to not have any sort of big games console?

[bonkers20]

DS is nearly 12. We have never had a large games console. He has a GBA and I have a DS Lite. He plays games on the computer.
He would desperately like an Xbox or Wii or Play Station but 1) we really don't have the room (2 bed house, 4 people), 2) the money - well we do, but we have chosen not to spend it on a games console and the games 3) we just don't want the battles of him wanting to spend too much free time playing computer games.

DH is quite against games consoles. We disagree on this somewhat. He never had them as a child. My family did and I don't think it did my any harm.

DS tells me that his peers ask each other which games console they have, not whether they have one at all. Apparently it's unheard of for someone his age not to have one. Is this true?

I work in the industry too but we don't currently have any consoles. Obviously most of my colleagues do and they're all intelligent, educated, technically-minded people with active lives, not vegetables.

DH had a PS2 and Xbox but gave them both away because he stopped playing them. However, when DS is older we're sure to get one and we'll all pay them together. I used to love a dance game and Sing Star . I would rather have one in the house and know something about them than send my DS to play at someone else's and remain ignorant.

I agree with madhattershouse, they are the future and they do have a place in modern life. (Although they've been around longer than you think - I remember playing tennis on my cousins' Atari, I'm 42.)

Just educate yourselves about them so you're confident you're making the right choices for your children's ages and all will be fine.

I was in a similar position to you a couple of years ago, with DS1 then just 13 and DS2 9. Took DS1 and 3 friends in car to the cinema, and for the entire journey the whole conversation focussed around which games console each had at home. DS1 had nothing so was effectively ruled out of the conversation.

I am not normally a follower of trends such as this, but felt that as we were new to the area (had moved in 18 months previously) and DS1 was struggling friends wise, DH and I were not helping the situation by not having any of these gadgets. So we bought DS1 and DS2 a PS3 for Christmas. Both were over the moon, DS1 more so. They have had 1 or 2 games for Christmas, and chosen to spend Birthday/Christmas money on games too. They play it after school and at weekends, for limited periods. We don't let them spend more than an hour on it (though that's too long IMO).

I was concerned last summer that they would drift towards the PS3, and I would spend the whole time trying to persuade them off it, so announced that it was going away for the entire summer holidays! Told them in June, so would not be too much of a shock in July, and on the last day of school DS2 actually reminded me that it was going away.

Realise that this might sound a bit controlling, but I have tried to combine their desire to keep up with the others, with my dislike of things like this.

Good luck!

PS: The PS3 can go online but we have made it clear that this is not an option on ours!

My boys have a ps3, ps2, xbox, psp and dsi. They traded in the WI to get the ps3 as they never played it. They play online with all their friends and i haven't noticed them grow another head or stop going out into the real world.
My son still trains twice a week, goes to the gym once a week and meets his friends after school to bmx up the chalk pit or scoot or skateboard.

We're both industry folks (though I stay at home now) and have gamed together since we met around 20 years ago, and separately before that. Gaming simply isn't a male bastion these days. :)

Our son plays some games already with us (he's only 3 and a half) but we make sure they're educational (reading or logic apps for example) or have some value of some sort. He's learning a lot of manual dexterity, computing and spacial awareness skills that will come in useful at school. We also strictly limit the time on them and he knows that if he fusses over the time limit he won't get to play for a few days.

We figured that these days gadgets are everywhere so as long as there's a balance (like everything) it can be a beneficial thing as long as it is supervised by the parents.

We will be sticking to the age limits on most games as he gets older (just like we would with films - the limits are there for a reason!) and quite honestly wouldn't allow him to play online on things like, for example, Xbox Live war games until he is much, much older (college age) as the language and content on that tends to be very adult in nature.

You have a ds and the poor kid only has a GBA? I wouldn't be surprised if he hadn't told his friends because that's seriously uncool! You can't even buy games for them anymore except on ebay!

We have:
Wii
X-box 360
Playstation 2
Gamecube
PSP
GBA and a couple of game boy colours.

Everything except the Wii and the x-box is from dh and my childhoods and we have kept them in good condition so they can still be used today. I never spent too much time on them because my mum made it clear how much time we were allowed. We live in a 2 bedroom house too and have no problem with the space. Get him a Wii!

We have a wii and a ps2. DS 15 is only really interested in playing guitar hero on the wii although I am sure if we had a ps3 or xbox he would be playing COD online. If he really wanted one he would save up for it.

DD plays a lot of the singstar/dance games with her friends, and DS's girlfriends.

My 74 year old mother got a wii for christmas and we all played on it, although DM did do herself an injury trying to dance to a Thriller

YANBU

My DS (10) bought himself a second hand PS2 from ebay and has nothing else - neither do DH or I, we are just not 'into' any sort of games consoles - don't even know what a GBA is. of course he moans occasionally that he is the 'only' child in the world without all these toys (no mobile phone either of course) but I know that isn't true.

I don't feel there is any 'need' for those sorts of games, he knows how to use them when he visits friends and he has limited access to the family PC.

Out of interest, what do you use a DS lite for?

We have a very old playstation bought for me by DH many years ago; no-one plays it. DS (7.5) can't understand why the graphics are so rubbish and has no interest in it. He received a DS aged 6.5 which he loves, and plays once homework is done and when in the car etc. We have no other console, though he would love a Wii or 'proper' playstation like all his friends. But I do not want him wasting his life away on gaming when he could be out on his bike, or reading, or inventing something in Lego etc.

So we have resisted pressure to buy a console as yet, and have no plans to buy one in the near future. He doesn't seem all that troubled by it, TBH, and every birthday/ Christmas there are things he wants even more, so I certainly don't feel as if we're depriving him. Then again we don't have 15 billion TV channels either, like most of his friends, so maybe he IS deprived...

I don't get the excuse that 'you don't have the room'...how big do you think a games console is?

I get the not enough room comment. When you play bowling or tennis you need to be able to swing your arms and self around.
FWIW, we don't have anything console-y. DD does have a DS and we have a number of computers (DH is an IT teacher). She did have a moan about getting a connects/connex not sure how to spell it because we were visiting some friends at christmas whose DC got one. She's never mentioned it since, although the same children came to see us recently and asked where ours was.
They were a bit discombobulated to find out we didn't have one.

You don't really when you play the bowling or tennis. You only have to make a slight movement- all that arm flailing is unnecessary, you can play it sitting down.

No idea what a PS/DS/Nintendo is as have 2 girls who have never been remotely interested in electronic gadgets.Think it's probably more of a boy thing as heard woman at work
moaning about the amount of time her 15 year old son spends on a game called COD? He seems to spend an awful lot of time stuck indoors on this thing... each to their own really, if you feel he will be excluded from friends
because he hasn't got one that's up to you.Mine have survived 18 and 14 years without.

Thanks everyone!

To address a few queries.
DS was given the GBA years ago by us - he was dead chuffed with it then.

My DS Lite was a gift from my siblings. I mainly play Tetris, Brain Training and currently Prof. Layton. DS has a couple of games he can play on it aswell, but he's not that interested really.

Dino DH. Yep! We still have a big TV, a video recorder, cassette tapes (as well as more modern things!).

Saying we don't have the room is not an excuse, it's a genuine reason.
I suppose if we has a flatscreen tv, got rid of the video and the tapes we'd have the room, but honestly, the tv cabinet is rammed! We are constantly trying to get rid of stuff not bring more into the house - hard with a 2 year old.

I didn't have a games console myself as a child but my younger sisters had a Sega Megadrive which I played on alot.

If none of his friends had consoles I really don't think it would be an issue. I would not be able to say the same of his bike or his rubgy ball or his books. See what I mean? It's more a peer pressure thing and where do you draw that line between imposing your ideals onto your children and backing down for the sake of your children? I really think it's a massive shame that he might feel uncomfortable inviting friends over because we haven't got a console.

Sigh....I'm imagining this does not get easier as they get older.

We have a nintendo,a super nintendo,a nintendo 64,a nintendo game cube, a playstation,a ps2, a ps3,an x-box,a wii,2 gameboys,2 of whatever the second generation gameboys were called and 3 ds :o

My boys have never thrown out a game system or any of the numerous games they accumulated for each system and even though theres only 2 tvs in their basement gamesroom they rotate though them and still love the old stuff

The wii and 1 of the ds is my 6 year old dd2's and are kept in the den so everyone can play and not have to risk life and limb in the teenagers domain :o

Seriously, WTF? We don't have any of that stuff in our house. No playstations, PS wotchamacallits, Wii , nada. The DC have never asked for any of them, so I don't feel they are beng deprived. Didn't realise peer pressure could come from parents rather than other kids. :o

I haven't the first clue what any of them are either. I see the adverts for XBox, Ps whatevers, etc etc but am clueless. I'm happy in my ignorance and happy playing Mahjong on Facebook but that's about it :)

Technology has mostly passed me by in my dotage.

YANBU.

Your house. Your child. Your rules.

That said, I can't stand the morality on these types of threads.
Not owning a console does not make you a better parent.

Yes, I know that hasn't been said, but it's implied all the sodding time in these types of threads

It is possible to own a console and not have slack-jawed, vacant, robotic children. A bit of common sense is all that's needed.

He might feel a bit uncomfortable with bringing friends over or he might be fine, only you know your DS well enough to judge that.

A few months ago I found my cousin (similar age) very upset over this and a few of us clubbed together to get him an XBOX 360 for christmas (checked with my aunt first). He was over the moon and is still thanking us now :)

It does seem weird to me not to have anything at all, but I'm quite a gadgety person so I love playing on the games. Having a games console does not mean that your children will not do anything else!