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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to sneak dd in to kids club?

73 replies

Flojo1979 · 20/03/2011 22:48

Trying to book first hol with new partner and want some where can have a couple of hrs alone time. Aibu to book Thomas cook and try to pass off my 2 yr old dd as 3 so she can go in kids club with big brother? and do u think they'll check passports for ages? And if iabu do u have better idea?!

OP posts:

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 21/03/2011 14:09

TLES
You were wearing your only-been-out-4-times-in-4-years badge of honour, as though that makes you a better Mother
You keep referring to children in kid's clubs as 'dumped' by their parents.
Of course your children are your responsibility, whether they are at school, in a creche or at kid's club.
If dd is happy for an afternoon in such a place I will be happy to 'dump' her and go lie on a sunlounger with my husband for a few hours.

MmeLindt · 21/03/2011 14:10

Why is it "dumping" them just because of the age?

Would you say a mother who puts her 2yo into nursery is "dumping" her child?

What is the difference between a child going to nursery at home and going to a kids' club on holiday for a few hours?

TheLadyEvenstar · 21/03/2011 14:17

So it is right to lie about a childs age so they can go to a kids club they are too young for just so you can have some time by the pool? Because everything is a drama in said childs life atm?

I said welcome to the world of parenting where sometimes you have very little time to yourselves as a couple. I would dearly love to have more time for DP and I, and was not bragging about only having gone out 4 times in 4yrs, quite the opposite. I was simply saying thats how life as a parent can be.

However when we go on holiday as a family we are just that, we take the dc and do things with them which yes can be difficult, or boring for us, it can also be very hard work with 2 children who have very different needs with 9yrs between them and DS1 having extra needs but we as a family cope with this.

If we think we will need time to ourselves we take someone on holiday with us, friends or family. Doesn't mean we have to live in eachothers pockets but does mean we can have a bit of "us" time. Although that hasn't happened since I was pg with DS2.

The difference between nursery and kids club is that nursery sometimes is a must for a family, I know it was for me when DS1 was 3 yet now with DS2 it is not a nessecity so I am not worried about him being in nursery.

When DS1 was a toddler he used to stay with my parents most weekends, just as I did as a child.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 21/03/2011 14:18

Mme Lindt I suspect time away from children is allowed if the Mother spends that time working or doing household chores.
Time off for cocktails by the pool or a sneaky shag in the hotel room is most definitely not.

Mothers must not enjoy themselves away from their children

TheLadyEvenstar · 21/03/2011 14:20

MCTH, thats not what I said.
We all need time away from our children, but to lie about a childs age is not the way to go about it.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 21/03/2011 14:22

Not one person said the OP should lie.
I just objected to your use of the word 'dumped' and your frankly bizarre ideas that parents should only have time alone when their children are asleep.

MmeLindt · 21/03/2011 14:23

TLES
"I was simply saying thats how life as a parent can be."

CAN be - doesn't have to be. It is your decision to not go out alone with your DH more than once a year.

If I, or the OP, decide otherwise then it is our decision to make, and why should we be made to feel like bad mothers because of it?

I did say that she should not lie to the staff about the age of her DD, but I don't see why she should be judged for wanting some time alone with her DP.

TheLadyEvenstar · 21/03/2011 14:24

I didn't say they should only have time when calone when dc are asleep just that that is how it is in many cases.

And many others used the word dumped so why single my post out?

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 21/03/2011 14:24

'I leave the DC with my mum so we can have some "us" time but only 4 times in 4yrs.
To me being a parent means me time is restricted to when DC are asleep.'

TheLadyEvenstar · 21/03/2011 14:25

I am not judging anyone for wanting time alone heaven knows we would love to be able to have more time alone. But we wouldn't lie to get it which is what I was responding to.

bonkers20 · 21/03/2011 14:30

You should ask before you book. They might have some flexibility. If the staff are trained for 2s and under and they have the space then they might take her.

We did a Park Resort holiday last year. I contacted them prior to going to ask whether he would be able to join the 12-16 kids club and they said it would be fine. Obviously this isn't the same as a toddler but if you find out what their reasons are then it might help. It might be that children need to be toilet trained or that they just don't have the staff for the ratio required (4/1 I think).

bonkers20 · 21/03/2011 14:31

he being my then 11YO son!

TheLadyEvenstar · 21/03/2011 14:33

MCTH, We would love to have more time together. we have been to hell and back in the last 2yrs. DP moved out to see if it would help with DS1's behaviour, we almost split up, Mum cannot have the boys all the time or as often as we would like, DS1 is becoming harder work as he gets older, DS2 is a klingon, DP works shifts.

So no I wasn't bragging but for us having couple time means when the DC are asleep....not anything there to brag about really.

AlfalfaMum · 21/03/2011 14:37

I think Mark Warner have kids clubs for your DD's age group. Mucho £££ though.
Also, Siblu do if you would consider a mobile home-type holiday (which you should by the way :0 they are fab with kids)

LtEveDallas · 21/03/2011 15:04

OP, First Choice in General (not just their holiday villages) have kids clubs that are co-located. We went to the Canaries when DD was 2 and she was able to go into a creche that was in the same 'compound' as the kids club.

The older kids (3-5) went in through a different door, but they were all in the same building, and could see each other.

We had to pay for Creche, but I dont think it was very expensive, maybe a tenner a session and sessions were 2 hours, every other day (we used it as a godsend to get DD out of the midday sun and into aircon)

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 21/03/2011 15:37

Staffing ratios are different for children of different ages. Which means that for children under 3 I think iirc the ratio is 1 to 4 (or poss 3) but for over 3'd s it is 1 to 8? (sorry not to be more specific) either way insurance would definitely be invalidated as others have said.

Original poster

Flojo1979 · 21/03/2011 22:11

Thanx, just been looking at siblu, didn't realise they have childcare too, might look again tho much dearer that canvas's caravan parks. Will weigh up.

OP posts:

BooyHoo · 21/03/2011 22:39

"It is dumping them if you are lying about their age because everything is a drama in their lives at the age of 2"

teh child will not know whether you lied or not so that point is absoloute rubbish.

if it is dumping because of the 'drama' caused to the child then it is dumping whether you have lied or not. it isn't dumping. parents leave their dcs in kids clubs all th time on holidays. they aren't dumping tehir dcs. tehy are having a break.

BooyHoo · 21/03/2011 22:45

"MCTH, We would love to have more time together."

sorry TLES but you have had several posts over the past few months were you talk about your twice weekly nights out at the pub. if you wanted time alone with your DP you could have it you just choose not to. if you sacrificed one night a week at the pub you could save up and pay for a babysitter to come once a fortnight, someone who could build up a relationship with your dcs andlet you and DP go out. so your martyr "that's what parenting is" act doesn't wash with me.

TheLadyEvenstar · 21/03/2011 22:55

Booy, I go out once/twice a week there is nobody to have the boys so we don't go out together.

I have not been out both nights for a month or so now.

BooyHoo · 21/03/2011 22:58

babysitter. i did say that in my post.

TheLadyEvenstar · 21/03/2011 22:59

Also DP comes with me and the DC if I go out on the second night. just as we did last night.

Stinkyfeet · 21/03/2011 23:12

Flojo, Siblu wouldn't work for what you're after - the club for under 5s needs a parent to stay with the child.

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