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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can you use the baby weight excuse 5 years down the line?

171 replies

FeelLikeTweedleDee · 20/03/2011 12:52

I've met a few women who say "I'm overweight because I've had babies" and their children are 5+ years old. My mum (bless her) used to say this to me, and I'm her youngest child pushing 30!

So how long do you reckon you can use the baby weight excuse for? And who actually believes it? Men? The childless?

Bitch away.

OP posts:
noodle69 · 20/03/2011 20:15

skiddookly I dont mean limit good stuff but I mean dont constantly eat bad stuff and 'eat for two' as such. I havent got a healthy diet at all and never have had definitely not when pregnant. I had so many mcdonalds drive thrus I think I needed shares lol.

I was sick a lot but I had to do loads of physical jobs such as 3am bar work and working with kids. Sick made me not put on weight as well. The tiredness is hideous early pregnancy but I didnt have any choice as I had no other way of making cash at the time.

I dont know why you are being confrontational. I was just saying my experiences Confused I wasnt discounting anyone else I was just saying what might help.

WhiteElefant · 20/03/2011 20:52

I have never been able to understand the whole baby weight thing either noodle. I didnt realy put on any extra fat whilst pregnant, not intentionally I just didnt eat that much extra.
I can see that there are reasons for some women putting on lots of weight but I cant understant why it seems to be virtually expected that you do and then have to spend months trying to get rid of it.
Before anyone starts to hate me my DD is 13 and my stomach muscles have never recovered and I have loose skin tooGrin

TotallyandUtterly · 20/03/2011 21:00

I had polyhydramnios (way too much water) when I was pregnant and it stretched my stomach to a ridiculous degree. I am all mishapen now. I'm also progesterone intollerant so get really bloated. I had one baby, got pregnant when he was 12 mo, then had another and she's now one. I've tried to diet for a year and lost nothing. However, I've suddenly started losing weight. So i reckon my hormones are chilling and I can now slim down a bit... but I will always be mishapen and stretch marked to within an inch of my life... and saggy.

So I definately believe baby weight is true!

TotallyandUtterly · 20/03/2011 21:01

Oh and I went from a size 10 to a size 20 might I add.

TotallyandUtterly · 20/03/2011 21:02

Ohhh and my stomach muscles parted so much during pregnancy that there's no 'facia' to my stomach so it all hangs forward like I'm still pregnant... urgh I'm disgusting

Chynah · 20/03/2011 21:02

After baby has vacated (and taken the necessary stuff with it) its no longer "baby weight" its YOUR WEIGHT and your responsibility to deal with it. And if you don't eat crap/not exercise and put on too much you ahouldn't have any to lose anyway.

TotallyandUtterly · 20/03/2011 21:05

Chynah did you read mine?

BrandyAlexander · 20/03/2011 21:06

AliGrylls, there are some very sweeping assumptions in your post and I could just post to tell you to have a Biscuit, but can't resist responding so here goes..... firstly, when you're petite, then actually there is a very good reason to be a size 8, because that's broadly where a healthy BMI will land you in dress size. So not about vanity but about nature.

Secondly, to your point "some people prioritise keeping fit and losing baby weight whilst others may prioritise spending that extra time playing with their children or sleeping if their children are really bad sleepers.". Well dd wasn't a bad sleeper so by deduction, I must be a crap mother because I didn't prioritise spending that time with my baby. Or perhaps another explanation is that I went to the gym during my lunch hour at work?

As you are clearly so much a better mother than everyone else please do feel free to inform me of what better things I should be worrying about? Hmm

spidookly · 20/03/2011 21:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Chynah · 20/03/2011 21:10

Totally Yes and from what I read you seem to have some medical issues therefore it's not 'baby weight' you've got but the result of a medical problem.

I had 2 babies within 15 months too but I don't have your medical issues.

Chynah · 20/03/2011 21:10

Sorry Totally didn't mean that to sound like 2 babies close together caused it or anything IFSWIM.

TotallyandUtterly · 20/03/2011 21:11

It's weight as a result of being pregnant and having babies so I think it's fair to say that for me, it's baby weight. I wouldn't have put on the weight if I hadn't had the babies.

TotallyandUtterly · 20/03/2011 21:12

Yeah I know what you mean.

SueWhite · 20/03/2011 21:13

Yes pregnant women should watch their weight. Doctors would agree with that.

Also, dieting does not affect your breastfeeding supply. That is how women in the 3rd world are able to do natural-term breastfeeding.

theresapotatoundermysink · 20/03/2011 21:15

Chyna does make a point. There is a difference between baby weight and medical issues. If you have a medical reason which stops you from losing weight then that's fair enough, but you can't refer to it as baby weight. That is not the reason for being overweight.

I don't think it's ever acceptable to judge somebody for being overweight though. That's to do with them and is nobody else's business.

ReindeerBollocks · 20/03/2011 21:16

Personally I give myself and my body a year to recover from pregnancy including losing baby weight.

But, I don't understand why people would worry about someone else's 'baby weight' whether it be the truth or a lie.

AliGrylls · 20/03/2011 21:22

Novice to be brutally honest I don't really agree with some of the posts on here which seem to be suggesting a woman should be thinking about getting into shape soon after having a baby. To have the time to exercise is a luxury and IMO being thin and toned is about vanity.

It is hard enough for most mothers to get to grips with motherhood without a band of militant anti-feminists telling people that they should get down to a certain weight (although I am sure in other areas of life they consider that they are feminists).

Also, FYI - BMI is a band. It does not "fall" at 8 stone. Being BMI 25 (probably 10 stone) is just as acceptable as being BMI 21 (which for the average woman would be where 8 stone comes in at).

Olivetti · 20/03/2011 21:23

I was careful when I was pregnant, I didn't diet, I just didn't stuff myself. I ate as normal, you don't need any extra until the very end, and even then it's only the equivalent of a couple of biscuits. I'm trying to be careful even though I am EBFing, and trying to do what exercise I can, although that's not much! I'm hardly Kate Moss, but my weight is ok. Each to their own, and I don't care how fat/thin/gorgeous/ugly anyone else is. I just don't want to get fat. Nothing wrong with that, imo, and I spend loads of time with my lovely little girl. I'm only posting this because some people don't seem to accept that just cos you're a bit vain, you can still be a good mum!

Olivetti · 20/03/2011 21:26

p.s. I agree with Novice. And AliGrylls, if being thin and toned is about vanity, so what? We're all sinners! Grin

Chynah · 20/03/2011 21:34

Olivetti totally agree. I was careful not to overeat when pregnant too and carried on running until 3 or 4 weeks before the birth (both times) as a result put on around a stone each time and so it came off very quickly.

Agree motherhood takes a bit of getting used to but also can not understand the 'in my pyjamas til noon' brigade who seem to think that if you get up put on some decent clothes and make up and try and make the best of yourself that you are failing to put your baby first.

BrandyAlexander · 20/03/2011 21:34

AliGrylls, well I am not supportive of people saying that one should be a certain weight either. I only agree with the phrase "9 months on 9 months off" as a means of explaining that there shouldn't be a massive rush to lose the weight, however, I don't agree with it if people use it in the context of by the time your 9 months post birth are up then you should have lost the weight.

I agree that having time to exercise is a luxury in some cases, but for example, I chose to do it in my lunch hour at work. What really riled me about your post was the assumption that one can only fit time in to exercise if it involves prioritising it over the baby. IMO that is just as judgmental as some of the other posts that you say you don't like.

And yes, I agree that BMI is a band. If you are a petite person, 10 stones is usually not a good look. Vain, yes, at the expense of "playing with my baby", no.

Olivetti · 20/03/2011 21:42

I agree, Chynah. I try really hard to make sure I get showered, have a bit of make-up and combed hair to make a good start to the day. Again, each to their own, but I find if I've been up several times in the night a bit of make-up makes me feel more human. But their seems to be an unwritten rule that "good mums" never get a chance to brush their teeth, haven't been to the hairdresser since 1982, blah blah blah.

I actually got my approach from my lovely late Grandma, who was a SAHM all her life, and always took the time to slap on a bit of foundation and lippy, even if she was just spending the day doing the washing and cleaning the skirting boards! Smile

Olivetti · 20/03/2011 21:43

Sorry, there not their Blush I'm so sleep deprived!

LargeGlassOfRedPlease · 20/03/2011 21:46

'have the time to exercise is a luxury' Shocking

FGS..really?? Would it upset you to learn that after 6.30pm the TV in never on in our house but between us, myself and DH excerise 6 times a week...oh and we work ~100hrs week and have 2 DC and no family support.

You choose to make the time if it is something that you feel is important enough!!

Our health (and being slim & toned or aspire to at least) is surprisingly, rather important to us, whilst watching e.g Eastenders isn't Shock

noodle69 · 20/03/2011 21:51

I dont understand how you wouldnt be exercising anyway. By the time I walk around I do about 5 miles a day everyday. Carry all weekly shop by hand thats a lot of weight to push around with the buggies. You should be constantly exercising on a day to day basis just by living your life, no need for the gym.