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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Banned from Starbucks

360 replies

Monicachoux · 15/03/2011 21:44

I am part of a group of new mothers who used to meet a local Birmingham Starbucks for a coffee and chat once a week. The Starbucks is located within a hotel, and both businesses share a lounge area big enough for us, our babies and baby equipment.
We have (after about 6 meets) been told we are not welcome to meet there anymore as the "venue has been booked for corporate seminars and events on the days you meet, and this will be taking place for the next few months".
Starbucks boasts a sign stating "Sit and relax in our lounge area at the back", yet, we are no longer welcome to relax here with our babies anymore... Numbers for our group range from about 4 or 5 mums with their babies up to about 7 or 8 (so we're hardly an army) and each of us consumed drinks and snacks from the coffee shop and hotel when we went there... Are we being unreasonable by expecting to be treated like any other Starbucks customer in spite of (the horror!) having babies? I have to say that I for one was quite shocked when they (very nicely) informed us we couldn't meet there anymore- this is DEFINITELY NOT a baby-friendly establishment

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 16/03/2011 12:27

Abs, well that is the question (which the OP hasn't returned to answer), however she says "Are we being unreasonable by expecting to be treated like any other Starbucks customer", so without further details I take that to mean the hotel will still be open to the public

LessNarkyPuffin · 16/03/2011 12:28

Soupdragon there is something a little sparkly about you.

supersewer · 16/03/2011 12:29

It's a coffee shop not a toddler group!!!
get over yourself
By booting out an army of mum's, baby's, toddlers and buggies this doesn't make them unfriendly to children.
I'm sure if 1 or 2 mum's fancy a coffee they are more than obliging - but turn up with a coach load they have a right to be p'd off.

LessNarkyPuffin · 16/03/2011 12:30

They can't tell every possible customer because they don't know who will turn up

They are telling the OP because she and her friends turn up at regular times on regular days they know will be booked.

LessNarkyPuffin · 16/03/2011 12:32

There may be enough room for one mother or one pensioner or one unicyclist. There won't be enough for a group.

bupcakesandcunting · 16/03/2011 12:32

I don't think it's a question of mums and babies being less important. I think it's an issue of spsce/time. I would feel really awkward if I were in a group of 6-8 mums with pushchairs and we were in this kind of setting. I'd feel like we were monopolising space.

I went to a cafe with two friends with pushchairs yesterday and my DS who is not in a pushchair. Even with just two pushchairs, we managed to take up seating for 6 people even though on three of us were eating. I felt very Blush Plus, we took a million times longer because of baby feeds/taking longer to consume food because of babies crying etc etc. If there were 6 or more of us, it would have been a bleedin' nightmare! I just don't think that smallish cafes/coffee shops are the best setting for mummies en masse. I am not saying that large groups of mothers and babies should be confined to soft play BUT you have to think about where is best to have your meet ups. Just because you happen to lurrrve Starbucks, it doesn't mean it's suitable for every occasion.

TandB · 16/03/2011 12:33

Highly, highly entertained by the completely different approach on NM! Thanks for the link.

Shock! Horror! Go the the press!

And absolutely loving the random accusation of racism because you could swap "black people" for "babies" and the sentiment would be the same.

Do you think we could organise a rescue mission for the poor, maligned "baby hating racist" and drag her over here?

Other favourite comment "but we don't mind that, do we Netmums?" re: differing opinions.

Laquitar · 16/03/2011 12:33

TheBossofMe 'would you honesty say that a hotel lobby is a good place to meet for a mums group'?

Yes. It was a hotel lobby with bussiness meetings. Of course it is suitable for babies. Think of the educational value. Early exposure to bussiness lingo and participation in meetings. Better than Mum and Baby places. Some parents have standards and aspiration. Wink

Rabat · 16/03/2011 12:35

I guess they have simply worked out that you are bad for business. Maybe other customers, more lucrative, customers have complained/stopped coming in when they see you all in there?

If I was out on a day off with DH and I saw a big bunch of mothers and babies/toddlers in a coffee shop I would keep walking to the next one quite frankly.

StealthPolarBear · 16/03/2011 12:37

"They can't tell every possible customer because they don't know who will turn up"

So, far from being rewarded for being regular customers, they are being told they aren't welcome!

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 16/03/2011 12:38

I dunno, mumsnet and netmums, t'is like two different planets.

Still like their smilies tho Wink

bupcakesandcunting · 16/03/2011 12:39

Another way of looking at it is this; if the OP's mummy's meeting was so profitable, Starbucks wouldn't be booting them out. They obviously aren't much of a money-spinner (read: one coffee per mummy/one cookie between 60 kids/stay for 5 hours) or else they would be welcome.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 16/03/2011 12:40

I think it was rather good of the Starbucks people to give them prior warning. Rather irritating to have rocked up only to find the lounge was booked up.

Having said that, the righteous indignation hints that possibly the OP and her friends are a complete PITA. In which case it's possible that the bookings are a work of fiction and they've asked you to not to come back because you're all a PITA, not because you have babies.

Ho hum.

Either way, YABU.

StealthPolarBear · 16/03/2011 12:40

I suppose this brings up a need to establish a hierarchy of worthy customers for all such establishments, people can be bumped off the bottom to make way for people at the top

  1. Business people, especially on expenses
  2. Other business people
  3. Middle aged couples and small groups of middle aged adults
  4. Young couples and small groups of young adults
  5. Families with children over the age of 6
  6. Students
  7. The elderly
  8. The homeless
  9. Families with young children
Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 16/03/2011 12:40

'I think that the coffee shops were hoping for the well-heeled, well-dressed, well-off mothers with model-beautiful, well behaved children as a clientele. What they've got is not that and they're revising their business model.'
Having worked in a 'posh' restaurant, where the former are the regular clientele, I have to tell you, the latter is a myth!
A good rule of thumb is, the more well heeled the mother is, the more of a little shit her kid will be, and the less she will care! Food up the walls, running around screaming, tantrums... you name it, we saw them all!
Just because they are called Tarquin and Jemima and wear Monsoon, doesnt mean they are better than any other kids!

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 16/03/2011 12:43

We used to meet up in a Slug and Lettuce type place. Far more room that your average Starbucks.. And significantly, they served Wine

I'd recommend it.

thumbwitch · 16/03/2011 12:43

Didja notice though, that the OP did her NM post later than her MN one? there is an extra comment at the bottom - she went past their usual meeting place at the time they would have normally been there and it was "like a ghost town, no business people" (ok paraphrasing cos I don't want to go back there, don't make me!)

That makes it worse, d'ya see?

TandB · 16/03/2011 12:44

[shoves Thumbwitch kicking and screaming over to NM to check properly]

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 16/03/2011 12:45

The only hierarchy I see SPB is:

  1. Booked the room.
  2. Not booked the room.
expatinscotland · 16/03/2011 12:45

Just for you, www.soest.hawaii.edu/expeditions/mariana/images/annsoupy/kids-easter%20soupy%20closeup.jpgSoupy.

:o

Does no one's pushchair fucking fold down these days?

What a thought, eh, you fold your pushchair so it doesn't take up so much space.

PurveyorOfWoo · 16/03/2011 12:46

I smell a journo

Ormirian · 16/03/2011 12:47

The place is booked. Why is that such a big deal?

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 16/03/2011 12:47

thumbwitch - I guess that's either because they were indeed lying (because the OP and her posse are a PITA not because they have babies), or because the conference delegates were in another room enduring a presentation.

I need to go over to NM for a look, don't I....

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 16/03/2011 12:48

STB - you've missed of the OP's catergory........

the self created mums and babies group..........

Every wondered why you don't really find M&T groups in cafes....................Wink

expatinscotland · 16/03/2011 12:48

Of course, booking the room probably means a hire charge . . .