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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not have any sort of big games console?

46 replies

bonkers20 · 22/03/2011 21:48

DS is nearly 12. We have never had a large games console. He has a GBA and I have a DS Lite. He plays games on the computer.
He would desperately like an Xbox or Wii or Play Station but 1) we really don't have the room (2 bed house, 4 people), 2) the money - well we do, but we have chosen not to spend it on a games console and the games 3) we just don't want the battles of him wanting to spend too much free time playing computer games.

DH is quite against games consoles. We disagree on this somewhat. He never had them as a child. My family did and I don't think it did my any harm.

DS tells me that his peers ask each other which games console they have, not whether they have one at all. Apparently it's unheard of for someone his age not to have one. Is this true?

OP posts:

AnnoyingOrange · 22/03/2011 21:51

yes

troisgarcons · 22/03/2011 21:52

I would say yes, it's pretty much against the norm not to have a console.

However I would applaud you in not having one. If you heard the filth that eminates out of the online game - even from young (primary ) mouths you would chuck it out of the window. Even with an older child, you cannot legislate for their peers younger siblings creating an account and it's totally vile.

hissymissy · 22/03/2011 22:01

yanbu. It is up to you and DH to decide. I wish more parents would put their foot down, then there would be less pressure on those of us who feel we have to spend money we don't have on overpriced crap!!

We are the only family on our street (all housing association and all low income jobs/benefits) that doesn't have one, and I am trying desperately to save up for christmas. I don't know how some people do it, I really don't!

squeakytoy · 22/03/2011 22:03

We have a Wii and its great fun. It has games that all the family can play at once, so you dont get one person hogging it all the time. It is also active, so you are not sitting getting DVT while staring at a screen.

You can pick up a secondhand one reasonably cheaply now, and buy secondhand games too.

PaisleyLeaf · 22/03/2011 22:08

I don't know. We don't have one, or any intention of ever getting one. But my DD is 6, so no pressure from her peers.

maighdlin · 22/03/2011 22:10

i really hope you don't get him one. its your choice, but i hate them and hate seeing kids play on them, especially if its a nice day. your DS should be freeing his imagination, not staring at a screen all day. but thats just my opinion.

DaphneHeartsFred · 22/03/2011 22:15

Not all children with access to consoles spend loads of time playing on them. DS loves the Wii, but still prefers to be outside that's an option.

DaphneHeartsFred · 22/03/2011 22:16

if that's an option.

squeakytoy · 22/03/2011 22:16

A wii is great for getting some exercise when it is crappy weather outside.

usualsuspect · 22/03/2011 22:19

Just get him one

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 22/03/2011 22:20

I don't have one for all the same reasons. Mind you, my DS is only 4 so think I've got a bit of time yet. He can make do with his Leapster for a good while longer.

I don't even know what a GBA is.

squeakytoy · 22/03/2011 22:25

My granddaughter is 5 and loves playing her Peppa Pig Wii Game. She is quite good at the hoola hoop too, and the dancing games. The Wii teaches good balance skills, as well as being educational IF you pick the right games.

FilthyRichAndCatflap · 22/03/2011 23:03

Two sons, 7 and 9, no DS, no Wii, no PS3, no Sky/Virgin tv packages. No problem with money, space, etc, we just dont think they're necessary. And like you, dont want to deal with the meltdowns when told to turn it off and so on. They play certain games on the PC (under supervision, in the family room) and have plenty of imagination for playing schools, football, junk modelling.

Personally I prefer to devise other ways of educating my kids outside of school rather than rely on the 'educational' aspects of the Wii/DS, yes it takes a bit more thought and input but thats just the way our family operates. We are hoping that we can stave off the need for these toys until such time that they can buy them for themselves, or decide that they arent all that great. TBH they never ask for them, just occasionally will say that so-and-so has one and wouldnt it be great if we did too...but they are totally cool about why we dont and actually dont care all that much.

LoveLeonardCohen · 22/03/2011 23:05

YANBU....I don't know what these things are...well i have heard of a Wii but have no intention of ever getting any of this stuff

Dancergirl · 22/03/2011 23:15

YANBU

Don't people play board games any more as a family.....? We do.

squeakytoy - walking on a wall outside is great for teaching balance!

blueemerald · 22/03/2011 23:28

I would at least think seriously about getting one in case of "forbidden fruit" syndrome. By banning these consoles you could make them far more tempting/exciting. He will be going to his friends house and playing them there (where you have little/no control over which games he plays or how long for- better the devil you know) or if you wait a few years and then get one (or he buys his own) he will be overwhelmed with the novelty, combine that with being a teenager and it could equal hours and hours of gameplay/battles over turning it off.

My brothers and I grew up with a few games consoles and used to play together, never for more than an hour because we were used to them and looked at them the same as our other toys/games.

I would have a serious discussion about the guidelines you expect him to stick too before any purchase and wherever possible play the games with him.

lockets · 22/03/2011 23:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IloveJudgeJudy · 23/03/2011 00:27

It is true that it's unheard of for someone of his age not to have one. It is also true that his peers will be asking what kind of console he has, not whether he has one at all. They will be discussing what games they play on which console and all the advantages/disadvantages of each particular model. They will be discussing how far along in the games they are and whether they can give each other shortcuts.

I have two DSs. The older one really enjoys gaming and bought himself an Xbox about two years ago. We had already been given a PS1 years previously and Father Christmas bought the family a PS2 a few years ago.

My younger son has now bought himself a PS3 so in this house we have all bases covered. The Wii is not really a console that boys of 12 are that keen on. They may have been when they were younger, but it seems that Xbox or PS are the ones to have now. Wii are seen as a bit "girly" and tame.

As I understand it, Xbox is for gamers and PS3 is for other stuff, watching iplayer, watching photos, playing DVDs.

Our consoles are attached to the TV in the living room. This is so that gaming does not take over anyone's life. If the family want to watch TV in the evening, the consoles have to go off. If there is a rugby game to watch, eg, consoles have to go off. That way, we have much more control over how much gaming is done.

BluddyMoFo · 23/03/2011 00:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

coinoperatedgirl · 23/03/2011 00:54

Don't really get the room thing, they are not exactly large. Your Dp probably didn't have a laptop as a child, times move on.

I would love my dd to be out playing skips, elastics, kerby and twoey balls. Off out on adventures with her friends, sadly it's not going to happen until she is a lot older, or supervised within an inch of her life. Sadly by the time she is allowed out unsupervised (as dictated by the societal norms in this area) she will be into boys and cider .

I can't say that YANBU, they are probably a bad thing on the whole for the development of mankind, however, unless your child is let off the leash to roam and jump off unsuitable things YABU, you are denying him at both ends of the scale .

darleneconnor · 23/03/2011 01:01

YADNBU

Please dont get one!

I'm determined not to get DS one.

He knows to not even bother asking for one anymore.

I allow him to play on other people's but having one at home would be the mental equivalent of eating in McDonalds every day. Brain rot.

His future girlfriends will be very grateful to you.

LittleMissHissyFit · 23/03/2011 01:02

No intention of getting one here.

stream · 23/03/2011 01:06

YABU.

I find it hard to understand your dh's position. Presumably he had things as a child that his dad didn't?

Ryoko · 23/03/2011 01:10

To each there own I work in the industry and own every machine, I think you are being very unreasonable to give him a GBA while you get a DS but I think the GBA/DS has the best games anyway.

Your husband is a dino, back in the day TV was evil, cars where evil etc, it's just a form of entertainment same as any other.

troisgarcons you can't hold the console/company responsible for the fuckwits who use the service, thats whats kids are like, it's not the swearing that pisses me off but the racist and sexist insults you get from mainly the US users. still it makes it all the more satisfying when you shoot the bastards in the head.

I'd recommend a 360 BTW.

madhattershouse · 23/03/2011 01:24

I never had consoles as a child..they were not invented then..(old at 38!!). My household sports a wii, 3 ds's and as a prezzie for 11yo a xbox360. Thems the times....I am just proud that I am the only one in the house that can set all these up (and the many cables for T.V, scarts..etc..) Would hate to be a tech Dinosaur. Kids need to use these gadgets, they are the future and they need to be able to use them. Research also shows that gamers have better reaction times as they need to utilise these areas of the brain to win the games. Progress cannot be stopped! As long as children are not sat at them 24/7 they have a real place in modern life. BTW facebook and your media player are available via a xbox so they can also use them for other reasons, contact with friends etc.

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