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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not tip my hairdresser?

255 replies

MrsSatsuma · 17/03/2011 19:49

Just wondered what everybody else thinks about this - as I always go to the hairdresser on my own, I've no idea what anybody else does! I occasionally tip my hairdresser (eg if it's £37 I'll round it up to £40) but not always - came to £75 last time as I had highlights too and I didn't know what to do so just left it.

I don't want to tip and risk offence, if it's against convention, but I don't want them to think I'm mean. On the other hand it's pretty expensive! As far as I know people don't tip for other luxuries, like massages or manicures (do they?) so I assumed hairdressing was no different. I don't tip taxi drivers as a taxi ride usually cleans me out anyway! and I do usually tip in restaurants provided I've had good service.

Would love to know what others do!

OP posts:
frgr · 21/03/2011 12:33

but... but... but... RossettiConfetti it's so much easier to wave all that away with a sneer and say "oh but you're just being mean", dontchaknow?

HaveToWearHeels · 21/03/2011 12:34

Don't tip hairdresser, how ever I do tip waiting staff.

beautyspot · 21/03/2011 12:45

Rossetti, well said.

hmc · 21/03/2011 12:48

Pah! it's still mean

beautyspot · 21/03/2011 13:41

All the people on this thread who tip without questioning prove that there is still too much money in the UK. Looking at the replies it seems to be girls in their 20s/early 30s that are doing this.

Now..this could be because they feel they have nothing to save for; being completely priced out of the home buying market.

I hoped that the "credit crunch" would sort out all this irrational behaviour.

I'm quite gobsmacked by people who are tipping without questioning - and obviously without thinking about the consequences.

It's a habit from by-gone eras, it's demeaning, it's vulgar and there's absolutely no reason for it at all (apart from making some people feel superior and richer than others)

Skifit · 21/03/2011 13:47

I dont tip...I thought it was old fashioned to tip...
Maybe leave a tip in a restaurant but not at with haircut,,,I just have adry cut for 10£ and thats it. . .but am a regular there.
Plus with having had 3 kids to pay for haircuts that comes to around 40 quid so cant afford tips as well.

zebedeethezebra · 21/03/2011 13:53

I'm not a hairdresser...

However, they have a lot of power over you. So they can give you a really bad haircut which you're stuck with for weeks. Tip and tip well, then you'll have their best cuts each time. My bill usually comes to around £75 and I always give a tenner.

They do get paid appallingly and rely on tips.

djinnie · 21/03/2011 13:56

I don't tip... but have often wondered if I'm expected to.

I pay about £42 for a senior stylist at Aveda (who is excellent). It takes him about 15 minutes to cut my hair and then I spend about a month under these bizarre light things as my hair is too curly to blow dry. He literally spends 30 mins at most with me although I am usually in the salon for nearly 2 hours.

I figure his hourly rate is better than mine and nobody tips me.

hmc · 21/03/2011 13:58

I'm in my 40s. I'd dearly love to be a 'girl' in my 20's / 30's. We probably do have 'too much' money in many people's opinions. My decision to tip is very much a considered act - for me it is voluntary income redistribution (over and above our tax contribution) as I don't consider state welfare provision and minimum wage safeguards sufficient. Perhaps it is also to salve my bleeding liberal conscience but I bet the waiter receiving the tip doesn't give a shit about my motives.

My beef is with people who can afford to tip and choose not to, and the very defensiveness / aggressiveness of some of those on this thread only serves to reveal their underlying discomforture with their parsimony.

Still as long as you are happy in your niggardly skin

myonlysunshine · 21/03/2011 14:10

I'm really surprised that so many posters don't tip. I've never really questioned it - I thought it was expected/what everyone did (I'm in my 40s).

I've cut back a lot on spending over the last few years (going to a cheaper hairdresser, only going 2-3 times a year, do kids and dh hair myself, eating out only a couple of times a year) but would always budget the tip in as part of the cost of the service/evening. If I couldn't pay a couple of pounds towards the tip then I would know I couldn't afford the service in the first place!

I had never ever considered that tipping might be vulgar and displaying a superior attitude, as beautyspot suggests! Given me some food for thought, I suppose. But it would still feel really rude not to tip after a meal in a restaurant, for example, unless there had been a major problem.

RossettiConfetti · 21/03/2011 15:59

myonlysunshine, there is a difference between tipping for a good service rendered, and tipping for any service automatically. And there is a difference between a couple of pounds and 15-20%. Especially when one earns the same wage as the person you are tipping (ie minimum).

I'm not advocating no tipping whatsoever. I just think you should tip intelligently and for good reason, and not 1/5th of the total bill.

beautyspot · 21/03/2011 17:37

All you people spouting forth about "poor" hairdressers being on minimal wages are living an alien world to me.

I assume that you know there are many, many people doing likewise ie newly qualified nurses, office staff, check- out staff in supermarkets, shop assistants, road sweepers, bus drivers etc etc etc.

I'm really interested in knowing why you think you should tip hairdressers and taxi drivers and not tip anyone else?

Genuinely interested.

1Catherine1 · 21/03/2011 18:13

beautyspot because society has taught us to. We have been conditioned to believe it is the "done thing" regardless of the complete lack of logical sense of doing it so to not do it would be to go against the norm which people just don't like to do.

This is clearly shown by the amounts people tip and their comments. Those that quote "having lived in America..." often follow that by a figure of 20% tip as where the norm on here seems to be more around 10%, I would be willing to bet those that lived in Japan would be leaving zero tip as I hear it is considered insulting in the Japanese culture. [my source is a program I watched once on the culture of tipping which compared how much people tip in each country]. It was a long time ago.

I have never really considered it a choice and have always done it and will make exceptions when the service is bad or when I don't believe the job was done properly.

FattyArbuckel · 21/03/2011 19:18

You should tip hairdressers and taxi drivers because it is customary - as simple as that. If folk didn't tip then their normal prices would be higher.

Tipping is not about whether or not you earn more or less yourself than the person you are tipping. The point is that if you are buying a service for which tipping is customary then it is part of the price and you should only refrain from tipping if you are unhappy with the service.

For those folk who say "I am only on the minimum wage myself of course I should not tip", I would say that actually if you can't afford to tip then you can't afford to go as effectively you are expecting others to subsidise you.

In the UK, tipping is not as usual for hairdressers as it is in restaurants, therefore there is more of an argument not to tip your hairdresser than not to tip your waiter. I would have every sympathy in the case of waiters if they chased after non tippers and asked them what exactly was wrong with the service.

People who don't tip in restaurants regardless of whether the service was good are mean, simple as that. I don't expect these people to be happy about hearing what other people think about them but then if they were that bothered about being unpopular they wouldn't be mean so I expect they can get over it pretty easily. Most full time hairdressers and waiters earn more than I do but I don't view that as a reason not to tip.

FattyArbuckel · 21/03/2011 19:24

Blimey, if you want to be mean and then attempt to justify it as a political decision in order to take the moral highground, who is the sanctimonious one here?

Non-tippers want to be subsidised by others and yet still to occupy the moral highground - who do you think actually buys this excuse? Don't kid yourselves, other people are judging you as mean. People are either generous or mean and it bears no relation to how much they earn ime.

RossettiConfetti · 21/03/2011 19:27

Tippers aren't subsidising non-tippers! Those in the industries where we might tip would still be working and living whether they get their tips or not.

This is not America Wink

noodle69 · 21/03/2011 19:27

'For those folk who say "I am only on the minimum wage myself of course I should not tip", I would say that actually if you can't afford to tip then you can't afford to go as effectively you are expecting others to subsidise you.'

Well I think thats a load of bollocks as I have worked as bar staff, waitress, flyer girl all sorts. We never got to keep our tips we got a teeny teeny amount split between everyone. I wont tip as I live in a tourist town and no what they do with their tips. It isnt often people tip here cause its a poor place so it isnt seen as customary to tip.

FattyArbuckel · 21/03/2011 19:29

Tippers clearly do subsidise non tippers because if nobody tipped then basic prices would go up

RossettiConfetti · 21/03/2011 19:32

I see, so I'm obliged to tip my hairdresser 15% in order to protect you, FattyArbuckel, from paying an extra few pence for your cut and colours? Right Hmm

noodle69 · 21/03/2011 19:33

Well no they wouldnt as I have a very good friend who workers at a hairdresser. The woman drives a mercedes and lives in a mansion but all the girls are on £75 training wage or minimum wage. Its her being tight not me. Same as all other people that run businesses do that to minimum wage workers.

noodle69 · 21/03/2011 19:35

Sorry I meant the owner does that. A lot of hairdressers are raking it and costs are low if you dont know them. Owners take advantage of that the same as they do to beauty therapists. They should pay higher wages instead of caring about high profits and treating the staff like shit.

FattyArbuckel · 21/03/2011 19:37

No you are evidently not obliged but you shouldn't be suprised if others judge you as less than generous accordingly. Similarly whether or not you are mean is not judged on how much you earn.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

noodle69 · 21/03/2011 19:41

As I said it is rare for people to tip in my town. Its just not seen as the done thing as its a low wage culture. I think it depends on the kind of place you live. You only get tourists tipping here the locals dont do it.

RossettiConfetti · 21/03/2011 19:48

Being a good tipper isn't the primary way of judging a person's generosity, and in fact is quite a shallow way to judge, I would say.

Would you call a nurse, a care worker, a charity volunteer, a soldier - tax payers who contribute to society - mean people for not tipping?

Be careful how you judge people, and certainly if you judge them by how they spend their money. If someone gives a proportion of their earnings to deserving charities, but doesn't generally tip, it seems shallow of you to deem them mean.

FattyArbuckel · 21/03/2011 19:57

"Would you call a nurse, a care worker, a charity volunteer, a soldier - tax payers who contribute to society - mean people for not tipping?" Yes

"Be careful how you judge people, and certainly if you judge them by how they spend their money. If someone gives a proportion of their earnings to deserving charities, but doesn't generally tip, it seems shallow of you to deem them mean." - in my personal experience this is rarely if ever the case. I would certainly refuse to ever go to a restaurant with someone who refused to tip. It would be unlikely that I would continue a friendship. Of all personal failings I find meaness a difficult one to overlook.

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