Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Oh the shame! I'm a big old judgypants wearing judger

85 replies

Honeydragon · 14/03/2011 20:38

...my inner Mumsnet has failed me. At DDs toddler group, one toddler has pierced ears. I've done enough threads to know all the "get your big nose out" point of views.

However the dd is always wearing sleeper hoops, quite large ones. I keep thinking "tch, that's an accident waiting to happen".

Well now it has.

Child was messing around under the floaty parachute, when the Mums and dc's were meant to be waving it and started screaming blue murder. Mum was nowhere to be seen. Went in found her, Mum was at other side of room trying to stop other child escaping, so fair enough. Passed her over to Mum who asked what happened. I explained that she had run under parachute and got her ear caught. Mum went "really? is that all?".

The Mum refastened earring, cue more screaming and then wondered off. I am hoping she hadn't heard me properly re the "really" comment as she didn't appear to be being rude, but my face STIll hurts from holding a smile when all my facial muscles were attempting to form the cats arse.

OP posts:
Original poster
Honeydragon · 15/03/2011 12:54

Oi .... She can stick as many holes in her baby wherever she wants, but I still think if her dd was wearing studs not big hoops she wouldn't have ended up with a very sore ear.

Since when did cultural choices mean forgoing common sense? I have pierced ears but I am not likely to borrow a pair off Pat Butcher and then stick my head in a passing vortex am I? On account it would be silly and hurt. A toddler would stick their head on, sometimes twice because that is what they do. Why make learning basic safety any harder for them?

OP posts:
Original poster
Honeydragon · 15/03/2011 12:57

Now someone help me! I am in danger of drowning in my own Judgypants!

OP posts:
MadamDeathstare · 15/03/2011 12:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JellyBellies · 15/03/2011 13:04

I agree that hoops were not the best option Grin wouldn't put them on my own DD (if I have one)

But i don't think that poor woman deserved all the judgyness and name calling on here. Yes it was a sore ear, I got them myself as a child (while wearing studs). Just made me a little more aware - still loved my earrings :)

clams · 15/03/2011 13:09

Pierced earrings on children = cruel and common. Why not get a tattoo for the little terror and pull him/her out of school whilst you're at it? As for the mascara incident earlier? Stop putting mascara on your children and get back to your Katie Price novels! Blimey.

JellyBellies · 15/03/2011 13:10

Usually the only time small children have hoop earrings on is when they are being dressed for a wedding or some other occasion. Rest of the time is is studs.

Maybe the mother didn't get around to changing them back?

Morloth · 15/03/2011 13:20

So many people seem to think if you just say 'well its cultural/religious' then that makes everything entirely sensible and just fine to do.

It doesn't, some things are stupid, the culture/colour/religion of the person doing it doesn't actually effect the stupidity level of the action.

I think it is stupid to put hoops in the ears of toddlers, I don't care if there is something I do that they think is stupid, it doesn't change the way soft tissue tears when a piece of metal is dragged through it.

ragged · 15/03/2011 13:24

I do NOT want to attend any toddler playgroup (by which I mean regular drop-in social event where carer stays with child) that has "policies" about what the children are allowed to wear or jewellery they may have.

Is nobody else horrified at that suggestion??? Shock :(

Morloth · 15/03/2011 13:27

No, sounds sensible to not allow dangly jewellery on children.

Original poster
Honeydragon · 15/03/2011 13:28

JellyBellies I considered that but I've never seen her in anything different and the group is for 2 and under so it's not her choice to put hoops in.

OP posts:
Original poster
Honeydragon · 15/03/2011 13:33

ragged

I would be horrified but when ds was tiny I remeber vividly the bum clenching horror of watching a2 / 2.5 ish year old continually twist on her ankles as her mum had let her turn up in plastic dress up heels to go on climbing frames etc. When the organisers suggested she took them off her mother replied "eurgh no! I don't know who else has walked on this floor barefoot"

So sometimes I think a sign on the door to rule out stupidity isn't always a bad thing - which is what Tumble tots adapted afterward. Saying entry on if wearing trainers or flat soft shoes.

OP posts:
ragged · 15/03/2011 13:36

Oh a verbal suggestion is fine, no issue there when you spot a problem. But to have a "policy"... cringe cringe cringe.

bringonthegoat · 15/03/2011 13:37

Ragged - there would be no need for dress codes anywhere if people applied common sense to their decisions. Equally if people had some shame they wouldn't let their children out in make-up, kitten heels and chav hoops!

JellyBellies · 15/03/2011 13:38

I never said that it being cultural made it sensible, did I ? :)
My point was before you call some one daft and dumb it might be worth seeing it from her point of view.

For all we know, to that mother, hoops on her own child are probably NORMAL. She probably had them her self growing up and i am sure she doesn't have ripped ears :)

I do think it's all a little over the top with health and safety in the uk.
Next we might ban shoe laces fo children as these can trip them up. Any hats with the piece of elastic under the chin as that can squeeze the neck. Hmm

Miggsie · 15/03/2011 13:42

Oh this takes me back to school when I was playing netball and I had one of those "open" rings that was shaped like a snake, and I was goal defence, and goal attack ran in, she had nice little hooped earings, and yes...my open end ring caught in her earring as we both went for the ball. The blood and the screams were phenomenal.

I remember our PE teacher screaming "there is a no jewellery rule in PE you know!" while the other girl bled and I realised that my snake ring was actually all bent out of shape.

Activity and jewellery do not mix...long nails and jewellery are fine if you have a sedentary life style. This is not a life style a young child should have.

The fact the mother didn't seem to care was worse than the silly ear rings though.

JellyBellies · 15/03/2011 13:44

I just want to say, I don't agree with the hoops either.

However, I wouldn't be judgy about it because to me, earrings are normal. I wouldn't give it a second thought :)

I'm going to stop now, I really do have tO get back to work Grin

worraliberty · 15/03/2011 14:00

Not horrified at all ragged...it's common sense for the staff to want to minimise injuries that happen in their group, even if the parents are too stupid to minimise it themselves.

InPraiseOfBacchus · 15/03/2011 14:02

OK, I ADMIT IT! I CAN'T HOLD IT IN ANY LONGER.

I think ear piercings on a child under 7 look HORRIBLE!
I can't think of a good reason why a parent in this country would get this done, [but if there are any, do say so, I'm genuinely curious] other than "I want it!"

Physical pain on a non-consenting individual aside...

Disregarding my own opinion, I'd guess at the very least 70% of this country's population think this looks bad, and associate it in their minds with slovenly families. So even if I loved the idea, and wasn't concerned about the needless physical pain and infection risk, that alone would stop me.

Wow, I'm wearing my Judgey pants on my head today!

FellatioNelson · 15/03/2011 14:23

They look really nasty on small children. I won't even try to hold it - i'll just say it. Grin And yes, when you see a very small child with earrings you do think 'common uneducated parents.' Rightly or wrongly, you just do. And as a general rule you'd be spot on.

TheSkiingGardener · 15/03/2011 14:23

It suit you Bacchus Wink

And I agree.

Sidge · 15/03/2011 14:35

Every time these threads come up I say the same thing - proper jewellery and children Do Not Go Together.

Having worked in A&E and seen degloving injuries from caught bangles, torn lobes from earrings, choking incidents from caught necklaces and skin allergies from jewellery, I am of the firm belief that children should not wear jewellery.

TandB · 15/03/2011 15:14

OP, you are not wearing judgy pants. You are pant-less.

This isn't a piercing is good/bad issue - it is a common sense issue. You don't do stuff that is quite obviously going to place your child at high risk of harm. And when said harm occurs you don't go 'meh'.

I was at a swimming pool last week and I went to get a cup of tea from the machine while waiting for my friend. A lady who I have seen there several times and who generally seems pretty normal and sensible allowed her toddler (probably about 14 months) to come and squeeze between me and the drink machine, with his little face level with the opening into which the scalding hot water was pouring. I tried to move him away but he then stuck his hand in and tried to grab the cup so I smacked his hand away as fast as I could, scalding my own hand in the process. All she did was casually shout 'come away now DC' from her seat about 10 feet away. Whereupon he did it again so I was sucking my hand frantically while trying to fend him off. It took another attempt at scalding himself before she actually wandered over and removed him, without a single "sorry" or "are you OK?" or "thanks for doing my job for me". Even "don't grab my child's hand like that" would have shown a little concern for him!

I think some people have had their "common sense" and "normal reaction" chips removed from their brains.

Original poster
Honeydragon · 15/03/2011 17:52

Blush at realising pantless

< acquires figleaf>

OP posts:
SugarPasteFrog · 15/03/2011 19:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

giraffesCantDanceWhileSober · 15/03/2011 19:32

its on channel 3 now - wee girl with earing inury