To be so hurt by this?

[fedupbeingafool]

I feel that i've been treated horribly by a friend recently and would really appreciate your opinions. This is probably going to be a long one so please bear with me.

Basically I met my dp 5 years ago on a weekend away that I was dragged on by a friend of a friend. We clicked straight away and started a relationship. Now on the same weekend my best friend, lets call her 'A', got quite close to my dp's brother, 'B'. The problem I had was that he was engaged at the time so it just didn't sit right with me. They carried on seeing each other, mainly just for sex, and it started to cause a lot of problems. They seemed to think they could stay at our house and have noisy sex all night, i'm not a prude or anything but when I had to go to family do's and sit with B's fiancee it just made me feel awkward. It also caused problems in my own relationship as dp and I started keeping secrets from one another concerning A and B. We were stuck in the middle, him trying to be loyal to his brother and me to my friend. It eventually became too much and I told A that we wanted nothing to do with it anymore but I thought what she was doing was unfair to everyone concerned.
Over the years B has made a fool of A countless times. Promising her the world, saying he loved her but it just wasn't the right time to leave his fiancee but when he did he couldn't wait to be with her properly. 2 years ago B finally split from his fiancee but he loved the single life and playing the field with loads of women and didn't even tell A he was single again. He eventually started a relationship with another woman and A was gutted, totally heartbroken. When she wised up she realised how much trouble she had caused for dp and I and apologised profusely. She said she had been blinded by love for B and had believed all his lies but she was sorry now and realised what a fool she had been. She picked up her life and was doing great, she finally realised that giving a man all the sex he wants doesn't make him love or respect you.
So fast forward another few months and B splits from the new woman. Straight away he's sniffing around A again as he had her down as easy sex but she told him where to go and that she wasn't interested. I was so proud of her! B was disgusted, he's not used to women saying no, so he carried on playing the field.
Just before Christmas I noticed A and B were now friends on Facebook. I asked her about it and she said he'd sent her a message and they had got talking but they were only friends, she'd never go there again. That was ok but then she turned up at my door 3 weeks ago and told me she was now in a relationship with B. I was gobsmacked and got quite annoyed, couldn't believe she had fell for his bullshit again. She assured me it was love and that I don't know the 'real' B but he's really lovely. Eh, I do know the real B and he would say anything to a woman to get his way. He's a charmer and knows the right things to say to a woman to make them feel secure and wanted. I told A I didn't think we could be friends any more but she begged and begged so I gave in.
But here's the thing that gets me. She has now put some 'rules' to our friendship. Basically we're still supposed to be best friends but i'm not allowed talk to her about my dp and she won't talk about B. Is it just me or is that not what friends do?
She left then and I sat and thought about it and realised I can't do that. She was my best friend for 13 years but now i'm not allowed talk about one of the most important parts of my life, my dp.
We were at a family party this week end and of course A and B were there. I just stayed away from them, i'm really too hurt to talk to her and at the end of the day what have we got to talk about anymore with her new rules. But now dp is on my back and we've just had a big bust up over it. He said at the end of the day B is his brother and we're going to have to socialise with them quite often. But I can't help how I feel, I'm grieving for my lost friendship but he doesn't see it like that. AIBU in never wanting to speak to her again?

If you got this far thank you so much

You're not being unreasonable, fedupbeingafool. The only reason why your 'friend' has imposed this rule on you is that she doesn't like what she hears from you regarding your BIL and conversely doesn't want to hear about your relationship as she feels that you're judging hers. She's trying to put you on an equal footing, but it isn't. She can't pretend with you and that's what's irking her.

Deep down she knows that her relationship is going nowhere. She probably feels a bit foolish for having involved you in the first place and there's no place she can go with that now as you already know all that there is and whatever happens, you have your opinions of your BIL and what he did, and they aren't going to change.

I'd write the friendship off, I think. At least until your friend sees sense and starts treating you normally as a friend would - or forever if you feel liike it.

Grieve for your friendship lost, of course, but remember that it isn't what it was and what it currently is, you don't want. Chin up.

Hi everyone, thought I would update this thread.
I found out last week that my ex best friend and bil have split up. Seemingly he went all cold on her about a month ago and stopped ringing and texting her and started making excuses not to meet up. A mutual friend told me that she's in total shock over this and doesn't know where it came from. I've discovered though that he's back with the ex and was seemingly seeing her behind my 'friend's' back. She doesn't know anything about this though.
I'm bloody raging that he would do this to her. I've lost my best friend over his womanising ways. I think she thinks that i'm gloating over it too!!
Don't know why i'm writing this, just had to get it out :(

Oh bless you. :(
I've just read the thread, didn't realise it was an old one until I read your update. I understand you're upset on her behalf, but it wasn't just his fault you lost your best friend, it was hers as well. She sounds like a user really she shagged your ex repeatedly, she used your house as a shagging stop, she lied to you when it suited her. And while he did what it sounds like he does all the time,she was happy to discard you at the drop of a hat with all her silly ground rules about not talking about your own relationship.

Thanks Clytaemnestra. I know it was her fault too but I just feel so bad for her now. I knew all along that this is what he would do but she wouldn't listen to me. I was told that he's still texting and ringing her in the middle of the night when he's drunk as if he's trying to keep her for backup but she hasn't a clue he's back with the ex. It's such a mess :(

Dont believe a word of this. She is your "best mate" but she had sex with the father of your child?. Surely the easiest way to end all of this is to tell her bil is back with ex?(yeah thats karma biatch)

Not sure what it is you don't believe pink4ever . Yeah, part of me is thinking 'karma' and she got what she deserved. Was it worth it for her chosing a womanising jerk over a lifelong friendship. But the other part of me feels bad for her. He had her completely sucked in and she really thought he was 'the one'. I know what she's like and probably had a romantic fairytale in her head picturing wedding, kids, etc.
Maybe I should tell her because knowing him he's just keeping her sweet on the side incase it doesn't work out with the ex. But if I do tell her she'll probably think i'm doing it just to get one up on her or to have a laugh at her expense!