To be feeling really annoyed at DH for going off skiing for a week with mate while I'm at home, pregnant, looking after the kids

[mojoawol]

Is this normal married behaviour? Not been married long, and if it wasn't for the fact that I'm pregnant, we would all be on holiday together, but because of pregnancy, clearly I can't ski so DH has decided that its ok for him to have his ski holiday whatever. AIBU to feel bitter and resentful??

you're putting me on the spot and forcing me to have an opinion of my own if I don't agree with yours..

..can't..

...cope...with...commitment..aaarrrgghh

op, I think skiing in pregnancy is a totally personal thing. When I went, I had quite a few people on here telling me I was mad, but I had quite a few others saying go for it. I'm a pretty able skier, not Olympic class but I can get down most things, if not at high speed or in great style. I avoided blacks (did a couple of easy blacks) and as I said, didn't ski very long. I could actually have done more but I did quite enjoy settling in deck chair in a sunny cafe with my book, having a quiet read in the sun. But maybe that was just me getting old!

< pats cat soothingly on the head >

Bollocks! Am now really annoyed that I could have gone skiing - tho having said that, I'm not really much cop, love it, but do tend to fall over quite a bit, even on the easier blues, so think and would have felt horribly guilty if anything had happened

YANBU to be jealous that he is skiing and you are not.

YABU to have agreed to him going if you were not happy.

If he is anywhere near here (Chamonix/Morzine) then skiing isn't great anyway. Zilch snow.

And for the record, I would not have skied when pregnant.

If you ask a doc in the Alps if skiing is safe when pregnant, they are very likely to say no.

Even the best skier can be bowled over by an inexperienced or careless skier. GA while pregnant is really not ideal.

(it's pretty dangerous IME)

mmeLindt.. my gp was happy for me to go, but then he skis alot himself.

Don't understand why, if you were going to go as a family anyway, you didn't all go together and you just get to relax/read/maybe do a bit of gentle walking or snow-shoeing...
22 wks pg isn't really a reason to cancel a FAMILY holiday imo. (how old are the other kids? Are they disapointed?)

I do think if you fall over a lot then it might not be such a good idea. I tend not to fall over much, but then I don't exactly push myself either. In my reckless youth I was an idiotic skier (with two torn cruciates to show for it) would never ski like that when pg.

Skiing is expensive therefore it is fine as long as he is aware that at some stage in the future you will be taking a girls holiday of equal cost and duration. If you don't make that clear then you are a mug and your DH will walk all over you for ever.

YANBU - not because your DH is going skiing but because he didn't even discuss it with you.

Should def have been a joint decision.

Oh and I'm a keen skier but wouldn't ski when pg. You never know who might ski or snowboard into the back of you.

I think skiing whilst pregnant is safe, if you have a pretty empty piste - the main risk is someone crashing into you, a bad fall, which may be the end of the pregnancy.

I did ski whilst pregnant, but was extremely careful, and I'm not sure now whether I'd do it again.

Depends how quiet the resort is.

headfairy
The docs I have spoken to here (in Switzerland) say no, but then they have seen so many skiing injuries, they probably would quite like to ban skiing altogether.

I was very very cautious when pregnant, no soft cheese, soft boiled eggs etc.

Perhaps a bit of retail therapy would make you feel less pissed of.

Oh, and I would have gone on the holiday, but not skied. Saw a woman in Châtel yesterday sitting in the sun in a cafe with a book balanced on her bump.

MmeLindt, if you're anywhere near Verbier a fair few of them have probably patched me back up too :o I was a walking (or perhaps that should be non-walking) advertisement for not skiing while pg :o Thankfully I'm much much much more sensible now. We did go when it was very quiet, late March, out of school hols, didn't ski at the weekend. Practically had the slopes to myself - that was Verbier too.

Yes kit's selfish. Why couldn't he do something else this year that you'd all enjoy?

Verbier is not far from here, Headfairy. They were probably all thinking of you :o

Stepford Wives? Where?

If it was suppose to be family holiday and you (understandably) why didn't you just book another destination? Or have you got another family holiday booked?

"if it wasn't for the fact that I'm pregnant, we would all be on holiday together, but because of pregnancy, clearly I can't ski so DH has decided that its ok for him to have his ski holiday whatever

If you think for a man to go off skiing - leaving his pregnant wife to do all the childcare for a week without her agreeing that she's happy with the situation. And that the wife is allowed to be annoyed but MUST NOT SHOW IT, then that is all a bit Stepford WIfe in my opinion.