to be mightily impressed by this Conspicuous Parent's sterling work?

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

I was relaxing child-free in a coffee shop (not Costa btw [wunk]) this afternoon, when a Performance Parent Extraordinaire came in.

She proceeded to let the girl behind the till know by wily means that her precious DD had made it to a Grammar School.

This school is known locally by a very short snappy name, but this mom instisted on giving it it's full title of SelectiveGirlsGrammarInTheTown12MilesAwayWithAWankyBrownUniform each time she mentioned it.

She came and sat at the empty table next to mine and started to talk in a loud voice, about how she's have to get a new bag for PFB (I'm surmising) so that she can be organised when she goes to SelectiveGirlsGrammarInTheTown12MilesAwayWithAWankyBrownUniform in September. All with a sly glance to see if Chaos has looked up from the newspaper with her jaw dropped in awe.

After mentioning SelectiveGirlsGrammarInTheTown12MilesAwayWithAWankyBrownUniform two more times in order to impress the impassive me, I think she gave up and started talking about their tedious plans for the weekend.

An older couple came in and settled down near Attention Seeker.

Guess what?

Yep, "Darling PFB, which language do you think you'll be picked to do when you arrive at SelectiveGirlsGrammarInTheTown12MilesAwayWithAWankyBrownUniform?"

And, "Have you put the date in your diary for the Welcome meeting at SelectiveGirlsGrammarInTheTown12MilesAwayWithAWankyBrownUniform?"

It was actually getting quite amusing by this point.

I was everso impressed by her tenacity.

Full Marks.

twat

Bravo that parent!

lol What did the DD do? I would have bee cringing!

that's so sad it's funny, Chaos.
I think perhaps you did the right thing, although the temptation to make some sarky comment would have been high, something like:
did you say "SelectiveGirlsGrammarInTheTown12MilesAwayWithAWankyBrownUniform?
sorry, never heard of it."

Then walked out.

I would have picked my phone up and called my imaginary daughter to ask if she had heard how her brother got on at his meeting at Eton but she would have told me off because i knew she was busy in a lecture at cambridge.

I would have apologised and excused myself as of course i was still a little stressed over her fathers tie drama this morning, tut why can the man not chose his won tie for meeting the premier on an important business matter. does he not know i have enough on my plate organising the joint family holiday with the Bransons.

but ya know, thats just me

I would have made a fake call on my mobile to a ficticious child aged 15 and at Oxford who went to a comprehensive and drank alcopops - just to piss the Conspicuous parent off.

Lol Mamazon! snap!

I think I would have picked up my mobile and made a fake call along these lines:

hello? yes it's Chaos, I was just wondering, you know that school you worked at the other day, with the drug problem and that dodgy teacher? what was it called again?..... Oh, it was(insert local snappy name)oh yeah that's right. Never mind, just that I heard something else awful about it this morning but I'll tell you later as it's being swept under the carpet a bit...

I love listening to these parents. It's fun reading between the line ' oh Timmy you've been so well behaved mummy has got you a cake as a treat' (read: hopefully now you'll sit quietly for at least 10 minutes and I can eat my own cake in peace)

mamazon!

good minds! We should meet for a coffee to ruin peoples days :o

and of course manic will need to come too! I thought I was the only one who thought of doing this type of thing!

I wonder what a wunk smiley would look like.........sorry [wunk] made me laugh, small minds and all that.

It's a when you're a bit slaughtered.

It was me.

I knew she was a MNer cunfy.

Shit.

oh feck.

cumfy.

Large

I wwonder if I/We had been the wanky, loud parents, like those we seem to encounter at every airport/train station nowadays, our DCs might have been the Oxbridge wunderkind. Clearly we did something wrong
Instead we have two well-adjusted, smart, empathetic and funny offspring. One married, working and busily reproducing and the other working, socialising (still at home but working up to moving) and making everyone around him laugh.
Yes, I can't deny I would have liked them to follow in my/DH's academic footsteps ..... but although DS is very smart he just wasn't interested and DD admits herself she wasn't academically inclined.
DS is into making music/writing/films and DD is practical/funny/maternal in a way I never was and very sensible.
We did our utmost to support academic achievement by encouraging study etc. but it didn't work out the way we envisaged. I suspect we were a bit superior in our attitudes
The best laid plans and all that ......

Why didn't you just start talking to your child that just got into ConsiderablyDifficultToGainEntranceToSchoolAndBetterThanHerSchoolAnyway?

YANBU and I love the posts by Mamazon, Manic and Skip

Off topic but every time I see your [wunk] I do wonder what type of smiley would be used if you'd hit the 'a' button instead of the 'u' by mistake

My mum told everyone when DS got into the grammar school, even the butcher. I was in town with DS recently, and he was in his 'wanky' uniform, and the woman in the bakers asked where he went to school, and when he said, she congratulated him for getting in. Just like his primary school teacher did, and his headteacher, and the woman who took the photo for his bus pass, and our neighbours, and other parents who knew about it.

Because most people like to hear good news, especially when it involves a child, and real life isn't as mean spirited as MN.

So congratulations to the child in the coffee shop. I hope she has a wonderful time, and I'm sure she'll get a lot out of it because her family obviously cares about her and will support her all the way.

MillyR, I wasn't being mean-spirited.

I said nothing to detract from the child's achievements, just how I found the mom's desperastion to mention it amusing (which I hope people gleaned from my style of posting).

I, too, have been proud of my DC's achievements and probably have been guilty of boasting.

But, truly, this woman was comical in her earnest performance, trying desperately to impress strangers.

I would cetainly have sincerely congratulated the child if the information had been passed to me in a natural conversation. But being forced to admire the achievement of an unknown child by being privy to such an overt performance, only caused me to titter.

Yes, MillyR. MN is sooo mean spirited. I often think that when I'm reading threads where every other post is 'thank Christ it's not just me that feels like this!'.

It's a bit unfortunate that you've just reinforced the stereotype of mums whose kids go to grammar schools ('everyone is just so thrilled, and of course we support our children...unlike some').

You've really missed the point of the OP though. Great that your kid does well. I'm proud when my kids do well. But it's the ostentatiousness of it that grates.

Chaos

Did I not mention DD's trust fund and our Tuscan villa ?
I lost track.

Really, next time you see me, just come on over slap
your friendly arm around me, give my big hair a good ruffle and shout
"How you doing wankchops me old mucker"

I'm reaally informal like that; all this artifice is just for show.

If I shriek and start saying:
"Help, get off, who the hell are you, there really must be some mistake ....police!"
Everything's OK, that's just secret code for "we must have met on MN":o

Chocolate/Chaos {grin]

I like good news too. Anybody's - not just my own. And there is nothing wrong with a bit of a boast. Some people take these things to extremes and deserve ridicule.

[wunk]