To pull my son out of school one day a week?

[Rockmaiden]

Bit of background -

My son is 7 next month and suffers from Global Development Delay, Autism and ADHD. He attends a mainstream school with the help of a full time one to one but as yet no statement is in place for him. He is also very lacking in speech and uses communication cards (PECS) in school.

I went to parents evening yesterday and was told that while my son is about 3-4 years AHEAD of his age group in maths, his writing is more at the level of a 3 year old and his reading even poorer (he does not yet read any words).

The teacher explianed that they spend half the school day doing maths and the other half on reading/writing.

Now it seems obvious to me that he needs to do less maths work and more reading and writing but it's not possible in school as the staff are not available to teach him independantly which means he is falling even further behind.

His teacher openely admitted he has made no progress in reading during his 3 years at school.

I am considering puling him out of school one day a week and instead home educating him on that one day so we can spend the whole day on reading and writing.

While his conditions mean he will always be behind I am hoping this will help close the gap a little and he certainly won't suffer from missing one maths lesson a week.

The teacher seemed appauled that I would consider this as it means seperating him from his peers when we are desperately trying to get him to connect and interact with them but will one day really affect him that much? He still has 4 days in school for all the rest.

He has SAT's coming up and I have already been told they expect him to fail as his litteracy skills are so poor.

Feel like something needs doing but not sure if this is the right thing.

What would you do?

Behind - I do have another child at home until September but it would be something to consider in the future.

Hockey - Nice to get a teacher's view on this, we are fighting for a statement but sadly his teacher dosn't agree about the level of extra help he needs so it's a slow process.

Abbey - I assume they must do it sometime but there is no structured lesson for it and the timetable just shows literacy and numeracy.

Abenstille - He will respond very well to it and his maths level is mostly down to what he learnt at home, he knew most of his times tables before starting school as he has an amazing memory.

I think it would be far better if he did the SATs because the results are given to his Junior school/class teacher.

This will be a brilliant indication of his strengths and weakness for them to look at.

It is very definitely legal to have a child in school for part of the week and home for the rest - there are quite a few of us on here who have done it! However, you don't legally have the right to demand it, it is purely at the agreement of the head teacher. The time spent out of school is notched up to a code which allows the school to still receive funding, and for there to be no problems regarding the "absence".

I would say the difficulty could be the social side - if the children are playing together at breaks, and they play games which "continue" from on day to another, it could be idolating for him to not be there one day a week. But it sounds like you are having to keep him home on odd days anyway, so that may not be much different.

worraliberity schools are obliged to assess every child at the end of year 2. For a child like the OP's this would probably consist of him doing the maths test using an adult to read and scribe for him, whereas for English they would teacher assess either by doing specific tasks or using work that has been done in class (usually it is a mixture of both). Whatever method they use, the child has to go to Year 3 with a recorded level.

I think it sounds good. You could always try it out to see how it panned out. Your child is lucky to have a mum like you.

How about collecting him after lunch each day? I also like the idea of you helping in school. A parent at our school did that 3 afternoons a week.

Ahh I didn't realise that hockey

Though to be perfectly honest, I'd still like to see the child do the SATs if only because it will show up on the school's league table.

I can't believe any Head Teacher would ask a parent to keep their child off either. If the school can't provide for all of their children's needs, there is something very wrong and this Head sounds as though she wants to sweep this child under the carpet rather than admit the school is failing him miserably.

It is perfectly possible to flexi-school, but does depend on the school / local authority / how much of a fuss you kick up (!).

Being honest, though, OP - do you think your child is being served best in a mainstream school?

Rockmaiden This is a tricky situation and I can't advise you as I don't know your child so it is impossible to say who is right. I know somebody who work for the LA SEN parent's advisory service, and she has seen both sides, sometimes where the school is being incredibly unsupportive and even outrageous in their dealings with the child, and sometimes where the parent is unrealistic about what is possible, are wrong in their beliefs on the best way to support their child, or thinks things are worse than they are. As I say no idea what camp you fall into! Have you considered looking at another school for Year 3 if this one isn't meeting you DS's needs?

Perhaps Head is acting in the interest of the child? 'When they have any special events planned or visitors etc. they ask me to keep him home as he does not deal well with changes and new situations

Depends on what OP means by not dealing with new situations, and how stressful it is for her DS?

MCos Schools have a duty under the Every child matters policy to include and provide for all of their children...that doesn't involve simply asking the parent not to send them in when they have school visitors (wonders if this child was being hidden from OFSTED inspectors actually)

Though to be perfectly honest, I'd still like to see the child do the SATs if only because it will show up on the school's league table.

First of all not quite sure of your reasoning behind that statement. Secondly Key stage 1 Sats aren't used in league table data - only Key Stage 2 Sats. However the data is publicly avaliable in the form of a percantage of children acheiving level 2 and level 3. Every child is counted whether they take the test or not (in Year 6 certain circumstances means some can be disallowed, as far as I am aware this isn't the case in Year 2). This is why some schools can be very reluctant at teaching SEN children who won't make level 2 as it will make them look like they are doing a worse job than they are, mainly due to complete ignorance by people who use raw data to choose a school for their child.

I think YABU as one day a week wouldn't really work. He would forget everything by the end of the week.you would be better off doing a half day evey day or every couple days

Rockmaiden I missed that bit about you being asked to remove him at certain times. Can I make a suggestion that you find him another school as several things they are doing like this, and the very narrow curriculumn are outrageous. It is not treating your DS fairly or appropriately and the vast majority of schools in my experience would do a far better job than this. It makes me furious to think there are schools out their like this that are not being dragged through the mud by their LA and Ofsted (but if they are getting the results then I know from experience it won't be happening). Sorry to get a bit political but it makes me so angry that they can get away with this.

We did exactly that for years with ds2, who has autism. It worked really really well. It was a day without the other dcs, just me and him, every Friday, to 'debrief' from school as much as anything. I know another child at his former school does the same thing.
Talk to the school.

The headteacher asks to us to keep him at home for his own benefit, it's not as bad as it sounds. My son is very violent when presented with something un-familiar and it is for his own safety and that of the other children in his class.

Muminscotland - The day my son even notices that there are other children in the playground let alone join in their games will be the best day of my life, it's not going to be an issue.

Redflag - NoI don't think mainstream is best for him at all, especially not with what his classmates are subjected to from him but until we get a statement I have no choice, believe me he will be moved as soon as I can.

Vajazz - My son forgets nothing! He dosn't understand what he is saying or learning at times but he dosn't forget. His memory is un-believeable.

I dont think that this is likely to work,I see your reasoning I see what you are working towards and I have no issue with that at all but even if you got the permission from the head teacher you simply cannot make a child learn to read,moreover a child with special needs- with reading the penny has to literally drop- even if a child knows all his sounds all his letters until it 'clicks' he cannot read as such.

There are other options you could take,short bursts at home,watching tv with subtitles on so he links the written word and the spoken word together.

Even if you chose to H,E him solely it isnt 'fair' that a child with such difficulty who obviously can 'do' school and is dare i suggest 'gifted' at maths not be given the chance to shine in front of his peers.

We cant all be good at everything and tbh I think your ds is doing so remarkably well as it is.

Post - Thank you very much, it's very helpful to hear from other mums of autistic children.

Hockey - The school is on special meassures from Ofsted but I wouldn't call them a bad school, his current teacher has a lot lacking but the head is a lovely woman and asking me to keep him home is honestly in his best interests.

They have put up with so much from my son and never excluded him despite litterally hundreds of complaints about him.

What we need is the statement as there is an autistim school nearby that he would do amazingly in.

Nick - I understand that and we may make no progress at home still but considering he has made no progress in almost 3 years at school don't you think it's worth a try?

If you understood the sensory issues my son has you would understand just how difficult it is for him to focus and learn in a school environment. I honestly believe he would learn better at home and whilst we might not achieve miracles any progress would help.

Even if it's just to get him to recognise his own name I would be delighted.

If his needs are not being met then you need to apply for a statement for him. It would be possible for you to get the arrangement you cite but if the head says no, you may need the support of a tribunal. But you know him best so stick to your guns.

Rockmaiden Has the statement been applied for? I just find it shocking that when he has so many obvious difficulties that his needs aren't being met, it does matter that his teacher is lacking even if the head is lovely.

Can I explain how we would work with a child like your son? We would apply for a statement asap and keep pushing for it, particularly if mainstream is not the right place for him. We wouldn't exclude him either, but we wouldn't ask for him to be kept home. We would make sure that if there were situations that he would find stressful and cause him to 'kick off' we would manage them to try and avoid them. For example if a visitor was coming we would arrange for his TA to go with him to a place he was used to being in and doing normal literacy and maths activities so that it felt like his normal routine. I know it doesn't always work like this, as I imagine your son would be well aware that his routine was being changed, but we would do everything we could to minimise the risk. If it was really not working then we would apply to the LA to have him moved to a school where his needs were being met.

I just really feel that if the school is in special measures and struggling to cope with him you need to take him elsewhere. There are other schools out there that won't exclude him either, but would make sure that his needs were being met.

Rockmaiden, you may find it helpful to join the email list for HE Special. Lots of experience there with resources and methods for working with children like your DS.

I thought that for most children with a diagnosis like this a statement was par for the course?

It sounds to me like what you suggest would be exactly right for your child. Quite why the school thinks it acceptable to neglect children's reading in favour of maths is beyond me- it can't be good for any of the pupils, let alone your DS.