Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Can you use the baby weight excuse 5 years down the line?

171 replies

FeelLikeTweedleDee · 20/03/2011 12:52

I've met a few women who say "I'm overweight because I've had babies" and their children are 5+ years old. My mum (bless her) used to say this to me, and I'm her youngest child pushing 30!

So how long do you reckon you can use the baby weight excuse for? And who actually believes it? Men? The childless?

Bitch away.

OP posts:
mosschops30 · 20/03/2011 17:37

spidookily you obviously have massive issues, you ranted at my post becauae i didnt agree with you, get over yourself! I didnt call you fat or lazy, but i stand by my post and the reasons that people ar overweight

SardineQueen · 20/03/2011 17:43

Well you did say you "hated" people who say they've put on weight since children, downgraded to "can't stand them" when challenged, which is a pretty extreme reaction to something which is actually pretty inoffensive. I mean it doesn't hurt anyone does it, I don't think I could muster much in the way of loathing at all if someone said they had put on weight since children TBH. Everyone's different though I guess.

ziva · 20/03/2011 17:47

i am technically overweight by bmi (after dd3,im nearly due number 4) but am a size 10.my boobs seem to carry most of my baby weight post babies.nothing i do will reduce them bar surgery.
ive tried all the excercises,dvds etc and i had a flat hard tummy when my babies were 3 mths old,but my breasticles,well they just keep on growing.so even though my eldest is 8 i can say that yes i still have baby weight.

SardineQueen · 20/03/2011 17:47

I can understand thinking that people who say this are making excuses etc. I can't understand hating them. It just seems rather disproportionate.

mosschops30 · 20/03/2011 18:11

Oh god what a picky thread, shall leave you too it as you all know what i meant but are choosing to believe that i hate people for being fat.
As you were

shimmerysilverglitter · 20/03/2011 18:21

Well I am thinner after kids than before tbh but there are bits that will never be the same, stretched skin on stomach, wider hips.

bigpants103 · 20/03/2011 18:37

Its nice to read about other people who don't lose wait till they stop breast feeding. I gain weight really easily when bf but as soon as I stop I gradually lose it with really making that much effort.

I thought it was just me and that perhaps I was eating too much whilst feeding as I'm so hungry and crave sugar because of how knackered it makes me.

That can now be my excuse for carrying baby weight. If someone on mn says it then that's good enough for meWink

Olessaty · 20/03/2011 18:49

If someone asked me why I was fat, I would tell them... well, when I fell pregnant I was a couple of stone overweight (drinking a lot, takeaways, not active), then I gained five stone with my first (yes, five stone in eight months), then two stone with my second, I ate badly during my first pregnancy (I felt sick all the time, and lived on processed stuff as cooking was a vom-fest), and a combination of this and being unable to walk during either of them lead to massive gain.

I've found it tough losing the weight, my (mental and physical) health has been crap since I had kids, but here I am at six stone and four pounds off, slow but steady, it goes on faster than it comes off. My body shape is completely different, so even at a weight where before I'd have been comfortable in a size 14, I am just into size 16s.

Don't hate me because I say being pregnant and having kids are why I'm a fattie. It's true. It's not my excuse because I am doing something about it, but it's blooming hard work getting time to focus on yourself when you have two children five and under. I think you need to be more understanding.

Of course there are people who are deluding themselves, blaming the pregnancies and eating like crap still. I'd maybe feel a mild irritation at most, on a bad day, just before my period, after a sleepless night. Maybe.

FeelLikeTweedleDee · 20/03/2011 18:57

Thanks for sharing everyone. Interesting reading.

I've recently got back to my size 10 pre-baby weight. My DD has just turned 8 months and I'm still breastfeeding her. I got back to pre-baby weight by calorie controlled diet (1500 cals per day which is safe when BFing) and lots and lots of walking with the pram. I must walk at least 20 miles per week as I make sure I walk every day. I certainly haven't got 'lucky' genes. I've had to work hard at it. If it gets to 8pm and I've ate my allocated 1500 cals for the day, and I'm still hungry, then I go to bed hungry.

I was interested to read that some of you say that breastfeeding has hindered your weight loss. Why do you think this is?

OP posts:
Olessaty · 20/03/2011 19:08

I didn't diet when I breastfed until a good nine months in, when she started reducing the feeds and wasn't relying on the milk solely for nutrition. I just got too hungry to reduce my calories that much.

trixie123 · 20/03/2011 19:18

definitely a lifestyle type issue to some extent. Not only do you have less money and time to exercise but generally less energy also (getting up in the night will do that to you!). If you factor in having any sort of time with your DP/DH when they get in from work that kind of rules out evenings and once or twice a weekends isn't going to make any a huge difference. As others have said, its not just weight but shapt that changes - I was lighter after DS1 than when I fell pregnant but was less happy with the way my midsection looked due to CS horrible overhang bit. Does that ever go?

annapolly · 20/03/2011 19:21

My DS is 11 and I still have baby weight. It is much harder when you have a baby late.

WanderingSheep · 20/03/2011 19:22

What ShowOfHands said!

When I had DD1, I lost all of my "baby weight" within 10 weeks of giving birth. I ended up being slimmer and lighter than I was pre pregnancy. However, losing the weight so quickly has given me saggy skin which hangs over and I have stretchmarks so my body will never look like it used to Sad.

AliGrylls · 20/03/2011 19:27

I have always wondered about this. I know people who have been on both sides - for myself before I got pregnant I found it hard to lose weight; now I have children I am the slimmest I have ever been without trying (there is a point I am not just boasting). Most of my friends fall into the other camp of being slimmish before then struggling to lose it after.

I have always thought it has something to do with activity levels. I had a really sedentary job before kiddos and am so much more active now, maybe for some other people it is the reverse (as a possible explanation).

Also, I am sure it is a question of priorities - some people prioritise keeping fit and losing baby weight whilst others may prioritise spending that extra time playing with their children or sleeping if their children are really bad sleepers.

Anyway, IMO size 8 is completely unnecessary no-one needs to be that thin and it is what is known as vanity. Also, I would like to know why some people are so obsessed with being slim and "toning up" after a baby. Are there not more pressing things to worry about?

chickbean · 20/03/2011 19:35

I weigh the same as I did before DCs but can't seem to summon up the enthusiasm to do the sit-ups that might shift the jelly belly (after DS2, was starting to think about it when I got pregnant again - can't use that excuse again Grin).

Have just finished breastfeeding DD and my boobs are still a lot bigger than pre-children - is there a normal period of time that it takes for them to settle down? I don't want to buy too many new bras until I know that they aren't going to change again.

Carrotsandcelery · 20/03/2011 19:37

There can be so many reasons why someone can still carry weight years after they give birth which are hard for them to control but which are all related to giving birth.

  • They could have serious thyroid problems (another cliche I know but it does influence someone's ability to lose weight)
  • They could be suffering from depression
  • Their child could have sleep problems and it is well known that it is harder to regulate eating when people are constantly underslept
  • They may have done a very active job or lifestyle before their children and find it difficult to maintain this afterwards

And so the list goes on.

What I think is more sad is that women feel they have to justify being a different weight after child birth or at any other time in their life.
It is worth thinking about the internal thought process that makes someone make the comment that it is babyweight.

noodle69 · 20/03/2011 19:50

Depends how much you put on. At 9 months pregnant I was 9 stone 5. I lost all baby weight and had flat stomach within 2 months. I didnt go to the gym I just didnt eat big portions and I never sit still ever. (I even find it hard not moving around when I am sitting on here!)

If you dont put loads on you wont have loads to lose and it will go off without you noticing. Also working till you drop in a very physical job definitely helped me. (No not much help now but maybe will be in subsequent pregnancies)

spidookly · 20/03/2011 19:50
  • They may have a shit husband who doesn't allow them to have any time to themselves to take any exercise

I would never diet whilst breastfeeding. Keeping up my supply by following my appetite is more important to me than being slim soon after my babies are born.

I'm not vain enough to prioritise how I look over feeding my children.

spidookly · 20/03/2011 20:03

"If you dont put loads on you wont have loads to lose and it will go off without you noticing"

That's all very well, but do you think pregnant women should be watching their weight?

What do you say to women with nausea that means they basically need to eat starch all the time for 10 or 12 weeks at the start and are so tired they can barely move?

Pregnancy affects all of us differently.

I've always been a very fit, active person but from 2 days before I got my BFP with no.1 I had crushing nausea for weeks, which was quickly accompanied by unbelievable tiredness.

All my plans of staying active and sticking to my (usual) healthy diet went out the window as I just put my head down, ate what I could manage, and tried to get through to 14 weeks (when it started to ease).

If you have the energy to stay active and don't get any nausea so you can still eat pretty much what you choose, count yourself lucky. The little snidey remarks casting aspersions on people's inability to eat healthily while pregnant are tiresome.

Do you just listen to other women tell you their experiences were different and think they are lying to excuse their disgusting fatness?

Happylander · 20/03/2011 20:07

I weigh more now than when I was pregnant LOL. Mind you I do have PTSD and my DH is in Afghan so I'm on my own. Walk the dog everyday and also walk everywhere I can as do not have enough money for petrol. Don't have junk in the house, cook from scratch and rarely drink alcohol...although did treat myself the other day after hoofing stuff in the 2 hours Grin. I think stress plays a big part in weigh gain and top that off with lack of sleep then weigh loss is hard. Can't wait for DH to come home in 3 weeks so I can get straight out in the morning with the dog for a little run.

Happylander · 20/03/2011 20:08

'hoofing stuff in the loft for 2 hours' brain is rubbish!

Petsville · 20/03/2011 20:09

Another one here who's thinner after than before, but I'd got comfortable in my skin pre-baby and now I'm not. I'm still BFing so have enormous horrible Katie Price boobs, but I'm scrawny everywhere else (including my neck - I think I've aged about ten years). A bit of baby weight would be preferable, really.

Agree with spidookly: there are all sorts of reasons why some people might put on more weight than others, and why some might find it harder to lose it than others. I couldn't eat much while pg as DS was jammed up under my ribs, so didn't put much weight on in the first place, and I really struggle to eat at all if I'm exhausted, so I've lost weight since DS was born because of lack of sleep. Not everyone reacts like that: in fact I think it's more normal to put on weight if you're short of sleep.

foreverondiet · 20/03/2011 20:12

My baby is 11 months old, I have just lost it over the last 5 months since I stopped EBFing. For me EBFing and dieting don't work, and weight loss is slow, so I would say its a valid excuse until the baby is maybe 18 months old?

I have had to diet each time to loose. If someone said that to me with a 5 year old I would just say, well if you want to loose the baby weight you need to diet, it will not magic itself away.

spidookly · 20/03/2011 20:12

Yes, it is usual to put weight on when you don't get enough sleep. You eat to provide the energy you lack from insufficient sleep.

This has never been a particular problem for me, but I'm sure it happens.

strandedpolarbear · 20/03/2011 20:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Swipe left for the next trending thread