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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To pull my son out of school one day a week?

53 replies

Rockmaiden · 12/03/2011 13:09

Bit of background -

My son is 7 next month and suffers from Global Development Delay, Autism and ADHD. He attends a mainstream school with the help of a full time one to one but as yet no statement is in place for him. He is also very lacking in speech and uses communication cards (PECS) in school.

I went to parents evening yesterday and was told that while my son is about 3-4 years AHEAD of his age group in maths, his writing is more at the level of a 3 year old and his reading even poorer (he does not yet read any words).

The teacher explianed that they spend half the school day doing maths and the other half on reading/writing.

Now it seems obvious to me that he needs to do less maths work and more reading and writing but it's not possible in school as the staff are not available to teach him independantly which means he is falling even further behind.

His teacher openely admitted he has made no progress in reading during his 3 years at school.

I am considering puling him out of school one day a week and instead home educating him on that one day so we can spend the whole day on reading and writing.

While his conditions mean he will always be behind I am hoping this will help close the gap a little and he certainly won't suffer from missing one maths lesson a week.

The teacher seemed appauled that I would consider this as it means seperating him from his peers when we are desperately trying to get him to connect and interact with them but will one day really affect him that much? He still has 4 days in school for all the rest.

He has SAT's coming up and I have already been told they expect him to fail as his litteracy skills are so poor.

Feel like something needs doing but not sure if this is the right thing.

What would you do?

OP posts:
worraliberty · 12/03/2011 13:11

Can you not work on his literacy after school and at weekends?

worraliberty · 12/03/2011 13:13

Actually, will the school even allow that?

Is it not that your DS is either on their school role or being home ed?

FattyArbuckel · 12/03/2011 13:13

I really sympathise with being in the situation of being unsure what to do for the best for your child.

As far as I know there is no system for doing part time home ed and U think there shoudl be a system for this as it seems like a good idea to me for lots of families.

Waht I don't understand is, if your ds has a full time one to one helper, why can't this person do lots of literacy work with him?

hocuspontas · 12/03/2011 13:15

Half a day on maths? Are you sure? Shock

Where do they fit in art, science, DT, music etc?

worraliberty · 12/03/2011 13:16

That's what I was wondering hocus there are loads of other lessons to do including PE twice a week.

FabbyChic · 12/03/2011 13:17

I don;t think you can legally do that, sorry but why can't you do reading with him at the weekends?

hocuspontas · 12/03/2011 13:17

Agree about the 1-to-1. Why isn't she doing catch-up literacy skills while the others are doing hours of maths?

Rockmaiden · 12/03/2011 13:24

Sorry should have explained better.

The one to one teacher is not allowed sole responsibility of my son (his conditions make him dangerous at times) and to teach him litteracy seperately would mean the school need a second teacher and a spare room.

They do have PE etc. but these are 15 min slots at the start of the day, what I meant was half the classroom time was on maths and half on litteracy.

My son visits his father at the weekends (we don't live together) so can't do anything then and by the time he comes home from school he has to nap each day as it drains him so much so no chance in the evenings.

I believe it is legal to home educate for one day as the law says a child must have an education not a school but not sure how much the school would support it.

Should also mention that I am a qualifed teaching assistant, it's what I used to do before my son was born and now am SAHM due to various difficulties he has.

OP posts:
mewantcookiesmenocanwait · 12/03/2011 13:24

It's perfectly legal to home ed part-time, but you need the agreement of the headteacher - Google 'flexischooling' for more info.

Pagwatch · 12/03/2011 13:24

Why don't you post this in sn instead.

You may get rather more relevant and reasonable responses.

Ds2 did 4 days a week until he was 11 when the school said, quite reasonably, that the secondary structure could not work around such frequent absences.

The one day a week was excellent. The school knew what we were working on and we linked with ds2s teachers.

But it will depend on the school and the LEA.

Rockmaiden · 12/03/2011 13:25

Also to add they don't do art, DT, music etc.

It's just PE which is once a week for 15 minutes and his speech therapy which is 20 mins once a week.

Would obviously not choose those days to keep him home.

OP posts:
worraliberty · 12/03/2011 13:27

I'm sorry I know this is picky but really it's literacy

mychildrenarebarmy · 12/03/2011 13:27

Some schools are ok with flexi-schooling but it is purely down to the individual school as to if are willing to consider it as an option or not.

www.education-otherwise.org/Legal/SummLawEng&Wls.htm#flexi

diddl · 12/03/2011 13:27

How strange.

Mine had a timetable from day one at school.

Sorry, no help!

StewieGriffinsMom · 12/03/2011 13:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BehindLockNumberNine · 12/03/2011 13:29

How can a primary school not do Art, Dt, Music etc. Surely those are on the national curriculum and are a must???

Other option - do you have any other dc at home? If not, could you arrange to go into the school and work on a one to one basis with your ds once or twice a week? You are a qualified TA, schools use parent helpers, you would be the obvious person to help your ds.
Instead of taking him out of school, could you pop in say the last hour or two in the day to specifically to literacy with ds?
Forgive me if this is a daft idea though...

hockeyforjockeys · 12/03/2011 13:29

He does need to do equal amount of maths and literacy. I don't know him, but I imagine that he would get a lot of pleasure from maths as it is obviously his talent. It is unfair to not let him develop this potential and gain pleasure from it when I imagine most of school is a real struggle. Again I don't know him, but it may be that he is cognitively not ready to read and write yet, doing more of it is not going to change that fact. Remember it is quality, not quantity that counts.

Altough I'm a teacher, I'm not a special needs expert so can't properly advise you, however it may be the methods that are being used aren't suitable for him, and along with the school you might want to look into alternative methods that can be used in school to help him with his literacy.

I am shocked however, that with all his needs he hasn't got his statement yet. I'm sure you already are but you need to be on the backs of teh LA to get this through so he can get the support he should be entitled to.

As for home-educating one day a week, I can't imagine it would be possible. It would require a dual-registration so that his absences aren't counted on the school attendance data, and most schools/LAs would probably be very reluctant to sanction this.

I know I probably sound really harsh, , so if it comes across as such I am really sorry - please don't take it as a criticism. I can see that you are just hugely worried about your DS and just want what is best for him.

FattyArbuckel · 12/03/2011 13:30

Why can't the TA teach your ds quietly and seperately at the back of the classroom if not allowed sole charge?

AbbyLou · 12/03/2011 13:30

They don't do Art, Music or D T and only do PE for 15 minutes a week? What kind of school is this? Sounds like hell for all in it to me.

Rockmaiden · 12/03/2011 13:31

Sorry!

I always put a double T for some reason.

Will do some reasearch on flexi-schooling, it does sound like it's down to the Headteacher which goes in my favour as she often asks us to keep him home.

When they have any special events planned or visitors etc. they ask me to keep him home as he does not deal well with changes and new situations so I am sure I can get her on side.

OP posts:
abenstille · 12/03/2011 13:32

Just thinking,how well do you think he'll react to you teaching him? Will it be a bit like a husband teaching his wife to drive (or the other way around Grin)
Not sure on the legalities eaither, but if i were you I would keep him off for a day saying he's ill and try it. Obviously prepare for it before hand with some resources and interesting breaks so he doesn't go into overload etc. Then review.

worraliberty · 12/03/2011 13:32

15 minutes of PE is well below the national curriculum.

Pagwatch · 12/03/2011 13:34

Why do people keep saying it isn't possible when I and others have done it?

worraliberty · 12/03/2011 13:35

She asks you to keep him home? Hmm

If that's true, she wants reporting and promptly sacking ffs!

hockeyforjockeys · 12/03/2011 13:35

Also can I just add that it is outrageous that they don't do any art etc. he needs a wide-ranging and balanced curriculum, plus it is a legal entitlement.

I know you are worried about SATs, don't be. Year 2 Sats are completely meaningless other than checking schools are getting most children to a particular level. If your DS is not at that level yet then there is no point worrying about it, he can't fail, he would just be assessed at a lower level than the tests assess which will be done by the teacher.

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