to ask for a witty retort to interfering busybody?

[cocoachannel]

In a cafe this morning with my tiny DD (17 days old) and a friend. DD finished feeding and for some reason got very upset. I checked her nappy was okay, she was burped, I offered her my breast again but she wouldn't settle. So far she has been a very calm baby so I must admit I was at a bit of a loss. Just as I was about to admit defeat and get her home a woman came over and told me my baby was clearly distressed and obviously hungry and that I shouldn't have her in the bright lights of the cafe.

I wish I'd thought of something to say to her. As it was I managed to wait until she'd left (giving me a look that implied I should be reported for being an unfit mother) and burst into tears...

Was she right to interfere if she thought my baby was in distress, and am I just being an oversensitive first time Mum? AIBU to wonder what I could have retorted with?

Fuck off?

Sorry, that's not witty at all...

My DH's very suggestion!

how about "f@@k off I am dealing with it"

Seriously, don't give it a second thought. Some folk just feel the need to comment. Ignore.

Smile and say

"it's always easier to raise other people's children isn't it!"

"No, I think she is just objecting to your presence"

'Don't worry, she just takes aversion to some people. She'll be ok once you've left'?

Or what backwardpossum said...

I'm sorry, can you take your halitosis away from my baby. She's only just fed and I'd hate for her to be sick all over your cheap shoes.

x-posted with thistle!

Thanks- just came as a bit of a shock that people actually come over and interfere like that.

Great suggestions. I feel much better.

Ohhh loving CradleCrap's suggestion, will be using that one!

Were you on your own? Hats off to you, I was a snivellibg wreck at 17 days for with first and wouldn't have gone near a cafe!!

Look at her, look at the baby, look back, bewildered, and say "A baby? I thought it was a kitten! Well, that explains A Lot."

To DD: "Is the nasty lady frightening you, darling?"

I was with a friend from antenatal class compo. I'm a snivelling wreck who needed coffee and cake..!

I would have said "ooops, silly me, I forgot her ray bans today"...

I still applaud your bravery

"You appear to have mistaken me for someone who gives a shit what you think". Worked for me on numerous occasions.

X post with LeQueen!

"yes it's a shame really, she's obviously missing her mum" Whilst saying it flop your breast out in an obvious manner and latch your baby on.

Give a very puzzled look and say "Sorry...are you human?"

"Are you this rude to everyone or do you wait for vulnerable looking victims? If so, you've rather misjudged me so bugger off you silly old bat."