogs/closing my account/falling off the perch are:

a) leaving DS with no mum, that makes water spurt out of my eyes when I think of it

and

b) That I have done fuck all of importance in my time. I think about what the priest will say about me in my eulogy. "Well, twatkins was tremendous at being a cunt on the internets as all of you close to her will know. And she did a terrific chillic con carne"

WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

I used to be scared of dying when I was a child, less so as I get older.

I also had cervical cancer op, had to face that 'oh god, I might die from this' thing. I wasn't scared of the process of dying as such though, just the horrific thought of leaving my ds's and not seeing them grow.

I've seen dh's parents lose the fight to cancer in recent years and in both cases I think it's fair to say death was a release.

I think the thing that having cancer has taught me is to make the most of life, you have no idea what is around the corner.

I have a bit of a different opinion than some, influenced by working in palliative care. I hope that my children are adults when i die but do not worry about leaving them. I have set them up with the skills to live a productive life.
I think that listening to eulogys give a sense of perspective (I go to patients funerals). How many priests talk about how clean the deceased persons house was?, what age they were when they gave birth?, or how they never got fat?, it can remind us about what matters.

Wise words, Birds :)

Thanks for posting this OP. I think about it all the time. Literally all the time. From the moment I get up in the morning. Whenever I get in the car I wonder if I will crash. Wonder if my body will just stop working and that will be it. It's very very unhealthy, and stopping me from really engaging with life. The other thing is I notice that in our society people rarely talk about it. Like denial of the inevitability. I sort of feel other people are weird for not thinking about it. Become an obsession since having the kids. I'm not depressed, just hyper conscious of the transience of it all. Makes me wonder what is the poiint of making plans etc when it could all be gone tomorrow.

Well I'm quite sure that I will die young(ish) and I'm not afraid of it. It makes me that I probably won't get to see my children have their own children, but mostly I just think of all the things I want to do first and I have a good stab at them, because wasting my life is much scarier than dying.

Applemartini, it sounds like you have a form on anxiety. Do you think talking to your GP might help? It's a recognised condition to obsess over death. There's stuff they can do to help.

When my FIL died he said "Oh I think I am going to faint" and then he was gone.

It seemed so simple, nothing to be scared of.

Hello Marmalade watkins, thank you! The GP sent me for some CBT which helped for a bit. But back now to the morbid thinking! I am such fun to be around! Think I could be stuck with it....

annapolly had your FIL been ill beforehand?

We are all going to die [but not just yet we hope]
"There are only two certainties - death and taxes "- this is a famous quote by [I forget who said it - I'm sure someone on MN will tell me]
We don't get to choose when and how we die so there is not much point worrying about it
I look on it as going on a trip - you prepare [make a will], pack the right stuff, buy the tickets [sort out funeral arrangements] etc and then just hope for a good trip.
But you hope you don't go on the trip just yet 'cos it's only a one-way ticket.
That's my philosophy. It's a lovely spring day so let's make the most of the life we have ....

someone on another forum kept her children home from school and was literally terrified that someone bad was going to happen when they turned on that collider thingy a few years ago.

Now, to me, be as daft as you like but dont put your fears onto your kids, they have enough to deal with

I am currently in a CBT programme to help with morbid thinking and health anxiety. These feelings are a reasonably recent development, all triggered by my dad's death at the end of 2009. My mum died 10 years ago but that didn't tip me over the edge at all. Losing both parents and turning 40 has left me with the powerful feeling that it's my turn next.

I am not scared of dying but I am scared of dying slowly and painfully (like my mum who had stomach cancer). I try not to let it filter into day to day life but I would love to be able to shake the recurring fear of chronic illness, decrepitude and a painful end. It's always there.

Anybody got any tips?

ah dying will be the last thing I do

I laugh in the face of death

I thought it was just a fun thread-you don't have to think of age. Dying doesn't bother me-it happens to everyone. I am frightened of dying too early or the method, but not the actual dying. All the really old people that I know hate really old age and want to die so i don't think it is a problem by then. Live life to the full and forget about it.

Think of it as the next great adventure!

Someone wise once said to me "death is not a threat. It is a promise".

Made me think about it entirely differently.

unless you don't believe in life after death.

The saying is aimed at everyone

My 4 year old ds has recently found out about death. Periodically he says "Mummy I don't want to die" and I'm not sure what to say about that, apart from the usual blah blah palliatives.

I think I'm ok with the idea (I didn't used to be). But then I don't think it'd likely to be imminent. Having ds has made it feel easier somehow - like life does go on.

Funnily enough my 93 yr old grandmother is not ok about death and I find that very, very sad. I would hope to have made peace with the idea by her age. She's really very afraid and her social worker says it's not at all uncommon

DS1 got a bit preoccupied with dying about the same age suzikettles, it was very hard to deal with him sobbing at the idea I would die one day, especially as it came only a year or so after I had cancer

They get through it though, he doesn't think like that anymore. He's 8 now and much more pragmatic about the fact mummy and daddy will (hopefully) go before him!

I had lots of morbid thoughts the year after turning 40. I had a health scare, my mum got breast cancer, my uncle died, and my Dad was diagnosed with leukaemia, all within 2 years. It rocked me a bit.

Back on track now, looking forward to the future, but it took me about 18 months to stop thinking about my own mortality.