to really really dislike my friend's son?

[extremepie]

I feel really guilty about this but I really can't stand my friend's son.
He is 10 going on 13, has a massive attitude and is just a generally very unpleasent person.
Part of me feels bad for disliking him because he's just a child and has not had the greatest of childhoods, but the other part of me says that is no excuse for acting like a knob most of the time!
I can't find a single redeeming quality in him, and he treats my kids like dirt which makes me even more angry and I find that when one of my kids is upset and he is in the house I automatically assume that he is responsible.
Am I a bad person for thinking this?
Just a few examples of his behaviour:

Picking up my then 3 year old and performing wrestling moves on him when repeatedly asked not to,
Writing on a piece of paper a 'letter' from 'santa' addressed to him assuring him that my sons would not be allowed any presents at Christmas,
Stealing my sons' Easter eggs and eating them,
Eating food in front of my kids that I've said they couldn't have,
Stealing money from my penny jar,
Telling my son to get out of bed and go downstairs so he would get into trouble,
Telling my son he would hold him down in bed until he went to sleep..

..I could go on!

Am I just being overly-sensitive because its my babies involved or is he really a selfish, inconsiderate, nasty little brat?

Extreme, he can sleep in the living room - he can share with his dad. It's a much better solution than him sleeping in the same room as your three year old, surely, and could be a good stop-gap solution to your problem until they move out. It might also make the dad accelerate his plans to move.

Tell the dad how tricky things are, suggest son moves in with him while he sorts out the next place, and ask when he thinks that will be. Much better to be straight.

He wouldn't be allowed to stay in my house if this is the way he was going to treat my children. The thing that lead to you being investigated by SS would be the final straw. I can't believe you haven't told the dad to go because you simply cannot have the son around your children and family.

This boy clearly has problems and your children are the ones that are suffering. Threatening your DS with holding him down until he sleeps.

This child would not be allowed anywhere near mine, let alone staying in the same house. Your children have a right to feel safe in their own home.

YANBU for disliking this child at all.

My God the boy needs to be in with his Dad! Why should your 3 year old suffer??

Dont wait for the 2 weeks to be up, then it will be another 2, 3, 4 weeks later when they move out.

Sit the Dad down, have an adult conversation about him moving out. What plans has he made, where has he looked. Has he spoken to LA, has he been to CAB. The longer this goes on the less inclined he will be to move out.

If you are on HB and he is working but not "officially here" then you are also going to have to be very careful. Because you don't know how vindictive he is/will be when you deliver the news.

It also makes it hard to go to the council for help as you are choosing to be over crowded and have not informed them you have 2 non dependants there - which you should have done if claiming.

Clearly you need to resolve this asap - I'm sure when I rented a house I had to tell my landlord exactly how many adults were living there, and in fact one of the terms of the lease related to there not being any adults there other than in my immediate family.

Frankly the last thing you want is for this situation to cause problems with your landlord or for him to give you notice!

If the father is unable to make housing arrangements for himself and his son, son should live with his mother. You need to give friend a fixed, unchangeable, short time limit to move out.

Is he paying any rent? If not, then he should by now have money saved to rent somewhere else. Of course if he is paying you, this could be classed as subletting, and again cause problems with your landlord, or with any means tested benefits you may receive.

I really do think leaving aside the many issues wuth the son, that you need in any event to get this sorted out and friend into his own house asap.

You need to keep your son with you at all times! Do you want him to ask you when he is older "Why did you not protect me mummy?"

Get out of there or if the guy is not even named on the tenancy tell him to get lost! Dangerous situation for both of you.
In a house with a strange man and mad son!

Not to mention you are committing benefit fraud.

I think mad son is a bit OTT tbh.

While I don't condone what he is doing the OP has already said he has had a difficult upbringing add to that his parents split, him not knowing whether he is coming or going. A new family moving into HIS home while his mum moves out but he and dad stay.
I can only imagine how confusing this is for one so young.

As for the holding down in bed, whats the bet it has been done to him on more than one occassion.

Personally I would be asking them to move asap not for any reason other than to give the boy a bit of stability and structure.

Also as I said you should have volunteered the information to the DSS because you are committing benefit fraud and you will be the one who gets caught not the dad of this boy.

This is part of my problem, the landlord knows the other people are living here as he is friend's with our friend (confusing?).
Our friend does not pay any rent or bills (gas/electric/food, etc.) and doesn't give us any money for food, as the whole point was he was supposed to be saving up to move out!
If I told the council he was living here his income would be counted as our income even though it isn't so yeah, not a great situation but, again, didn't have a lot of options at the time.

Finally our house mates will be leaving at the end of the week, and I get my house back!

Yay!