to be mightily impressed by this Conspicuous Parent's sterling work?

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

I was relaxing child-free in a coffee shop (not Costa btw [wunk]) this afternoon, when a Performance Parent Extraordinaire came in.

She proceeded to let the girl behind the till know by wily means that her precious DD had made it to a Grammar School.

This school is known locally by a very short snappy name, but this mom instisted on giving it it's full title of SelectiveGirlsGrammarInTheTown12MilesAwayWithAWankyBrownUniform each time she mentioned it.

She came and sat at the empty table next to mine and started to talk in a loud voice, about how she's have to get a new bag for PFB (I'm surmising) so that she can be organised when she goes to SelectiveGirlsGrammarInTheTown12MilesAwayWithAWankyBrownUniform in September. All with a sly glance to see if Chaos has looked up from the newspaper with her jaw dropped in awe.

After mentioning SelectiveGirlsGrammarInTheTown12MilesAwayWithAWankyBrownUniform two more times in order to impress the impassive me, I think she gave up and started talking about their tedious plans for the weekend.

An older couple came in and settled down near Attention Seeker.

Guess what?

Yep, "Darling PFB, which language do you think you'll be picked to do when you arrive at SelectiveGirlsGrammarInTheTown12MilesAwayWithAWankyBrownUniform?"

And, "Have you put the date in your diary for the Welcome meeting at SelectiveGirlsGrammarInTheTown12MilesAwayWithAWankyBrownUniform?"

It was actually getting quite amusing by this point.

I was everso impressed by her tenacity.

Full Marks.

at cumfy.

Ooh no skiptotheend gets my vote! (is that a Spaced-inspired name btw?)

Bloody hell though, my whole family were ecstatic when I got into similar school but they didn't boast/broadcast like that! How mortifying for the poor girl!

Unless she was just as smug of course.

Jessikart, it is a stereotype that I am proud to uphold. A lot of people are thrilled that DS got into grammar school and a lot of people do support him.

And it is true that some parents do not support their children. It is a sad world. I'm not sure what your point is in bringing that up though. It is an obvious point but a tragic one. Life is really horrible for a lot of kids.

Too right MillieR. Some children are very poorly supported by their parents, including the sad little stream of boys from my brother's very exclusive independent boarding school who would come to our home over the holidays for a while.
Because their presence at home was inconvenient, despite the staff available to meet their physical needs.

I must admit to an inability to resist popping metaphorical balloons with a sharp pin when encountering Conspicuous Parenting in Public.
Please let the thread continue in its original spirit.

pass me the sick bag!

No, the girl looked really sweet actually Freud.

The mom looked pretty normally really, but her need for attention was extreme!

I once had this. There was a couple at the next table to me, having lunch with their son who was just about to head off University. They were giving it their all while I sat there thinking. "Im programme leader fo the course you son is on and you have NO idea, ha ha ha ha". I see him a lot now :)

My nan used to do this ALL the time when I was growing up. "Did I tell you that Porto is at the Grammar School? She is very strong in Modern Languages. Yes - she wants to be a Bilingual Secretary (height of ambition in my Nan's eyes) and work for the Foreign Office" Me and the bus driver would share a "look". It was truly mortifying!

Bless her. I did at least make it abroad so I am sure her fellow bus passengers are now regailed with tales of my exciting life. "My Granddaughter lives abroad you know! Oh yes her DH is doing very well for himself (she seems to forget I actually have a job) etc etc"

I LOVE parents like this, they utterly make my day! There's one at the charges school who does this.

Her eldest is in my eldest charges class (Y6), the day after secondary school places were announced she delighted in telling parents her DS had got into the school she forced him to apply he wanted, she then clearly thought I would want to know.

Average school playground size, so reasonably large, I'm on one side, she's almost on the total oppisite

Did she walk across the playground to talk? no

She yelled across the playground...I mean YELLED

"MILK! MILK! MIIIIIIIIIILK!! OVER HERE! HI! WHAT SS DID GET A PLACE IN?? GOT A PLACE AT , WE'RE SOOOOOO PROUD"

Then put a smug look on her face waiting for everyone to congratulate her

no one did :o

Actually I thought she was a bitch for that, 3 kids didn't get into a single school they went for!!

It isn't just confined to parents either.

We recently ended up being followed round a shop by an elderly couple who kept saying "we'll have to get one of these for when we go to Australia ,. "Oo, have you told Mrs Bloggs to water the plants while we are in Australia?" "How many of these do you think will last us 4 weeks in Australia" ad nauseum.

I wanted to say something to them about advertising the fact that their house would be empty in a shop where anyone could be listening, but DH pulled me away.

at Milky.

How to make friends and influence people huh?

True story:

My father was doing this when I was accepted into an all girls school of some repute. Bragging all over town. One person said to him 'That's great! You know, if she's a virgin now, she won't be by the time she finishes. ThatSchool's girls have a bit of a reputation, you know.'

Shut my dad right up.

I'd have said...

"Oh, is she going to SelectiveGirlsGrammarInTheTown12MilesAwayWithAWankyBrownUniform? Mine went there and got a fantstic education! Now don't you listen to any of those people saying how much it's gone downhill in the last couple of years...they don't know what they're talking about..."

"SelectiveGirlsGrammarInTheTown12MilesAwayWithAWankyBrownUniform?" "Well that is brave of you. I'm sure the rumours aren't true, or at least it's all been exaggerated."

Blimey - what a sad little twat she must be to have to do that! I may have felt the need to mutter 'twat' as I passed her table if it were me...

Her poor poor daughter having such a stupid parent!

[groin]
[wank]
[shack]
[bluish]
[mine]
[blow]

they're all only one letter away from being rude, aren't they...

this one: though
only needs [soggy] at the beginning to be very rude.

This is a very BRITISH thread.
We don't half loathe success, do we?
How very dare she be pleased.
Maybe if we had a better attitude as a society, she wouldn't need to be so nauseating.

we love success.
success is what being British is all about.

we just don't like boasting
tis very different.

No, we like people to do a little well but not too well, and never, ever to mention it lest they be suspected of boasting.
Anything else is infra dig.

Oh bless her! She's ever so proud of her DD

But do you think it's just an extension of those people that never say 'I drove the car' but have to say 'I drove the BMW Bourgemobile'. And never say 'I rang her on my mobile' but always on 'my IPhone Newest Model'?

I couldn't give a shit if somebody elses child who I do not know does well though - why should I - why should I be expected to be involved in 'celebrating' it and why is the parents trying to take so much credit for her childs actual achievement - it's not like the mother passed the 11+

I couldn't give a tiny rats wank about the fact that some random strangers brat passed an exam - why should i?

milly - there's a big difference between telling people who might be expected to be thrilled about the news, and determinedly 'accidentally' broadcasting the fact to random strangers who probably don't care even if they new what school she was talking about.

Oh she sounds like an absolute pain but I bet she's just thrilled and a bit socially awkward.

I'm always mentioning trivial things I'm genuinely pleased about and getting the Scottish death stare (there is No Boasting Whatsoever Even If It's Not Boasting in Scotland). It's really dull.

Maybe her voice is loud.
Maybe they are both excited
Maybe she's sat at home thinking 'why did I tell the coffee shop girl about dd's school'
Maybe we should spend less time worrying about the parents who aspire for their dcs and show pride in their achievements and more time worrying about the parents who broadcast negativity or just say nothing for fear of 'boasting'
Maybe?

Oh this is making me laugh....and the things I would have liked to have said...

"But aren't you worried about the, you know, after the ........ thing ?"
"Well - ha ha ha - just make sure you don't pay for any school trips after what happened last term - ha ha ha! Still, 5 years, eh? Fairly stiff rap over the knuckles that one. God knows how they managed to keep it out of the press."
"Oh I heard that they're now saying the head's 'retiring' - well since when has that been a euphemism for 'leaving in disgrace after a series of affairs with many,many governors?"
"Oh - have they solved the bullying problems already?"
"When will she be having her jabs? And she knows about not picking up needles she finds in the playground, right?"
"Have they replaced the asbestos yet?"
"Aren't you worried your dd will be picked on - or does she not have the same accent as you?"