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Original poster

What was the most important thing about your wedding day,and what does marriage mean to you ?

52 replies

goingtothechapel · 23/03/2011 21:00

I'm just curious because these two things mean alot to me,and I want to hear your opionions?,before I say I do?.

OP posts:
Reality · 23/03/2011 21:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

batsintheroof · 23/03/2011 21:04

for me

talking to all my friends i hadn't see for ages and catching up (maybe not what you expected!?)

Marriage means teamwork, mutual respect, lots of cuddles

Happymm · 23/03/2011 21:04

Am with you there reality :)

CarGirl · 23/03/2011 21:04

That we had who we wanted there, hmm marriage it's a committment of us both putting each other first - in a positive way!

Flojo1979 · 23/03/2011 21:05

Piece of paper
and more hassle when u split...

zikes · 23/03/2011 21:06

The commitment in front of our families. A bit of a knees-up with everyone afterwards Grin.

Marriage: accepting each other, compromise, a laugh, best friend & good sex combined.

Original poster
goingtothechapel · 23/03/2011 21:06

Reality you have said it all, and with a tear in my eyeGrin.

OP posts:
Tommy · 23/03/2011 21:07
  1. saying our vows to each other (we learned them by heart) and right at that moment I couldn't have cared less if there was anyone else there or not - it was just us Smile
  1. teamwork and living out aforesaid vows
fluffles · 23/03/2011 21:11

we split our wedding, we had:

part 1: our vows, very private to us, just our parents there, just for us, very important to us but between the two of us

part 2: party for everybody we love and who loves us, very wonderful joining of friends and family, celebration of friendship and family and love.. very important

this was just last year and i don't regret a second of it.

marriage means to me that me and DH are a team, for life, we've chosen each other and found each other and make each other better people and enhance each others lives in every way.

ShinyMoonInAPurpleSky · 23/03/2011 21:12

Getting it over and done with and being able to go home!

It sounds horrible but DH and I just wanted us and both our mums there, but it turned into a big thing with dresses and flowers and a meal and more family members than I wished to see in one place and then there came the arguments that come with having so many family members in one place which was all my fault of course.

Neither of us could wait until it we could close the door and enjoy the rest of our day!

Shakirasma · 23/03/2011 21:12

Marriage is much more than a piece of paper. It may be a hassle when you split, but that is nothing compared to the hassle if one half of an unmarried couple dies without a will.

Most important things for the actual day were the guests and the vows.

Flojo1979 · 23/03/2011 21:20

Not if u r self sufficiant it isnt.

bubblecoral · 23/03/2011 21:21

The best thing about the wedding, and by that I mean the big celebration, was having everyone we love and care about all together in one room, and knowing that every one of them was there for us and was wishing us well. We probably won't have all those same separate groups of people all together again until they are at our funerals!

The best wedding bit that was about us was the first dance, which I was surprised about because I was dreading it and only did it out of tradition. But it was lovely, our special moment when all the nerves had gone and we could just stop and be together and take it all in.

Marriage to us is about sharing life. Sharing all the good things and the bad, fun times and crap times, we do it together. And being able to share the best and worst parts of ourselves and being able to trust that we will still love and respect the other one no matter what.

Flojo1979 · 23/03/2011 21:22

And no i've not mistaken this for the feminist thread!! Just a realist and at end of day - u get a huge bill; a bit of bling and a piece of paper - more than u had the day before.

Portofino · 23/03/2011 21:24

We had 2 witnesses and dd (18 months). I sobbed all the way through. I was over emotional because even though we had a child, I felt that i was really committing to a life with dh and I was just so happy about that. I really meant the words I was saying. I didn't need a big frock or a party.

SardineQueen · 23/03/2011 21:26
  1. The ceremony esp. vows. It was wonderful. I don't really like being the centre of attention and nor does DH but for both of us it felt like just the two of us and it was such an amazing feeling to be making those promises
  1. Love, commitment, caring, sharing, looking out for each other, treating each other well, looking forward to the rest of our lives together - pottering around the garden when we're old, that sort of thing.

Hope I haven't made you too much!

Original poster
goingtothechapel · 23/03/2011 21:28

My situation is this we have two children,I have a family who are never there for me except my Dad who is getting on in life and I love dearly,I looked at the list and I will be honest some I the guests to which we were going to have the family and friends some I have not been in touch with for a year or so.

My partners family are loving and caring and would love to be involved ,Mil would do anything for me and loves me like a daughter but if I chose them over my family it would be a sad situation,which I could never do to my parents although the above.

So I explained to Patners family about both being there ,and could not choose them over family ,so if we had neither they said its about you and dp and your family.

My other option was to ask one other close friends who are very close to us to come with us as two families ,to say we do and have a great holiday whilst we are there ,what would you do because I feel giulty and sad Im put in this postion and thats why im asking what it all means to you?.

OP posts:
Morloth · 23/03/2011 21:30

We didn't have a huge bill. Was done on the cheap by my goodness it was good.

One thing I remember about the wedding day was the humungous bunch of flowers DH sent me that morning, just to say 'good morning and I love you' and just how fucking awesome the sex was (actually in hindsight we have gotten better, but given we hadn't slept together before it was amazing Grin).

Now? Well the sex is better, but the main thing marriage means to me is that no matter what, no matter how irritated we get, no matter where we are, no matter what is happening I can rely on him (and vice versa). He will not let me down, he will be there at 3am in the hospital and would do anything to keep me and the DC's safe.

If I didn't believe that, then I wouldn't be married to him. It is that simple for me. Better to have no man than an unreliable one IMO.

Ragwort · 23/03/2011 21:32

The best bit was driving away to our honeymoon - a lovely surprise B & B at our favourite restaurant (which we had moved away from) which DH had secretly arranged - never done anything as romantic since Grin. I only wanted a very, very small ceremony (three guests!) and that was what we had.

The best thing about marriage ................. Hmm ... not really sure but must be doing something right as its coming up for 25 years Grin. Tolerance I assume.

redandyellowandpinkandgreen · 23/03/2011 21:32

The most important thing was having everyone there that we wanted to be there, we were limited on numbers because of the cost but I still felt everyone important was there.

I'm not sure it means anything massive, it's hard to put in to words. I wanted to be married before I had our baby, more for security than anything. We had already been together a long time and were committed but I want that extra security. I suppose it wasn't a romantic commitment to me, more practical. It hasn't changed what we already had in our relationship.

toeragsnotriches · 23/03/2011 21:38

We'd been together for 12 years before getting married and had known each other for 20. We did the ceremony for our family - DH's mum was in the middle of breast cancer, with not a good prognosis and my gran who brought me up was getting very elderly. So were his grandparents who mean a lot to us both.

We just had family. We walked in together - I didn't want anyone 'giving me away' and we all laughed all the way through the ceremony. It was ace. He spoke, I spoke (then blubbed) and we all went to the pub that night.

I missed my dad so so much.

Marriage now seems more like a safety net for the kids than anything else. We love each other, and always will, but being together is still a choice. We've worked hard at our relationship and come through bad times and good but the fact we're married doesn't change how we felt or made our bond any more permanent. Having children did that.

FourFortyFour · 23/03/2011 21:40

My most important thing was that DH turned up.

Marriage to me means enjoying all the good times, managing the bad times, being each other's best friend, support and lover and sticking to our vows.

IDontThinkSoDoYOU · 23/03/2011 21:40

The most important thing for me that day was that we actually got married! I just wanted to be his wife and I wanted him to be my husband. I wanted us to always be together and to remember our vows.

Marriage to me means that there is always someone in your corner, someone to trust, someone to feel safe with and someone who loves you because you are you.

:)

GreenEyesandHam · 23/03/2011 21:42

Ours was a small, intimate, non fussy occasion- close family and friends. Even so I was nervous as hell in the lead up to it. I never thought I'd ever get married, I'd never considered it to be important (to me), until one day, I just realised, well actually, I really really wanted to be married to this man.

I woke up on the day feeling fantastic, and everything seemed to go 'just right'.

For me, making our vows in front of our loved ones was us saying 'We're in this together for the long haul'.

I feel happy whenever I remember it.

I LOVE being married. I LOVE being a 'wife'. I LOVE saying 'my husband'. I love seeing his wedding band on his finger when we're out and stuff. I love looking down and seeing my wedding band. It makes me feel secure and safe, and very very loved.

I sound deranged :o

spiralqueen · 23/03/2011 22:09

Bringing so many people together and seeing how happy they were to be seeing each other again was the best bit. We didn't have hen/stag dos, just said we would be in the pub the night before if people wanted to have a drink when they arrived (most guests were travelling 3 hours + to get there). Watching as everyone arrived (friends and family) and greeted each other was great. There were loads of family who aren't able to see much of each other due to distance, all my friends from college (almost 25 yrs after graduation), old friends of my parents who had been part of my childhood and friends of my sister's who hadn't seen her for ages (she lives abroad).

Marriage is all about building a life together with someone who is always on your side, who knows you inside out and still loves you.

The wedding is the least important bit of the marriage in my book. I worry for the future of relationships where the entire focus is on the big wedding with all the attention on the bride (and occasionally the groom) and what theme is etc, etc.