to hate people who say they like kids

[AdelaofBlois]

I don't mean who actually get on with children, or are patient enough to appreciate that their frustrating habits are often due to age, but the kind of folk who genuinely can't see anything at all difficult or dislikable in any child, and who think this temporary love of the whole human race makes them virtuous rather than naive and patronising.

Your OP's a bit vague, what kinds of people are you talking about? Grandparents? Nursery workers? Other parents?

I'd love to not see anything difficult or dislikable in all children, it's a right pain when you can

Well - your OP sounds as though someone in particular has pissed on your cupcakes today, but to engage with what is proffered ...

you have generalised from abstract love felt towards children to love of the whole human race, and then termed it "temporary" and suggested you think it to be "naive and patronising", and, by implication, a vice, not a virtue.

Those are all big leaps, and cover a lot of ground.

To take just one point: an anstract, general love can lead to some quite virtuous, non-naive, non-patronising actions, those of Martin Luther King, for example.

I think you need to close your argument in on smaller territory, and cover that in more detail, anchor it with specifics, before advancing towards adjacent claims.

at 'pissed on your cupcakes'

And exactly what are the doing wrong ? Get a life ..... If that's all I had to worry about I'd be happy.

This is when a 'like' feature would come in handy! So stealing that term animula

It'd be a bit awkward for me if I didn;t like children in general - what with working with 5 and 6 year olds every day.

I can genuinely see the good in all chuldren, even when they are challenging. For almost all, if not all, there ar reasons why therir behvaiours may be difficult, and you learn to see beyind that. That's not to say that some days you patience levels are more strained.

But I can honestly say that on the wholeyes, I do like children, and not just my own!

The OP hates you hulababy

Are you 'naive and patronising'?

are you being unreasonable to hate people who like children?

ou have to ask?

I work with kids and I genuinely do love kids. I love working with them, the funny things they say, I geta nd understand them and enjoying being with them. Dont see anything wrong with that its the same as saying I like nursing/care for the elderly etc. Its something some people do genuinely enjoy more than anything.

I really like working with kids. I think that often they have fun and insightful things to say, that they can challenge adult preconceptions. I also remember how so much of my bad behaviour as a child was down to being upset or confused, and I try to see what's behind children's unpleasant behaviour.

But I am very naive and patronising

I have a mild problem with people who say they hate random groups of other people for no reason than that the other group of people seem better equipped to get on with other human beings of all ages (whether due to 'virtue' or simply a more generous and patient nature).

you miserable bastard

I like kids but I couldn't eat a whole one.

I can safely say that of all of the hundreds of children I have worked with as a TA, there isn't one that I have disliked. I may have disliked some of their behaviour at times but I genuinely miss them all when they go up to the junior school. As a parent however, I have disliked many....

Well someone had to say it rookiemater

I have no problems with people who say they like all children. I do get irritated by people who are shocked, get all judgemental and treat you as if you're a mass murderer if you admit that there are some children you don't like. They act like disliking (a) child(ren) is a crime, instead of acknowledging that children, like adults, are human beings, with their own personalities, and you won't like everyone you meet

I dont really care.

But I demand the right, goddamit, to call a little shit a little shit (or similar).

There's a strange catsbum effect on here when someone dares to use a colourful description about some little shit who has just gobbed on their newborn.

"Well yes, it wasnt nice they gobbed on your baby but you lost all my sympathy when you called them little shits. They're children fgs! "

I usually assume their kids are little shits.

falls in love with JeremyVile

AgentZigzag - I must be. I'll live with it! :)

OP, we need more information to judge whether you are right or not!

I do find it a bit odd when people go on and on about loving children and having meaningful conversations with them etc etc. The relationship you have with a child is totally different than the one you have with an adult and to be perfectly honest, I do prefer adult company.

I have a close friend who clearly adores all children and has endless discussions with her kids' friends about their GCSE choices, home life, school life etc etc ............. I find it all a bit weird (and I wonder if the kids enjoy it - all seems very intense to me and I can recall being thoroughly irritated when my parents' friends quizzed me about my life - still do in fact ).

For me it's all about personality, I click with some kids, I don't with others. Some kids I can't help but like. (And my kids are brilliant, of course. )

Hate is rather a strong word, as is like in relation to children.

I can tolerate any kid more easily than most adults and I don't hate either.

Chuffing heck, don't believe I wrote that-on extreme painkillers and seem to have spent a lot of time on Mumsnet yesterday, despite my memory of the day being that fighter jets were dropping space hoppers on the set of Disney's Aladin.

But, in answer to the question, three specific people did indeed piss on my cupcakes in this way yesterday: my supply cover whose report on the day amounted to no more than 'I really like the kids, they're lovely' (which they are); my MoutL (not married) banging on about how much she loves kids (despite calling ours 'baby' and 'big one' and keeping one of her own at home into his 40s on the pretext of mental illness) and two people seeking advice on job applications where those applications amounted to a long series of statements about how great kids were.

Because the point is I love working with and being around children, I think they tend to be creative, remorsely and entertainingly logical, often painfully honest; and that much that they do that is awkward is just due to age. And I couldn't do my job if I didn't, or look after my own kids. But I don't like them all equally, nor do i really feel 'like being around' is quite the same as 'like' given the differences between us.

There does seem to be a fairly large group of people who find it OK to state that they find all children equally likeable just because they are little, and as a result don't seem to know children as people at all, or be capable of expressing to adults what it is about them as individuals that makes them so 'lovely', and who say 'I like children' as if this blindness shows huge caring on their part, not huge disinterest. And there is a cultural tolerance of 'I like children' that wouldn't be there for 'I like all gay men', despite the fact both are just largish disparate groups of humanity.

And that pisses me off, although hate is perhaps too strong (and I'll apologise).

Hence I didn't say I disliked / hated people who liked children, I said I disliked people who say they do, because I actually often feel it means they don't, since it means they fail to appreciate them as people.

But Mumsnet an odd choice for this post. Why, oh, why did i do that?

Because it's a good place to vent, and say the things you can't in RL.

Hope today is better.