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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The time has come to look for my wedding dress, the thing is my Mum and I are not close?

29 replies

goingtothechapel · 22/03/2011 19:14

She had to be dragged to the hospital to see my first born,we are just not close at all and she makes no effort with me or gc,so what should I do?,im worried it would be awkward.

Shall I Take my Best Friend instead and have a day of it with her,or ask Dad to come instead as im closer to him?.

OP posts:
BraveGirl · 22/03/2011 19:16

in a similar position i took friend - 1st time mum saw my dress was on wedding day!

mmsmum · 22/03/2011 19:16

I would take your Dad or your friend

TheVisitor · 22/03/2011 19:17

Take your best friend, definitely! You want it to be a fun day. Grin

JaneS · 22/03/2011 19:21

Don't take your dad - it's a sure way to hurt your mum. Take a friend (or two!) and have fun.

Tillyscoutsmum · 22/03/2011 19:23

Take a friend. I don't think its necessarily "wedding etiquette" to take your mum - even if you are close.

theredhen · 22/03/2011 19:24

I went on my own. I prefer clothes shopping on my own anyway and I wasn't in a position to take my Mum.

curlymama · 22/03/2011 19:27

Take a friend. The Big Day of Trying On Wedding Dresses should be all about fun.

If it upsets your Mum, tell her you found the dress by chance when you were out shopping for something else, then take her to a fitting so she still gets to see before everyone else.

GrendelsMum · 22/03/2011 19:28

I'd go on your own, tbh. Like theredhen, I think that shopping's more efficient on your own, and you'll know when you've found the right dress.

SilverSky · 22/03/2011 19:35

I took my BF. Found dress. On second viewing invited my mum, MIL, SIL and BF again to dilute any atmos.

squeakytoy · 22/03/2011 19:35

I went on my own. :)

KaraStarbuckThrace · 22/03/2011 19:38

I took my friends - my mum lived too far away! But she came to one of the fittings so she could see it on.

SandStorm · 22/03/2011 19:38

I don't think there's a hard and fast rule on who you have to take with you. Go with whoever you're going to have the best time with.

JenniL1977 · 22/03/2011 19:42

I was in the same position last year - I asked my mum to come out of politeness but neither of us were bothered when she said she had something else on. Me and my two bridesmaids went and we had a fab day :) don't sweat it, there's enough to worry about when it comes to your wedding!

Macdog · 22/03/2011 19:43

Take your friend - you need to enjoy the experience

whatagradeA · 22/03/2011 19:47

I went with my SIL. It didn't occur to me to go with my mum (mainly cause she lives so far away!) Is that the done thing?!

Just enjoy it. Go with someone with whom you'll enjoy the day, who will be honest and who knows your style.

zukiecat · 22/03/2011 19:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

emsyj · 22/03/2011 20:05

My mum didn't see my dress til the day. I offered to show her but she wasn't very interested.

I would say our relationship is fairly normal - not toxic or anything.

Take a friend or go alone. I had a couple of trips to try on with various friends but couldn't find anything I liked, so had one made. I went to the designer and to all fittings on my own. Much less stressful than dealing with other people's interfering contributions.

saffy85 · 22/03/2011 20:08

Take your friend. Much more fun. FWIW my SIL took her mates and not her mum despite the fact they seem to get on fine. When I teased her about leaving her mum out she just rolled her eyes and said she wanted to enjoy the experience instead of all her own preferences being critisised for the sake of it...

ln1981 · 22/03/2011 20:12

agree with the others-take a friend. when i go to pick my dress i wont be taking my mum as she will just complain about being dragged round shops, how much she disagrees with my choice etc etc. couldnt think of anything worse imo!!

take a friend, make a girly day of it and have lots of fun!! Smile

Lonnie · 22/03/2011 20:13

I made a big day out of it took 4 friends we went tried on dresses (i tried on they uhhed and ahed and vetoed) then we went to Selfriedges for Champagne and then back to my house where their partners all joined us and we ate dinner

FAB I would highly reccommend it

LessNarkyPuffin · 22/03/2011 20:14

Friend. Even a couple of friends, who promise to tell you if you look like a meringue.

Bogeyface · 22/03/2011 20:15

Definitely take a friend. Taking your mum isnt the law!

Original poster
goingtothechapel · 22/03/2011 20:17

Thanks girls I think I will go with my best friend I trust more than anyone,and will make a day of itGrin.

OP posts:
scotsgirl23 · 22/03/2011 20:18

Take a friend or go yourself. I ended up going myself but did take my friend to see it later. I also took my mum to see it when I was collecting it and she looked thoroughly unimpressed then told family members "hmph, nothing special, I expected to cry when I saw my daughter in her wedding dress but it did nothing for me"

Take people who will be honest but NICE!

bibbitybobbityhat · 22/03/2011 20:19

It would never have occurred to me to take my mum to look at wedding dresses, and we are reasonably ok with each other.

Mind you, I was 30 and had lived away from home for 12 years at the time. And we lived 2.5 hours drive apart.

I went on my own. It was fine!!