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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be told my Grandad died

34 replies

faeriefruitcake · 18/03/2011 09:12

No I found out from Face Book. FFS!

Please validate my anger, it might just stop me doing my cousin some serious damage!

OP posts:
Bucharest · 18/03/2011 09:13

YANBU.

My Mum found out her brother had died from me reading my cousin's FB and ringing her.

Sorry about your Grandad.

justpaddling · 18/03/2011 09:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lesley33 · 18/03/2011 09:13

That is really awful! You have my sympathies.

poopnscoop · 18/03/2011 09:14

I enjoy Facebook, but I also hate it...

Very sorry about your grandad (hugs)

RJRabbit · 18/03/2011 09:14

Go ahead and do your cousin some serious damage. That's fucking disgraceful.

Zippylovesgeorge · 18/03/2011 09:14

I am sorry to here that.

When my Grandad died last year we agreed between our (large) family for a FB blackout until we were sure everyone who needed to know did.

Vallhala · 18/03/2011 09:18

What Rabbit said.
Grandparents are so special and their passing is paimful enough as it is.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

MrsKwazii · 18/03/2011 09:19

YANBU to be upset to find out this way, it's awful and must be so upsetting. Sorry you've lost your Grandad.

I think that YABU to be angry at your cousin though. It just shows how in thrall a lot of us are to social media - certain events really do need to be handled more sensitively than just being broadcast.

However, your cousin is probably on automatic pilot and has done what they would normally do when something happens to them - putting it out on FB. They probably won't even have thought about the effect it may have on family members who read it there first - they're just caught up in the their own emotions.

curlygirl4 · 18/03/2011 09:21

My brother posted our mothers death on FB Angry an hour after she passed away I didn't get the chance to tell my daughter who is at university she rang me in tears.
The same daughter also posted that she had a girlfriend on FB without mentioning it to me and a friend told me.

mrsscoob · 18/03/2011 09:24

That is disgusting... I'm sorry, I just hate it when people do things like that, I have lost some family members recently and if you looked at my facebook you would never know, as those things to me are personal. OK I can kind of understand people writing things later on but before all family have even found out??! That is appalling. I am very sorry for your loss and so sorry you had to find out that way x

MrsKwazii · 18/03/2011 09:25

Zippy - interesting that your family agreed an FB blackout. Just shows that this kind of thing really does need to be made excplicit now. People really just don't think. I don't think it's malicious, just insensitive and thoughtless

CrapBag · 18/03/2011 10:36

YANBU. That is shocking!!

I am on facebook but it does my fucking head in with people posting every stupid little detail of their and other peoples lives on there. I am not happy with people putting pictures of my children on there or announcing the birth of my DD before DH has even been home and had chance to tell people himself.

Talking about the death of someone is disgusting. Is no information sacred anymore FFS! Angry

ThistleDoNicely · 18/03/2011 10:44

That is terrible. I really feel for you. I found out my Grampa died last year by text from my brother. He sent "Grampa had a heart attack." I was driving home from work so didn't call back immediately and he followed it 10mins later with "He's dead". When I did speak to him he said he was sorry but was in shock and we agreed not to post anything on Facebook because we didn't want to risk anyone finding out that way. That's just not the right way to get such awful news.

Ormirian · 18/03/2011 10:44

So sorry Sad

That is truly dreadful.

ThistleDoNicely · 18/03/2011 10:47

Oh, but I would just add that I have no problem with people announcing family events on Facebook generally. I think it's just a more immediate and modern way of, say, putting a death notice in a local newspaper. But immediate family should know first IMO and that's the risk of such instant communication.

SunshineOnARainyDay · 18/03/2011 10:50

So sorry for you, what an awful way to find out. I don't use Facebook any more as things like this make me so cross!

RunAwayWife · 18/03/2011 10:59

YANBU, sorry for your loss

florencerusty · 18/03/2011 23:26

YANBU and there is no excuse but perhaps the poster never thought it through.

I discovered my SIL had been murdered on ITV news!

florencerusty · 18/03/2011 23:27

Very very sorry for your loss x

onehotmomma · 18/03/2011 23:38

So sorry to hear about your grandad op:(

I found out my nan had died reading the obituaries(sp) in our local newspaper

backwardpossom · 18/03/2011 23:39

That's terrible. :( Sorry about your grandad. That's a terrible way to find out.

ddubsgirl · 18/03/2011 23:41

so sorry,awful way to find out,my dad died in the morning about 9am i didnt know till gone 6pm and only because my sil called to see if i was ok,i wasnt in at the time,my fil had to tell me(wasnt fil at the time)its so horrible,hugs xxx

TidyDancer · 18/03/2011 23:43

I'm so sorry for your loss. :(

YANBU. What a horrible way to find out.

janedoe25 · 19/03/2011 00:00

YANBU What a horrible way to find out, some people are just morons! My DS announced on FB that my baby girl was stillborn, i was/am fuming about that!

TBJP · 19/03/2011 00:07

I found out my grandfather had died in the Christmas round robin from my aunt! Six months after his death.

Admittedly there has been a family rift for a few years, but even so.