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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that having sex when pregnant isn't "sick"

42 replies

jazz412 · 22/03/2011 14:36

So, I'm pregnant and when chatting to some friends (who aren't pregnant) about general stuff the conversation moves to sex, I added something to the conversation and two of them were extremely surprised that we were still having sex.

I explained that just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean that I don't want it (in fact I think my sex drive has increased!) and just because my body shape has changed a bit doesn't mean that DP doesn't still love me and want to be intimate with me.

One was adament that DP was "sick" for wanting sex with someone who was pregnant...

AIBU to think WTF?!

OP posts:
juneybean · 22/03/2011 14:37

That is very WTF, there can be something very sexy about a pregnant woman, and you're only human. We're not a race who solely has sex for reproductive reasons. What tools.

madonnawhore · 22/03/2011 14:40

Ummm. Definitely WTF. I think they're a bit odd for thinking that tbh. Ishooos.

gorionine · 22/03/2011 14:40

YANBU, they are! Have they ever been pregnant yet? they might very welll change their mind one day!Smile

MotherNight · 22/03/2011 14:43

Think they'll change their minds when they're pregnant themselves. Ignore.

TattyDevine · 22/03/2011 14:43

Wetting the baby's head before its even been born Grin

Timbachick · 22/03/2011 14:43

Seriously WTF!!!! It has been documented that women's sex drive often increases during pregnancy and many men find pregnant partners a big turn on (no pun intended there Grin.

What silly and stupid prejudices!

I remember reading a book about pregnancy back when I was pregnant and a whole chapter was devoted to sex during pregnancy and the various positions you could adopt as the bump got bigger Smile.

Original poster
jazz412 · 22/03/2011 14:44

actually no they haven't but they do have other friends that have had babies...

OP posts:
saffy85 · 22/03/2011 14:46

YANBU your mates would want to lock up me and my DP we were at it like rabbits when I was pregnant first time round! Less so this time but I'm waaay to tired but DP still a randy bugger, regardless of the bump! Grin

Original poster
jazz412 · 22/03/2011 14:47

ooo that might be useful timba as I'm only 16 weeks now and most positions seem fine at the moment although I'm sure they'll come a time when they're not comfortable!
I have a bump (hard to tell when you see yourself everyday but friends seem to think it's massive... Hmm )
I wonder what she'll think when I'm very heavily pregnant and still doing it?!

OP posts:
OmniaParatus · 22/03/2011 14:52

It had better not be cos my due date is today and I need DH to help me shift the baba Wink. Also, he had a vasectomy and is under doctors orders to clear out his tubes!

I think in a way it can be sexier because the worse has happened and you don't have to think- what if I get pregnant? No worries about contraception means you can be more spontaneous and relaxed.

The only time our sex life has suffered (3rd pg) is when I didn't think he would want me because I am pg, and when he didn't think I would want it and didn't bother to ask!
Your friends are daft. I'm sure when they have their own babies they are not going to spend 9 months celibate.

lubeybooby · 22/03/2011 14:55

YANBU

Me and (now ex) dp had a great sex life while I was pg, it continued as normal basically. Neither of us ever gave it a second thought!

AMumInScotland · 22/03/2011 15:01

If your DP decided he wanted sex with "someone who was pregnant" he'd be a bit odd, possibly even "sick". But to want to have sex with his partner, during her pregnancy, is totally normal and non-sick. Do they really think you'd spend 9 months not doing it?

TheAtomicBum · 22/03/2011 15:01

YANBU

We still do. Just 'cause DP is pregnent, it doesn't mean I don't still love her and find her attractive. We still continue as normal. In fact, it can be great as you don't have to worry about either contraception or TTC, so it gives you total freedom to just enjoy it.

AgentZigzag · 22/03/2011 15:02

I can understand a little bit because it is a bit odd not to be able to escape the baby, but it's only a fleeting thought and easily forgotten when you're contemplating getting it on Grin

And another Grin thinking about it.

TheAtomicBum · 22/03/2011 15:05

I have heard of people who find pregnant women sexy anyway. Although personally I would never presume a pregnant women to be single and start chatting her up.

Although it seems odd, I suppose it's not really freakily weird. My only issue is that if you do find other pregnant women attractive, you stay away from mine!

One guy did try to chat my DP up when she was 8m pg on DS. I thought, "the nerve. Just because we're young doesn't mean it was a one night stand or something!"

Toygirl · 22/03/2011 15:09

I had sex all the time when pregnant including right at the end when I wanted the baby to hurry up and come out

Original poster
jazz412 · 22/03/2011 15:11

I didn't mean that DP wants sex with all pregnant women... just me lol (and not because I'm pregnant but because I'm still his DP...)

I think it's a bit of a weird one if you avidly go looking for up duffed women to shag but to have sex with your own DP when pregnant surely isn't weird??

I think it might be a jelousy thing, shes' single and therefore "should" be getting it all the time (her words not mine!) and I'm already preggo so no "need" (in the reproductive sense) to be having sex but still have it on tap.

It is quite nice not to have to worry about contraception or TTC :D

OP posts:
TheAtomicBum · 22/03/2011 15:13

When DP went overdue last time, the MW said, "what you need is a good, old fashioned, hour long bonking. That'll bring labour on!"

We were a little shocked at the advice, but nevermind, you shouldn't ignore the advice of a health professional I suppose.

TheAtomicBum · 22/03/2011 15:15

Jazz, is she expecting to borrow yours now that you don't really need his sperm anymore Hmm?

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 22/03/2011 15:19

How old are your friends - genuine question. The attitude they have is a very immature one, and makes me think that they've never really had a serious relationship.

madonnawhore · 22/03/2011 15:19

Does that really work? Shagging to bring on labour?

OliPolly · 22/03/2011 15:22

I love sex when I am pregnant!

DH says I am at my sexiest when I am preggaz Wink

Melly19MummyToBe · 22/03/2011 15:25

I'm 29 weeks today (11 weeks left to go, eeeek!) And I look like I have swallowed a basketball! I get wolfwhistled at now, more than I ever used to before I was PG :o

Sex life is also better than ever :oWink

Melly19MummyToBe · 22/03/2011 15:26

And yes, Madonna, Shagging is one of the best ways to bring on labour, every book, magazine article and internet article I have ever read about kickstarting labour says to have sex!

Original poster
jazz412 · 22/03/2011 15:27

haha well she's not having him atomic!

umm various ages ... mostly in their 20's
It does seem very immature which is why I was a bit shocked by it!

(would like to point out it wasn't all of my friends - only two were surprised, one because she didn't think I'd want it and the other because it's "sick" )

OP posts: