To think the word 'frape' is just awful

[Okonomiyaki]

First off, apologies if everyone already knows this word, I'm a bit of a latecomer to facebook.

I saw the status update of some random after a mutual friend had commented on it. Won't go into what the update said as that's a whole thread a in itself but the poster came back to comment on his update a few minutes later saying he had been 'fraped', ie that someone had written a joke update when he'd left his account logged in.

AIBU to think this is an awful word and to wonder why the hell anyone in their right mind would use it?

dittany Mon 21-Mar-11 13:01:19
The people leading the way wanting to trivialise the word rape do seem to be the blokes

On a point of order I have only ever heard girls use that term.

YANBU

I think its used by women as much as men tbh. What is most concerning is the number of young people using it very much unthinkingly and not fully understanding what they are saying.

Thats just it IHWBTNG, its the youngsters on FB. I've never heard a grown man or woman use it, in fact I've only ever heard young girls using the phrase, often in relation to a brother getting onto their account and posting silly/vulgar comments in their sisters name.

"perhaps SGM means that it is being used by people who aren't taking the time to consider what 'rape' actually means and are just following the crowd"

I think everyone knows what 'rape' means. I also think it's offensive to assume that everyone who uses a particular slang word is unable to think for themselves and just uses it because everyone else does.

That sort of thing happens around here a lot, too, with various terms/words. I doubt that the rampant use of 'PFB' or 'DH' is considered to mean that those who use those terms are "following the crowd" or "unable to think for themselves"

Frape is an awful word. I had never heard it before I saw this thread but assumed when I saw it that it meant being raped by a friend!

"I've heard men using rape as a metaphor in all sorts of inappropriate contexts."

I've heard women using rape as a metaphor in all sorts of inappropriate contexts.

"its the youngsters on FB. I've never heard a grown man or woman use it"

it's old and young, I've never just seen one set of people use it

Its a term that isn't particularly nice when you think about the origin but it has kind of become a word in its own right now and when people use it they aren't meaning to trivialise rape but just using the word.
It's a bit like using the word "gay" as an insult. People that used it generally weren't being homophobic but it was a word that had become popularised but that didn't necessarily mean it was anything to do with gay people or offending them - just an insensitive thing to say when you really think about it, trouble is many of us don't think before we speak.

Every time I see the word 'rape' it feels like I've been kicked in the stomach. And then I have flashbacks.

"It's just a word!" Yeah, not for the victims, dipshit. It's an emotionally-triggering, horrible word that takes me back to the worst possible moment of my f*cking life.

And now I hide this thread so I don't have to see the word again.

Um, lilyberry, you're making an awful lot of assumptions there. One enormous one in particular. Also, there was no need for the personal insult.

wtf tobylerone?

I agree with lilyberry although thank god i haven't personally experienced it.

I hate frape, yawn rape etc

YANBU

On a related point, I wish someone would come up with a less disturbing word for rapeseed:

Rapeseed revolution

(Not the best choice of picture either)

TobyLerone - I wasn't aware I was personally attacking you; I wasn't quoting you or anyone else directly.

Which assumptions was I making?

What was the wtf for?

You're making assumptions that those people who use it/don't have a problem with the use of it, haven't experienced rape.

Some of us them might just choose not to let a word dictate our their entire lives.

You did quote me, and I've skimmed the thread and not noticed anyone else say that. So I can only assume that your 'dipshit' comment was indeed directed at me. It was unnecessary.

SGM, I suggest that you stop telling me what to do. Thanks, but I already have a mother.

Also, this is also bollocks:

"Gay is only an insult if you think homosexuality is wrong."

I know many gay/bi people who use it. Language evolves. Don't use the words if they offend you. But you won't escape people using them around you.

Nope, I didn't take it personally at all. I just felt it was unnecessary.

No. I'm making an assumption that people who use the word have absolutely no comprehension about how emotionally triggering and damaging it is.

I am glad you feel emotionally recovered from your horrific experience. However, it is not - as you claimed - a choice. I wish I could stop having flashbacks, and I've had lots of counselling. I am not choosing to relive my rape; I wish it could be erased from my life. It is an unwanted psychological reaction to seeing that word.

Given your current comments, I stand by my decision to call you a dipshit.

the wtf was because I didn't understand your post and thought it was rude

Wow. If only I were given to personal insults. My fingers are itching. But I shall resist.

Thanks for admitting that you did mean me after all, lily.

Ugh. I apologise.

This is - understandably - an emotionally-charged topic for me, and I wrote some hot-headed things. I'm sorry.