DH having a vasectomy at 27?

[BarbieLovesKen]

Im 29 weeks pregnant with number 3, we're fairly sure that our family is now complete.

I probably would have considered a possible fourth in a few years, if DH really wanted it but being honest, I really, really struggle with being pregnant and the thoughts of another pregnancy really fills me with dread. I dont think I could bear to this again (despite being very aware how lucky I am). Also, DH isnt looking for a fourth , he says he feels very happy with our lot.

I can imagine most of you are thinking Im being premature considering number 3 isnt yet here but am pretty sure our family will be perfect for us after this ones arrival. We adore our babies but arent mad about the actual baby stage - love it when they are over 2 and can chat and interact more and are well.. easier - thats why we planned dc2 and 3 so close together - to get it over with so we could start to really enjoy them together.

We adore our dc (obviously) but want time to enjoy them properly. Any more additions to our house would significantly cut down on the time and attention we can give each child. Im thinking ahead here to the teen years (despite ours being just 5 and 1 at the minute) and want to give them alot of individual time.

Financially, we're working on it, we're ok compared to many and are young still. We're both working full time and Im studying for my degree - we both are fairly ambitious and have achievable career plans that should make us financially comfortable in a couple of years - financially comfortable for a family of 5 that is - in respect to the life we want for our children - some travel/ college fees etc... another would cause us to struggle.

In ways 4 sounds like a lovely rounded number but it goes against so many other practical things for us as a family and would affect our (current) dc. We've changed the car to a scenic to comfortably fit 3 car seats but another would mean we'd need a people carrier. We have a four bed house - we want each one to have their own bedroom - a little bit of privacy but with 4 children, 2 would have to share.

The cost of another one in childcare for another 5 years would cripple us! we're thinking that now, we'll be free from that horrible expense in roughly 4 years.

This came up recently when chatting some family members and DH said he was getting the "snip". The response was one of complete and we were told (by everyone there) that we were absolutely insane to consider doing this when we were our age (25 and 27).

I had dd at 20, ds at 24 and this one (hopefully) will arrive when Im 25. We've spent alot of our 20s having babies, we dont intend to spend our 30s doing it to.

I have to admit it did make me think though. As so many times I've though I've known it all and I look back now and - some things age can only teach you. Would it be insane to do something so permanent this young?

Would love to hear opinions. Should age be a deciding factor? the group we spoke to (the majority) seemed to think sterilisation shouldnt be considered before age 40.

I was quite surprised to be told by the contraceptive nurse that if I could persuade the relevant people that I was 100% sure that I don't want kids that I could get sterilised despite being in my 20s. I'd be tempted if I wasn't terrified of the thought of surgery. I'm also the contrary type so I'd probably decide I did want kids all of a sudden just because I couldn't have them.

I can't believe that itsjustafleshwound was arguing that the OP should get sterilised instead saying that it's a joint responsibility. At the moment getting a vasectomy is the only way a man can actually take responsibility for contraception other than using condoms. It's always the woman who has mess her system up with hormones by taking a pill every day, having a bit of plastic stuck in her arm or getting an injection every three months, that or get a foreign object put in your uterus which isn't without it's complications either. Unless the woman is having a c section anyway then it's a much easier and safer procedure for the man to be sterilised. Vasectomies are also more reversible than female sterilisation and even if a reversal fails it's far easier to get sperm straight from a man's testicles than it is to get eggs straight from an ovary.

I think that if a CS is at all likely then the note to sterilise needs to be recorded. This isnt one of those things where you can pull down the green sheet and say 'while you are there, can you just...'.

The surgeon will have needed to get the right Haines manuals out before the off.

I was sterilised at 32, already had two. But, if I could have had another at 40 I would have if I was in a stable relationship.

I'm now 46 and going through the change so the choice for me has now gone.

Dh has just had a vasectomy and in the literature given to him after the operation it stated that there is no link between having a vasectomy and testicular cancer.

OP, we are in the same position as you, I am 39 weeks with DC3, but we are a little older, I am 30 and DH is 33. DH had it done 6 weeks ago, and we have no regrets, we did not plan DC3 and while he will be loved and welcomed we do not want any more!

I have heard it is hard to get a referral for a man under 30, but if your DH is 29 hopefully you will not have to wait long. But remember it takes 6 months before it works!

I was 27 and 28 when I had my 2DC's. I wanted to get sterilised ASAP after the kids because, although I had 2 great pregnancies and births, I can't bear the thought of having another. I was sterilised at 30 and although there's a 1 in 200 chance of getting pg again, I have gone on the pill to limit those chances even more (my back pain is partially hormonal too so the pill help that).

is he absolutely sure he doesn't want anymore? and are you sure you won't resent not being able to have anymore in few years time?
DH had a vasectomy (aged 35) when DD was 3 months. I would have loved another but he was adamant :(. I sometimes get insanely angry and resentful about it (usually around ovulation) but am just glad that as the one not wanting any more he took responsibility for birth control.

Your reasons seem sound, go for it.

Dh had a vasectomy at 32, it was fine.

There is possibly a weak link to prostate cancer and a possible but inconsistent in trials link to testicular cancer www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/vasectomy
for US info on this.
www.bmj.com/content/309/6950/295.abstract
is a link to a trial that showed no evidence of an increase in either.
On the other hand we do know that being on the combined pill slightly increases the risk of breast cancer, but women still take it www.cancerhelp.org.uk/about-cancer/cancer-questions/the-contraceptive-pill-and-cancer-risk

Dh had the snip at age 30, was his idea. There were no problems at all. If for some reason you do want more children, you could adopt a child, there are so many children out there who need someone to love and care for them. It sounds to me that you both are happy to have 3 children.

I am getting Essure done next week... far easier, faster and less risky procedure than a vasectomy. Local anesthetic only, procedure is over in 20 min, you walk out, and you only need to come back 3 months after to make sure the tubes are occluded.

Failure rate is lower than tubal ligation.

If anyone wants details, I am happy to share my experience, just PM me :)