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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

State school teachers sending their own children to private schools

269 replies

abitwobbly · 13/03/2011 21:12

AIBU to think we are not immoral or anti state and that we have just chosen the right school for our child??

OP posts:
LDNmummy · 13/03/2011 22:13

Each to their own, I will send mine to state school, but DP is a teacher and I am either going to teach or be some other type of academic, so our children will have a lot of home tutoring to help out where they might lag behind. DP and I both agree that state is much better for social skills, I attended private for half my life so know the difference.

CouldNeverHave3 · 13/03/2011 22:13

southeast - there are plenty of those.

I trained with a few. They stayed in the state long enough to get their golden handshake (shortage subject) and they were off at the first opportunity.

They we all privately educated themselves and all openly saw teaching in state as beneath them! Good enough to wait around for the 3K though.

madwomanintheattic · 13/03/2011 22:15

dd1's yr 2 teacher had to leave her job because she couldn't get her child into the school for yr r (out of catchment) and there was no before/ after care available in their catchment school.

she was told there would be no point in an appeal.

sometimes teachers can't get their kids into their own schools even if they want to.

often private is the only way to manage the working hours.

southeastastra · 13/03/2011 22:19

god how grim, what exactly is wrong is letting your children mix with their peers of all abilities?

when i went to school we all went together regardless of abilty/mobility/religion and we got on just fine

QuickLookBusy · 13/03/2011 22:20

I know someone who teaches in a private school but sends her Dc to state schools, so sometimes it happens the other way round.

southeastastra · 13/03/2011 22:21

is it a grammar school Wink

GregorSamsa · 13/03/2011 22:23

The headmaster at my ds's secondary school sends his own kids to the school, which definitely inspires confidence. And several teachers/TAs at my younger dc's primary school have kids in that school.

So I think if teachers do have their own kids in the school, that's a vote of confidence. But if they send their kids to different schools that doesn't mean they don't trust the school they teach in - there could be a whole host of reasons including location, catchment area, after-school care, particular needs, yadda yadda. I would only judge if they were saying negative or indiscreet things about the school they taught at. Otherwise i'd assume they had perfectly good reasons for choosing the school they did.

QuickLookBusy · 13/03/2011 22:53

No South it is just a normal compSmile. It is pretty good though.

A1980 · 13/03/2011 22:56

It's the way of the world to be honest.

You may well find that doctors pay privately for care unavailable to us mortals or push harder for tests, referrals for their own families whilst telling their patietns they don't need it.

It doesn't surprise me.

sharbie · 13/03/2011 22:58

other way round here tbh

mitochondria · 13/03/2011 23:02

I teach in an independent school. My children go to a state school.

Does it matter?

bibbitybobbityhat · 13/03/2011 23:04

I agree with you SEA on this issue, wholeheartedly.

sue52 · 13/03/2011 23:18

There are quite a few children at my daughter's state school whose parents teach in the independent sector. Some of her teachers also send their children to independent schools. As long as my DD is doing well, it does not bother me in the least.

mamatomany · 13/03/2011 23:20

DH's mother was a teacher and she had him in her school, he hated it she was so hard on him to show he wasn't getting special treatment, which he certainly was but not for the better.
He only started to perform at school when she met her new husband and buggered off to Spain.

flumposie · 13/03/2011 23:28

I currently teach in an outstanding school where most teachers who live in the catchment area send their children - I would too. However as a newly qualified teacher I taught in a school that was placed in special measures, I would not have sent her there, but my husband would!

EvilTwins · 13/03/2011 23:31

I think that it's everyone's choice, but personally, as a state school teacher, I would consider it pretty hypocritical of myself to send my chidren to a private school. I won't be putting my children in the school in which I teach, when it comes to it, as we don't live in the catchment. However, some staff do send their children to that school, and I agree that it inspires confidence from other parents. I used to teach in a really great comp in Warwickshire, and there were plenty of teachers' kids there - so many, in fact, that it simply wasn't an issue (in terms of bullying)

Yes, it's absolutely your choice where you choose to educate your children. DH earns much more than me, and we can afford private education. However, we have chosen not to. Part of the motivation for that decision is that I teach in the state sector, and feel therefore that I want my own children to be state educated.

happiestblonde · 13/03/2011 23:52

YANBU

I'm more irritated that bloody Dame Suzi Leather's kids went to private school.

randommoment · 14/03/2011 00:22

I think it depends on how big the school is. The 80 pupil primary my DDs went to, their class teacher decided not to send her own daughter to, even though it's got an Outstanding Ofsted, which she can take pride in being substantially responsible for. She felt it would be too complicated to be both parent and staff at the same time. Much easier to send her to another also Outstanding Ofsted nearby primary and have a purely parent-teacher relationship with staff there. But we're lucky, about five really good primarys within reasonable distance, all screaming for children to keep the LEA from merging/closing them down.
At Big School, quite a few parents are also teachers. This is a sparsely populated rural area, so catchment is as much as 25 miles diameter - not many other schools to choose from for a lot of us. One of them though is a top public school, with royalty as ex-students etc, and some of their staff are sending their children here. Partially because the public school doesn't take them until they're 13, but also because some of the public school children are frankly awful, and even an 80% discount on the fees doesn't make up for the attitude problems some rich kids have.

manicinsomniac · 14/03/2011 01:07

No, you are not being unreasonable.

Your choice of where and how to educate your children should not be affected by your job at all.

I work in an independent prep with an excellent state primary 1 minute down the road. Two of my married colleagues would quite have liked to send their daughter to the state school rather than have her at our school but, realistically, it wasn't an option. The state school finishes at 3.15 and has no after school club, we finish at 4.40 and often have evening duties that can go on until 6,8 or even 10pm. What else are they supposed to do?

sunnydelight · 14/03/2011 04:15

Your money, your choice. My kids go private and a lot of teachers' kids attend but some go to much posher schools Grin

Goblinchild · 14/03/2011 06:26

'it's telling isn't it though - i wouldn't trust a teacher that didn't have faith in her own school'

I worked in an area with third generation unemployed, a NEET rate after 16yo of almost 70%, free school meals and clothing coupons for the majority of the children, violence, gang warfare, drug abuse and domestic violence.
I had faith in my school and we did a very good job in the circumstances.
You think my children should have been part of that because of my desire to work on the front line?
Think on.

Georgimama · 14/03/2011 06:34

Hypocrisy is, for example, the stance of Harriet Harman or similar who professes outwardly to think private education is wrong and yet used it for her own precious darling. Being a teacher is a job not a bloody religious vocation. I would have no thoughts whatsoever about which school a teacher's children went to, state or private.

My SIL used to teach at Dagenham Priory (there look, I named it). She worked her socks off to help the children at that school. She emigrated rather than send her own children there. And I don't blame her one bit.

NinkyNonker · 14/03/2011 07:42

Never bothered me. Sometimes teachers don't live in catchment, can't afford to etc etc. It is also worth noting that on many threads on MN people often comment that it is hard to have teachers' children at their school.

HecateTheCrone · 14/03/2011 07:50

says more about the system than anything else, if people who work in it opt out for their own children.

it's like nhs doctors going private.

If you know what the system is like because you work in it - and you run away from it for yourself - I think those of us who are outside it should be worried about the system!

I don't judge the individuals. They have made a far more informed decision than anyone else could make.

trixie123 · 14/03/2011 09:08

not the system so much as the individual schools judging from the comments on here. Also, Is there a difference if its the head's kids maybe? A head has the real power to make a huge difference ina school, as one of 70 odd classroom teachers, not so much so if its not right for your kid, why would you send them there, same as any other parent. You don't automatically approve or like everything about the school you teach in.