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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Seriously?!?

132 replies

NearlySpring · 17/03/2011 22:40

Dd (6) REALLY would love to learn to play a musical instrument, quite a few children in her year at school have the lessons (we see them coming in with their cellos and violins).

Today I enquired about booking them for her. They are £17 per child for 30 mins lesson once a week This is for 3 children sharing the lesson. PLUS £80 per term to hire a child sized violin or cello.

I am a single parent and I work full time. I have a decent job and decent salary and we are comfortable, but this seems like such a large amount of money to pay out each term in addition to the clubs she already does.

So I was thinking today... I wonder how all the others afford it, I know for a fact that two of the kids who have the lessons have parents who don't work. I looked on the school website to find out that if you don't work you get FREE music lessons.

AIBU in feeling that music lessons are a luxury and shouldn't be free for people on benefits?

Maybe I AIBU and just a little green eyed that I work so hard and cannot afford something that I could get for free if I didn't work. Not benefit claimant bashing here, it's a hard time and many people are being made redundant, I totally understand lots of people on benefits right now just can't find work (I was in same position not all that long ago)....

But seriously, free music lessons?!?

OP posts:
abbierhodes · 17/03/2011 23:12

'Struggle to prioritise the arts'????FFS. No, I'm afraid I prioritise food and heating! And I know plenty of people who live on benefits through choice...free bus pass, free school meals, free gym membership, free housing and your bills paid... there is an element of society who really don't aspire to more than that. I know that's not everyone on benefits, but you'd be niave to think everyone wants to work. I think you and I live in different worlds, mitchy.

CaptainNancy · 17/03/2011 23:21

But nearlyspring- children cannot influence whether their parents work or not! Why should children of (SUPPOSEDLY) feckless parents be penalised or held back?

Original poster
NearlySpring · 17/03/2011 23:26

CaptainNancy - you have a point there! I'd not thought of that before I posted my OP.

I suppose we shouldn't expect children to be held back if they have (supposedly) feckless parents....

So free music lessons, free fashionable clothes? Free swimming lessons? Free dance / drama classes?

I stick by my idea for change. Stop FREE lessons for those on JSA and heavily subsidise / make it free for those on disability benefits who cannot work and those who work but are on low wages.

OP posts:
LoopyLoopsChupaChups · 17/03/2011 23:37

Correct me if I'm wrong, but is JSA not only payable for a short space of time?

So, are you suggesting that a child who has been learning an instrument for a period of time should suddenly stop when parents lose employment, then take it up again when a new job is found? Can you see a problem with this?

CaptainNancy · 17/03/2011 23:41

Could I clarify please? You are in favour of punishing children for their parents' behaviour? Shock

(not that being on JSA makes you feckless anyway FFS...)

cestlavielife · 17/03/2011 23:49

second hand child sized violin for my dd £35

tethersend · 17/03/2011 23:51

YANBU.

What do children of the workshy want with fancy violins? They should go home and learn to play those tightened purse strings.

Although violins do seem sort of apt for your OP.

MitchiestInge · 17/03/2011 23:52

now I'm on benefits you can have our scabby cello and viola and I'll claim my free del Gesù replacements

MitchiestInge · 17/03/2011 23:53

although I don't think he made violas?

zipzap · 17/03/2011 23:54

DS is learning violin through a music club at a local private school which is open to everyone. His teacher also runs the music club in his state school but he's not old enough to do violin lessons there yet.

we pay about £15 for half an hours tuition that's 1 on 1. Violin hire used to be about £20 a term, but we were able to buy a child sized violin pretty cheaply - we got it from here - www.caswells-strings.co.uk/shop/13-otto-spengler.html - have just checked and their basic student violins are less than £70 (currently on offer, were about a hundred).

We figured that if he did it for more than a year and then ds2 is coming up and will hopefully have a go too, it would work out more cheaply than hiring plus we would also have something we could sell on afterwards.

at the rates you are being charged for a term's instrument hire you would be better off buying one.

it is also worth looking around to see if there are any other people offering music lessons as it seems very expensive for group lessons and hire...

Original poster
NearlySpring · 17/03/2011 23:58

thethersend end your post made me smile - you are very witty! Smile even though I appreciate you were taking the piss out of me.

Maybe it's just my way of thinking. I work as hard as I can, 12 hr shifts, juggling childcare, trying to afford a decent home and nice things for my dd. If I become unemployed then I have less money, I claim benefits to tide me over to the next job and during that time we cut back on everything. That's what I meant by tightening purse strings. Thats ust what i did when i was made redundant.

I do not begrudge anyone benefits, many of us have used them when times have been hard. I do not think people on benefits should be getting freebies that people who are working fulltime cannot afford!

I live in SE London by the way. (To those who asked
about where I am as lessons so expensive).

I shall take lessons with an outside of school tutor, it will be cheaper and I will probably buy a second hand instrument.

OP posts:
BoffinMum · 17/03/2011 23:59

We pay £10 for half an hour, state school. Instruments can usually be bought for £50-£100. Clearly you are hiring a Stradivarius there from the price of it.
Lots of illicit cross-subsidy in school music lesson arrangements, ripping off parents at random while doing little to promote proper inclusion.

GORGEOUSX · 18/03/2011 00:00

Oh, and YANBU Grin

BoffinMum · 18/03/2011 00:01

Sorry, should have said for solo lesson.

ISM fees

Original poster
NearlySpring · 18/03/2011 00:05

Really Boffin mum? All the schools in our SE London "borough" have their music lessons run by the same company. They are all the same price. It's £17 for 30 mins with 3 in the class then more if you want 2 in the class or even more for 1:1

So, do you think they raise the prices for those paying to fund the free places for those kids who are getting it free???

OP posts:
GORGEOUSX · 18/03/2011 00:10

Nearlyspring I wouldn't bother going via the school - that's a ridiculous amount of money for a shared lesson. Sure you can find private lessons cheaper.

CaptainNancy · 18/03/2011 00:11

Probably- that's how taxation works isn't it?

LittleNicci · 18/03/2011 00:12

YANBU.

"I do not think people on benefits should be getting freebies that people who are working fulltime cannot afford!"

I couldn't agree more.

GORGEOUSX · 18/03/2011 00:16

LittleNicci DITTO!

CaptainNancy · 18/03/2011 00:19

It isn't the people on benefits who are getting these lessons Angry

The recipients of the lessons are children. Again- why should children be punished because of the circumstances into which they were born?

All children should receive music lessons as part of school life. It is shameful that they do not.

tethersend · 18/03/2011 00:20

Indeed Littlenicci. Why should children who work for a living go without when children who swan about all day watching Jeremy Kyle on their flatscreen TVs get it handed to them on a plate?

Hang on.

GORGEOUSX · 18/03/2011 08:48

If people on benefits want their DC to have music lessons, they should get off their arses and get a job to pay for it - there are lots of cleaning jobs available. Grin

GORGEOUSX · 18/03/2011 08:49

Go ahead - I'm got my flame-retardent suit on - bring it on. Grin

BoffinMum · 18/03/2011 08:56

Having stood at the school gate and heard people who hang around at home all day mutter that they should not have to pay £2 for a pair of swimming trunks in Tesco because they are on benefits, while I run around like a blue arsed fly so I can afford my children's needs, informally subsidise their school trips and even watch their kids go into the after school club for free while working parents are deprived of (paid for) places, there is a bit of me that agrees. Where is their pride FFS? What example does it set to the kids if you never lift a finger?

cory · 18/03/2011 08:59

Perhaps the children who are given the opportunities to work at things like a musical instrument may be just that little less inclined to become the layabouts of the next generation.

If it really is true that a sizeable proportion of the benefits claimers are out of work because of their apathetic attitude, why would we not want to get their children to spend their time practising scales on the violin instead of slumping in front of the telly? If you want a change in people's attitudes, this sounds like the ideal place to start.