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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think dh shouldn't go visit his mother tomorrow if bil and sil are going to be sitting in first class and he's in standard with our daughter?

35 replies

indiechick · 11/03/2011 21:45

DH is going up north tomorrow to visit MIL with our dd1. I'm at home with dd2 who's ill. BIL and SIL are going too. They want to go on same train but have just texted to say they're upgrading to first class. DH can't afford to upgrade (makes the day trip ridiculously expensive) so now faces the prospect of meeting them at station, getting on train, travelling separately and then getting bus at other end to MIL's house. What's the point? Why can't they just sit in standard with dd1 and DH? I know it's not major in the grand scheme of things, but why do they have to be such pains?!

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 11/03/2011 21:47

Hehe Grin

Don't be daft.

violetmoon · 11/03/2011 21:53

Maybe they dont want a train journey with a child- I wouldnt if I had the option! Grin Yabu, its really no biggie.

Lavitabellissima · 11/03/2011 21:53

You get free tea/coffee/newspapers in first class Smile

Sometimes if the train is busy you can pay £10 and upgrade on the journey, it's definitely worth it. I.started doing it when pregnant on journeys to Cornwall, so worth it, quieter & seats much.more comfy!

2rebecca · 11/03/2011 21:56

They aren't being pains. They are just travelling the way that suits them. Why do you want to control their travel arrangements, you aren't even going?

Northernlurker · 11/03/2011 21:57

Oh yes what a good idea - why don't you fall out with your inlaws over a fecking train seat! No it's not major and it doesn't affect you - you've got your out card in the shape of your sick dd so keep quiet!

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 11/03/2011 22:01

Yes, YAB(completely)U.

Your dd will be with your DH, it's not as if they're abandoning her.

So they can afford to upgrade and your family can't, what difference does it make really? If the day was just about going on a train trip fair eneough, but they'll all see each other at the other end.

supersewer · 11/03/2011 22:01

ha ha fantastic thread!!

Altaira · 11/03/2011 22:01

Well, Yab a bit u to say he shouldn't go visit his mum becuase if it. However, it is a bit odd and antisocial of them and it would irk me too!

AgentZigzag · 11/03/2011 22:05

Is it right that you can buy a first class ticket but you're not guaranteed a seat?

Original poster
indiechick · 11/03/2011 22:06

Crikey Northernlurker, calm down. I did say it wasn't major.

OP posts:
cheesesarnie · 11/03/2011 22:07

seriously?

AgentZigzag · 11/03/2011 22:11

You're sat there silently fuming whilst you plot how you can spurn your BIL and SIL at the next family event aren't you indie? Grin

MrsKwazii · 11/03/2011 22:14

LOL, you are being very silly OP

TragicallyHip · 11/03/2011 22:15

You are being OTT to suggest that he shouldn't go!

I find it slightly odd that they will upgrade and not want to sit altogether but hey ho it's just a train journey!

Original poster
indiechick · 11/03/2011 22:15

I just don't understand them, they decide to visit MIL on the same day as we planned to, BIL will do his usual 'come and give your uncle a hug' routine to my dd, who won't remember him as he turns up so infrequently and then he'll bugger off to 1st class and she'll be in standard wondering who the fuck he is! Can you tell I can't stand him?!

OP posts:
unfitmother · 11/03/2011 22:16

YABU and they are being a bit unsociable

cheesesarnie · 11/03/2011 22:16

she'll get to spend quality time with her daddy.

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 11/03/2011 22:17

Ah ha! So it's not just about their plans for tomorrow, there's a good bit of background to go with this!

TattyDevine · 11/03/2011 22:18

Presumably he's going to see his mother not for the pleasure of a train journey in standard class (oxymoron) with his BIL et al.

Its semi-rude of them, a potential snub or assuming (depending) on their behalf

But I'd not worry if I were him.

tigerdriverII · 11/03/2011 22:20

Your dd will enjoy the trip (kids love trains, they don't have to commute!) and she'll forget all about uncle disappearo. Yabu but I can see why you're irked. Anyway, your DH will be spared from having to spend time with them, if they're that tricky.

DioneTheDiabolist · 11/03/2011 22:21

The point is that your DH will get to see his mum and your DD will get to see her granny. That was the original point of going there. The fact that you BIL is going at the same time, but chooses to travel first class is immaterial. Right?

ravenAK · 11/03/2011 22:21

I might be pissed off if it were me going, & I'd been looking forward to a nice chatty train ride with bil & sil. IS dh pissed off about it?

I must admit - if I'd arranged to travel with someone, I'd consider it rude to then upgrade out of their company.

I suppose you could look at it as them effectively getting a different train & meeting dh & dd1 there.

Above all, though, it's dh's problem - & you should possibly wind yer neck in & let him get on with it. Sorry.

BluddyMoFo · 11/03/2011 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
indiechick · 11/03/2011 22:25

I'll wind my neck in, I haven't said anything to DH, I'm just moaning on MN. And you're all right, it is important that dd sees her gran.
DH is feeling bad 'cos we can't afford to upgrade and I'm peed off with BIL for putting him in this position but BIL isn't to know we can't afford upgrade so I guess not his fault.

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 11/03/2011 22:25

'You are being a big silly. Stop it.'

That's the OP told Grin