To think maybe DH had told me that the MIL had invited herself up to stay?

[lovecheese]

Absolutely fucking livid, just had her on the phone prattling on about fucking knitting measurements and then she casually asks it is ok to come up when we said, isn't it? I dont like the woman, can't stand her fussiness and selfishness and livid that he "Forgot to mention it". Just wanted to vent, thanks for listening.

I bet he 'forgot' to mention it, judging by how you feel about her.

Is he close to her and wants her to visit?

Or did he not feel able to say no, and then was too scared to tell you?

Hope she's not staying too long.

Annoying that he "forgot", but hardly surprising if he knows how much you dislike her. She's his mum, just grit your teeth, smile and hope its a short visit!

(I really hope my DS doesn't marry someone who hates me! )

Why can't he have his mum to stay? have you got kids?

Maybe they should have some quality Mother and Son bonding time and you could take yourself off for a few days! YANBU he should have talked to you first before inviting her, let alone forgetting to tell you too.

Oooo you're good at this mrsc, I like your thinking

Invite your own mum too, and they can bond. :)

So she confirmed with you that it's ok for her to come?

And the knitting measurements? I presume she's knitting stuff for your kids or someone else in your family?

She sounds like an absolute nightmare.

It is his mum, I think its tough if you dont like her - your OH LOVES her, get over yourself

Can't wait for my boys to get married as it seems to mean that I will never be able to visit them or show any interest in them at all.

Dear God I hope I don't end up with a DIL like some of the people on here

YANBU, no body should have to put up with someone staying in their home that they can't stand. If dh wants to spend time with her, he can stay at her house. And take the kids. Win win situation!

god you sound vile OP

no wonder husband is frightened to death of telling you he wants his mum to visit

Your poor DH, his own Mum not even made welcome in his home.

It fills me with horror that one day a woman might marry my son who feels like this about me, purely because I had the temerity to give birth to him.

what alibaba said

hopefully if the OP has a son, his wife will treat her pretty appallingly too

Thanks for replies. Firstly he knows how much she winds me up but is too scared to be honest with her because her husband left her 23 years ago and she still has a huge chip on her shoulder, even though she has re-married; Secondly he leaves me to entertain her whilst he is at work and over the weekend will fuck-off upstairs; next, no they are not very close because of my first point, he doesn't know how to act around her almost, lastly my mum died many years ago so mutual bonding not an option.

Your problem is with your DH and not your MIL.

like I said, sounds vile

THe OP's MIL hasn't "invited herself", DH has agreed without speaking to OP.

DH is the problem.

Maybe he 'doesn't want to be honest with her' because it's needlessly hurtful? Nothing wrong with entertaining your other halfs parents, marriage does involve thia and maybe he goes upstairs so that you can try and develop a relationship with her? I feel sorry for both of them - yes YABU

Wot Crackfox said. Both times.

Sympathise with impossible MILs (mine's not exactly easy; I have the best intentions but she has a massive martyr complex and no interest in me or my children).

However, I try. I am regularly depressed to the point of tears reading some of the anti-MIL stuff on here, there does seem to be a real minority who think a mother loses all role in her beloved son's life the second he finds a partner. And OF COURSE she mustn't go anywhere near the GC.

I hate the fact that I was, briefly, really upset to find out much-wanted (and last) DC2 was a DS2. It's a real worry that I'll end up treated as an interloper and kept out of both my son's lives once they're coupled up.

For the record, I plan to be an amazing MIL - taking notes from MN now.

I think we need a bit more info OP - why is she so bad? Why is it such a trial to have her there?

I love the anonymity of mumsnet, and I am certainly not going to start defending myself against people who I do not know; suffice to say in response to the accusations of being "vile" I could make a long list here of all the catty little remarks, patronising comments and, Oh yes, swearing at my DD last time we were at their house (never again) because she spilt a drop of juice, but frankly what is the point.

You're and evil, evil person for not wanting to go along with what your DH has arranged for you OP.

Honestly, fancy not wanting to have someone you're not keen on in your own home??

Especially if she's faaamily.

You should get on with being a dutiful DIL like they were in days of yore.

Perhaps you could make an effort and learn to knit, then you could knit and chat whilst waiting for the man of the house to get back to the homestead after his hard days hunting.

stealth aibu

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