To think maybe DH had told me that the MIL had invited herself up to stay?

[lovecheese]

Absolutely fucking livid, just had her on the phone prattling on about fucking knitting measurements and then she casually asks it is ok to come up when we said, isn't it? I dont like the woman, can't stand her fussiness and selfishness and livid that he "Forgot to mention it". Just wanted to vent, thanks for listening.

I love my mil. Really. Just some encouragement for all us mothers of sons. :)

ANOTHER dripfeed. Jeez.

But on general principles, yes you SHOULD have your MIL round if you're 'not keen' on her, because she contributed half of your chosen life partner's genes and is the reason he's alive for you to moan about on MN

Treating DH's family as optional extras because they're not yours is horrible behaviour. Assuming they're rational human beings, of course.

just make plans to go out alot and leave her in her sons hands...he cant disappear upstairs if you are not around

It's not like you are stopping him going to her house, right? It's your home too, you have an equal say on who passes its threshold.

Of course they are optional extras for the OP. Your own family are optional extras if you want them to be. As long as she doesn't prevent him having a relationship with them she's done nothing wrong.

"Secondly he leaves me to entertain her whilst he is at work and over the weekend will fuck-off upstairs"

this wouldd really fuck me off. no way would I invite my mum over and do this to DH.

insist he takes time off work.

lovecheese, I understand your need to rant & if you don't like your MIL if she is patronising to you .etc that's fine - but it is important to remember that your DH obviously loves her and wants her around.

I agree with others who have said DH probably should have checked this with you first out of courtesy but tbh you don't sound like the most approachable person & he probably knew what your response would be...

Have you considered where DH is in all of this? I imagine he will be feeling pretty damn stuck in the middle - neither fair nor a nice situation.

You should be grown up enough to be civil at least, for DH & DC's sakes?

Now why can't he just take her to work with him?

My mil is great and my dc's adore her and my pil. Yes they wind me up sometimes because they're human. I probably annoy them too sometimes.

Just wanted to vent in a small way.

Fair point, rina. A better way of putting it would have been 'somehow lesser than your own parents just because they're not yours'.

Again, assuming not poisonous mad bastards etc.