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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that what I feed my kids is my own business?

85 replies

KidderminsterKate · 12/03/2011 17:22

Bit of background - there is this school mum who I have regularly talked with for a few years. Her daughter is in the same class as my twins and one of them is particulalry friendly with her. We also went through pregnancy together and my son is in reception with her other daughter.

We tend to only see each other at school functions/ school run but have had the odd coffee and chat together. She was very helpful when my husband left and I was trying to rearrange my working pattern and equally I have helped her out on occasion.

The focus of our conversations has recently seemed to be about food, or more precisely what I am cooking for dinner. Doesnt help that my girls always rush out of school and ask whats for dinner.

So yesterday, I told then soup and bread, chocolate cake (they'd had school dinners) and she commented that it wasnt a substantial meal in a kind of jokey way (although this was all homemade - not that it should matter).

Today I nipped to the shop with kids to get them a bag of sweets each and some sausages to tea. She looks in my basket and comments that she doesnt know how I stay so slim (I'm bigger than her)and that she never gives her childen sweets.

This isnt the first time that I've heard these sort of comments and she got a bit funny with me when i took her daughter to McDonalds for lunch with us a few moinths ago....the sausages are to go with mash and 3 lots of veg and the sweets were becuase we had just had a morning walk with the dog and were going back home to relax and watch a dvd.

so should I ignore this? say something?

OP posts:

Prunnhilda · 13/03/2011 13:15

Now that she's given you a handy sign that she's a bit unpleasant, you would be perfectly justified in backing off and finding other people to talk to at social occasions.

Mind you I had a friend like this who used to complain about all sorts of things people ate. Particularly annoying was her sneery face at even home-made pizza, while she enjoyed a grilled cheese and (home-made) tomato sauce sandwich quite regularly. There's no difference!

SardineQueen · 13/03/2011 13:15

Colitz the soup and bread was going to be followed by chocolate cake though

So not as calorie-light as at first glance.

annabelflowers · 13/03/2011 13:16

Your friend has major food issues I think, OP. Her issue, not yours, ignore.

FWIW, a rather sniffy friend of ours came around once when we were having bread and butter pudding for dinner. She was HORRIFIED. But, in my family every Wed we have 'dessert for supper'. It is amidweek treat, and DS eagerly looks forward to it. We are generally super healthy, we eat fish once a week and meat twice a week, rest of time lots of veggies and grains, so it balances out. Byt my friend was shocked. (Mind you, when I stopped bf due to personal issues i will not go into now she sent me texts every day telling me to stick with bf, and so on. So she already was a little too interested in my personal business. )

SardineQueen · 13/03/2011 13:19

Oooh oooh oooh.

You could just wind her up.

Whenever she asks what you are having say something ludicrous.

Day 1: Home made lobster ravioli with truffle oil, saffron oysters and calamari stuffed with caviare
Day 2: Granny's favourite trifle (that's it)
Day 3: A selection of finely grated raw vegetables arranged to make a portrait of Prince william and kate middleton
Day 4: A nice plump reasonably fresh squirrel that you found earlier, casseroled

....

See how long it takes before she stops asking

colditz · 13/03/2011 13:19

Yeah, I'm not saying it was calorie light - like I said I thought it was a fine dinner, but Ds1 didn't, he thought it was a snack, and would have been most perturbed to be handed his 'dinner' of chocolate cake.

He's not overweight either, and this was when he was 5, so not a greedy teen!

annabelflowers · 13/03/2011 13:20

Oh YES! What SardineQueen says.

hysterical!

tethersend · 13/03/2011 13:21

Tell her you stay so slim by consuming massive amounts of cocaine.

MissyKLo · 13/03/2011 13:21

Ladyofthemanor I am with you about the sweets thing and find it extremely amusing how people always say my kids will pig out on sweets when they are older because I don't give them sweets now (which is bollocks)

OP if you were my friend I would not question what you gave your children that's up to you! I may not agree with giving sweets but I would not judge or question you at all

It amazes me though how many people judge me because I don't allow my three year old sweets! he will probably eat them when he is older but for now there is no way I would give them to him now

annabelflowers · 13/03/2011 13:21

[snort]

colditz · 13/03/2011 13:22

Do do what sardinequeen ssays.

but then, i have a friend who is a strictly gracy or chips eater (ie, meat and veg or fish and chips) and she is regularly 6aghast^ at the meals I serve. She actually refused to believe I had made rabbit stew and would be serving it with mashed butternut squash, she thought I was pulling her leg.

annabelflowers · 13/03/2011 13:22

sorry, the snort was in ref to the cocaine. love that idea. :)

ambarth · 13/03/2011 14:39

YANBU.

pommedeterre · 13/03/2011 15:42

HecateTheCrone - I am sooo using that. Genius passive agressive one up man ship.

bubbleymummy · 13/03/2011 16:20

I'm with missyK and lotm re sweets and chocolate. I always laugh at the people who think cakes and chocolate are necessary to provide fat and sugar as part of a balanced diet :)

Op, I wouldn't have commented on what you were having to eat - that's just rude! Personally, soup and bread wouldn't fill me up though and I'd rather not use cake as a filler iykwim even though it would be a delicious dessert. I would just find I would need to eat a lot of it to make myself feel full! :) I would probably have to have a few potatoes or something with it but it does sound delicious :)

LadyOfTheManor · 13/03/2011 16:24

Welcome to the dark side children :)

TattyDevine · 13/03/2011 16:27

You have a one year old dont you LOTM?

What about when he's older, will you leap across the room when he's at a 3 year old's birthday party to avoid him trying them or will you relax somewhat for those situations?

Big difference obviously to providing them yourself but curious.

pommedeterre · 13/03/2011 16:31

I think cakes and chocolate are a necessary part of enjoying life not of providing fat and sugar. i will be bringing up any children to have the same attitude.
I won't be encouraging them to take it to the samee levels I did in my mid to late twenties but would also point out that my body performed medical defying feats in those years :).
Sugars no enemy of mine sweetcorn is though.

LadyOfTheManor · 13/03/2011 16:33

Tatty- the majority of my friends don't allow their children to eat crap either-that's just the kind of circle I associate with.

Feeding your children crap for a "peaceful" life is selfish and unnecessary.

You can all feed your children whatever you like, but please don't justify that fizzy drinks and artificial food colourings are influential parental techniques.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 13/03/2011 16:36

LOTM what you do or don't feed your child doesn't make you a better parent and quite frankly you sound bloody sanctimonious. I can just imagine your "circle of friends". FFS we all do the best we can and I and many other parents are no better or worse because we make all our food from scratch or allow our kids the odd sweet or biscuit.

TattyDevine · 13/03/2011 16:37

Where on earth did I do that?

What if you were to find yourself at a party when your child is, say, 5, and has started school (the chance of landing in an entire class where the parents all share your philosophy is slim) - what will you do if there are cakes and sweets?

I'm just genuinely curious about how you plan on carrying your (perfectly reasonable) philosophy forward as they grow and gain independence?

LadyOfTheManor · 13/03/2011 16:43

The "you" was a plural "you".

Hobnobs- You can think what you like you can "imagine" what you like too.

Tatty- I have been heavily researching particular types of schools and if there aren't any I am happy with I shall be home schooling.

As he gets older he will introduced to the odd treat-however a piece of fruit/yoghurt is sufficient...I'm not too sure what the problem is with that?

MadamDeathstare · 13/03/2011 16:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TattyDevine · 13/03/2011 16:49

Who said there was a problem with that?

Not me.

I was curious how you planned to go forward. Home schooling, fruit yogurt, question answered.

Thank you! That wasn't so hard!

(You do very much come across like you want people to have a problem with it - perhaps you dont mean to - perhaps you do)

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 13/03/2011 16:52

Do you know what I agree with the OP what I feed my kids is my business and no one else's.

LadyOfTheManor · 13/03/2011 16:52

MDS- Yes, that's the best suggestion on here!

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