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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

B-day party update: inviting hissing child...

53 replies

TigerDad · 12/03/2011 10:24

Dear Mumsnet readers,

A few weeks ago my wife and I placed a question on Mumsnet to gage the opinions of the readers, to see if we should invite a 'hissing', mean, and ill-mannered little girl to our daughter's birthday party. We didn't want to invite the little girl, but the tradition at her school was as such that all the classmates are usually invited to bithday parties- a standard all or nothing rule. We questioned this, and so did the Mumsnetters.

The members gave us a tremendous responce, and we thank them. The overwhelming responce was to only invite a few friends, rather than the whole class, which us what we have done.

Now, I thought the readers/ posters, might like to know that this HAS been the best advice! The 'hissing' little girl has announced that she wouldn't go even if she was invited, and most of the rest of the classmates that have been invited have been very happy and excited about the party. Not all the children invited have been ill-mannered or jealous, just the child we were most concerned about. Now we know that following your advice regarding the happiness of our daughter, breaking tradition by having a smaller party, and remaining kind and polite to all the other classmates has been the best decision.
Thank you for your brilliant comments!
If you have any other birthday party advice, please do let us know.
Best wishes,
TigerDad

OP posts:

Fetlock · 12/03/2011 10:29

i am curious re the hissing little girl, i am imagining satan's spawn here. does she actually hiss?....what has she done that is so bad (i have had the misfortune of knowing one little girl who sounds similar)

wellwisher · 12/03/2011 10:34

I love when people come back with updates - thank you :)

Hope your dd has a fab day!

Original poster

TigerDad · 12/03/2011 10:39

Yes. She really hisses. I has a hard time believing it, until
my wife said this little girl hissed at her, as well as at my daughter, when she said good morning to her.

OP posts:

OTheHugeManatee · 12/03/2011 10:41

Yes, I was imagining a red-eyed junior hellspawn with claws and pointy teeth and a head that swivels all the way round.

In any case, I'm glad it worked out

tallulahxhunny · 12/03/2011 10:55

i would imagine she only said she wouldnt go because she wasnt invited.

but i would like to add what a mean nasty individual you are to talk about a child like this, what age is the child?

NestaFiesta · 12/03/2011 11:00

Tallulah- I think it's quite correct not to invite an anti social child. You can't accommodate that sort of behaviour of its spoils things for other children. Hissing child's parents need to sort it out. I don't think Tiger Dad is being mean at all.

bogle · 12/03/2011 11:02

I agree with Nesta, Thanks for update Tigerdad

SeeJaneKick · 12/03/2011 11:03

TAllulah unles you read the original thread, that is a stupid thing to say.

ShirleyKnot · 12/03/2011 11:03

Is it just me or does this sound incredibly childish to anyone else?

pigletmania · 12/03/2011 11:09

Thats good Tiger, so is your dd having a smaller party? Its good to do things your own way, there are no rules of how to do a party. I think that other parents might breath a sigh of relief that there is no pressure on them to do that, mabey they were worrying about how they would do a whole class party on a budget, and just wanted a small one with a few children and cake and jelly. Hope that your dd has a lovely day, where are you going. Just because the girl is badly behaved does not necessarily mean she has an SN, there are just plain horrid children like there are adults.

tallulahxhunny · 12/03/2011 11:09

yes shirleyknot it does,

i did read the original thread and didnt comment on it then cos all the witches were out about this poor child.

Maybe the child is anti social because people like tigerdad talk about her in their homes and thier children go in and exclude the child

NestaFiesta · 12/03/2011 11:14

Tallulah- The child didn't become anti social because the likes of Tiger Dad had a smaller party and excluded her, she obviously thinks that hissing etc is acceptable and her parents have the responsibility to stop her. The consequence is that other chidlren will be upset by her. Why should Tiger Dad's DS have his party spoiled by a hssing girl to protect HER feelings not his DS's?

tallulahxhunny · 12/03/2011 11:17

Its up to him whether he should invite her or not obviously i couldnt give a shiny shit if he did or not. my point is that he as an adult is on here talking nastily about a child. And tbh if he has to come on here for advice about who he invites or doesnt to a birthday party then he clearly has problems making decisions for himself.

pigletmania · 12/03/2011 11:18

Exactly Nesta, there are just really horrid children out there, mabey a product of their circumstances, or that they were made that way. These are the children who spat at me at school, called me names and made my life hell at primary school as I had severe Eczema.

pigletmania · 12/03/2011 11:19

Yes mabey Tigers desription of her was not good and could have referred her as the anti social child

KaraStarbuckThrace · 12/03/2011 11:23

Tallaluh - are you having a laugh?

'Maybe the child is anti social because people like tigerdad talk about her in their homes and thier children go in and exclude the child'

Err no I think it is most probably the case that she has been dragged up and has been turned into a vile and nasty child by her parents who don't give a shit, and as a result none of the kids want to play with her.

Piglet - yep I had the same experience as you. And I didn't start on these kids - they started on me for no fucking reason except they were nasty little shits. My parents weren't even aware of their existence until they started bullying me

tallulahxhunny · 12/03/2011 11:23

or maybe just called her a child??????

or even better just invited children his daughter plays with without needing someone else to spoonfeed the decision to him

DaffodilsAndScillas · 12/03/2011 11:23

tallulah "And tbh if he has to come on here for advice about who he invites or doesnt to a birthday party then he clearly has problems making decisions for himself."

Er....like all the other thousands of aibus asking for advice on making a decision then? Not really seeing your point there!

NestaFiesta · 12/03/2011 11:24

Tallulah, if you are saying that people who come on AIBU cannot make decisions for themselves, you are opening a can of worms! Personally I think it's sensible to canvas opinion and the experience of other parents in order to make an informed decision.

Newgolddream · 12/03/2011 11:24

Thanks for your update.

Tallulah - people post here for mall sorts of reasons, whats wrong with asking for someones opinion? I dont think hes nasty at all - quite simply there are nasty children in the world.

tallulahxhunny · 12/03/2011 11:25

or maybe she was spoilt rotten and never disciplined cos she is a princess!!!!

which is probably more likely ;)

tallulahxhunny · 12/03/2011 11:28

eport | Message poster DaffodilsAndScillas Sat 12-Mar-11 11:23:55
tallulah "And tbh if he has to come on here for advice about who he invites or doesnt to a birthday party then he clearly has problems making decisions for himself."

Er....like all the other thousands of aibus asking for advice on making a decision then? Not really seeing your point there!

99% of them are unreasonable questions that a monkey could make a decision on

NestaFiesta · 12/03/2011 11:30

Tallulah- she may have been spoiled rotten but that doesn't mean others deserve to suffer her unpleasant behaviour. It's her parent's fault, but that doesn't mean the rest of the world has to accommodate her behaviour. Anti social behaviour is not tolerated from either children or adults, and children need to learn that early on.

tallulahxhunny · 12/03/2011 11:33

So an adult spouting off about a "child" is okay is it, we can all have a wee moan but as the first couple on this thread says he made he come across as the spawn of the devil, is that still okay?

is he talking like this infront of his daughter? i wonder

catchmeifyoucan · 12/03/2011 11:36

Goodness me! When did it become illegal to NOT regard all children as precious little angels? Some of them are quite revolting. Most are not. So we're not allowed to make that distinction now?

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