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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to sneak dd in to kids club?

73 replies

Flojo1979 · 20/03/2011 22:48

Trying to book first hol with new partner and want some where can have a couple of hrs alone time. Aibu to book Thomas cook and try to pass off my 2 yr old dd as 3 so she can go in kids club with big brother? and do u think they'll check passports for ages? And if iabu do u have better idea?!

OP posts:
BackToBasics · 21/03/2011 09:09

I think it depends on your dc tbh. Some 2 year olds are quite young 2 year olds iyswim and some are more advanced.

My ds was 2 in January and i get Shock faces when people ask how old he is. He is very tall for his age and speaks really really well and does everything his 4 year old sister does. Most people think he is 3. Same with a friend of mine, when her ds was 2, he was really tall and talking really well and just seemed more advanced. Where as another friends 3 year old is more babyish for his age in personality and looks (he is tiny) and you would think he was 2.

I was thinking of doing the kids club on holiday but as the club is for 0-3 then 3+ i don't think i will bother because my ds in a club with babies and 1 year olds isn't going to work at all.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 21/03/2011 09:14

Yeah I'm totally disheartened now. I'm thinking some sort of self catering now. Tho will check out first choice but doubt my dc will stay with creche without other dc.
We r off to haven for wkend this wkend, poor dp doesn't know what he's let himself in for!

OP posts:
petitepeach · 21/03/2011 09:17

Sorry, for any normal caring Mum their little ones come first - I'm sure your children would like to spend time with YOU and not your new partner....Shock

GiddyPickle · 21/03/2011 09:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exhausted2011 · 21/03/2011 09:24

flojo,
you are not a bad person for wanting to use the kids club, ignore all the horrible posts. I hate this attitude.
Some children do not have a good time for hours and hours on the beach.
but I think you will struggle to find a place that takes both of them in the same group.
However I have seen kids club that are all housed in the same building, just maybe slightly different areas.
Good luck

bringinghomethebacon · 21/03/2011 09:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pawsnclaws · 21/03/2011 09:54

I sympathise, but to be honest I would run a mile from any club that didn't check ages scrupulously. If they were sloppy about insurance/health and safety would you really be ok leaving your dd there?

We have three ds aged 2 to 8 and have accepted that we either go completely independent with no childcare eg a villa or pay ££££ for somewhere that has reputable childcare for all ages.

pawsnclaws · 21/03/2011 09:56

Oh and of course now we have to pay extra to go in the school holidays. As your dd is preschool choose your dates wisely!

TheLadyEvenstar · 21/03/2011 10:39

can't go away alone, don't even have chance for a meal alone with partner except when dc's in bed and I cook

Welcome to the real world of parenthood. I have been with DP for 5yrs and in the last 4yrs we have been out 3 times without the DC.
When we go on holiday we always have them with us and they have very very different needs not least because of the 9yr age gap. But as parents we have to find a way to cater for them both and when they are asleep then we have our time together.

DarkSkies · 21/03/2011 10:45

Why don't you stay at home and use all that holiday money to pay for a baby sitter that could become a regular, and have lots of nights out with your DP?

Probably a more sustainable idea...

exhausted2011 · 21/03/2011 10:54

hiding this thread now

BooyHoo · 21/03/2011 10:55

ignore the ridiculous "dumping your chidlren" posts

so some people dont get a break from their dcs, that doesn't mean you are wrong for wanting a break. the break will cost you though. as others have said, your DD will not be covered by insurance and it just isn't worth it. go somewhere that you can book a nanny for her. dont worry about her being separated from her brother, she will be fine. if she isn't you could book the nanny to care for them together.

i also think darkskies idea is a good one. if booking a nanny is too much of a financial stretch then you cant actually afford the holiday you want can you? better to use the money for a babysitter at home and spend tiem with your partner. also, why thehell are you doing all the cooking? why isn't he?

MmeLindt · 21/03/2011 11:05

Well, just shoot me now then for being a bad bad mother.

I regularly (by which I mean several times a year) spend a couple of days alone with DH, leaving the DC either with my parents or my PILs.

We started doing this when youngest was about a year, first time just overnight city break then had a weekend in Rome for our 10th anniversary.

This year we are having 3 nights in July touring Scotland then 3 nights in August touring Switzerland.

I spend all year with my DC, they see enough of me. Occasionally I like to get away - have even had a couple of weekends away leaving the DC with my DH.

You are not a bad mother for wanting to do this, Flojo. Don't let anyone make you feel bad.

babyapplejack · 21/03/2011 11:10

No way will you be able to get her into the kids club - they would check your booking, which would have to be her real age as it will need to match her passport. You need to go somewhere which offers childcare for under 3s - plenty of places will do this.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 21/03/2011 11:14

Yabu, as others have pointed out the insurance will be invalidated if you lie. I would put the older one in the kids club and use the creche. They will be fine separately and make friends. If they hate it, take them out.

And ignore the martyr mummies. It's like bloody Monty Python on this thread.
'I've not had a night out since 1872, you know' Hmm

FanellaFox · 21/03/2011 11:25

YABU. There is a reason it states 3+ and not 2+. There is so much difference etween a 2 and a 3year old, communication, nappies etc etc. It will invalidate their insurance. Also, I would be cautious of a childcare setting that did bend rules.

YANBU for wanting childfree time though, especially with a new DP, it's hard work!

pawsnclaws · 21/03/2011 12:25

I'm laughing at MoreCrack's Monty Python remark Smile. I love my ds x 3 to bits, but being a SAHM means I see an awful lot of them, so when my mum and dad offer to babysit on a Sunday night so me and DH can go out, we jump at the chance!

TheLadyEvenstar · 21/03/2011 12:34

I think the difference is Paws, is you are leaving them with family and NOT asking if it IU to lie about your childrens ages to get them into a club so you can have some time with DH.

I leave the DC with my mum so we can have some "us" time but only 4 times in 4yrs.

To me being a parent means me time is restricted to when DC are asleep.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 21/03/2011 13:14

'To me being a parent means me time is restricted to when DC are asleep.'

Are you serious?

Whilst I agree wrt the lying about the child's age, I take issue with your last comment.
I work 30 hours a week, so when dd is asleep I am doing chores, polishing shoes, ironing etc etc.
If dh and I want a weekend away whilst our daughter has a lovely time staying at her gp's, we will have one. I refuse to feel guilty about it. She is happy, well behaved and sociable.
Parenting is not about being fused to your children 24/7, it is about providing a loving environment and opportunities to experience as much of life as is possible.
Spending a couple of nights away from you does not prevent this, and can often enhance it.

Sacrifice yourself at the altar of motherhood by all means, but don't judge others who want more time for themselves or their relationship.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 21/03/2011 13:32

oh no look what i've started, oh well least thomas cook r getting a good plug (they were much cheaper than first choice holiday village!)
Babysitter idea was a good one, but where would i find someone i trusted to be alone in my home with dcs??? Least at a club for just 2 hrs if one member of staff has a screw loose u hope that the others wont!!
kids club idea well n truelly out the window now. We now thinking of taking the car and driving in to france and doing a bit of sight seeing, and no doubt mickey mouse too!

OP posts:
Original poster
Flojo1979 · 21/03/2011 13:32

Lets see if DP survives haven wkend first!! Will be an interesting test Smile

OP posts:
RunAwayWife · 21/03/2011 13:35

There is a massive difference between leaving children with grandparents or friends to have some time alone and dumping an under aged child in a kids club in a strange place with strangers

TheLadyEvenstar · 21/03/2011 13:58

Morecrack, If you read you will see I said there is a difference between leaving a child with GP's and dumping them in a kids club which they are not old enough for.

If you are on holiday your dc are your responsibilty and "couple" time is restricted to when they are asleep.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 21/03/2011 13:59

I was responding to TLES comments that parents should only have time alone when their children are asleep.

Nobody on the thread has suggested it's a good idea to lie, and the OP has accepted this, so no need to labour the point using emotive language 'dumped' etc.
Putting a child into a creche or kid's club is not dumping them ffs.

TheLadyEvenstar · 21/03/2011 14:07

MCTH, I had already said that its different to leave children with family.

It is dumping them if you are lying about their age because everything is a drama in their lives at the age of 2.