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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not bother with party bags?

88 replies

JanetPlanet · 11/03/2011 10:31

My temporary contract has ended so I'm not working and I resent having to spend money on frigging bouncy balls etc when I've made an effort on food, drink, balloons and cake. However, my sister says party bags are expected and her kids will be 'devastated' if they don't get one!
Sorry if this issue has been done to death.

OP posts:

GORGEOUSX · 11/03/2011 21:02

ambarth I stopped it around year 2 and lots of mums commented on what a lovely party it was, the first time I didn't do it. I think lots of mums would like to opt out.

missytabitha · 11/03/2011 21:08

Would second 'Interruptingcows' sunflower plants idea. We did piece of cake and a packet of (cheap) seeds as also don't like the plastic rubbish that is in some that you end up binning at least half of it. Like the idea of with seeds or plants it is a more lasting and practical gift.

moominthecorner · 11/03/2011 21:34

Oh God, now I'm thinking all the parents are going to hate me - I just spent the evening stuffing party bags with mindless tat for ds' 5th birthday bash thinking that I'd done really well because I've come in at less than £1 a bag. Why didn't i think of the seeds idea? I love that!

OP your sister needs some perspective. YANBU.

GORGEOUSX · 11/03/2011 21:37

Moo LOL! Console yourself in the knowledge that DD2 is 15 and comes home with the damned things!

Original poster

JanetPlanet · 12/03/2011 07:51

That's in then! Party bags are definitely not happening. Some other great ideas though. I'm going to do balloons stuffed with sweets and biscuits with each child's name on it.

OP posts:

moominthecorner · 12/03/2011 18:12

love the biscuits idea...stealing that for next year!

GwendolineMaryLacey · 12/03/2011 18:20

Is that a party bag in effect though? You're still giving them something to take away. I am furiously anti party bags, have sworn never to do them.

shemademedoit · 12/03/2011 18:47

I like sending the kids home with something. Recently we've had craft activities (thank you baker ross) so the kids go home with something they've made. For my littlest, one year I made loads of biscuits and had the kids ice and decorate them to take home.

TysonNobdie86 · 12/03/2011 18:49

Fifi sounds wise to me, I guess I will learn after ds's party

Spidermama · 12/03/2011 18:50

I hate the party bag industry. Sending them all off with landfill fodder. I would much rather spend the time and money on decent food, and maybe a prize or two for the games.

Party bags are shit. I have four kids and I gave them up ages ago. We have fab parties so nobody minds too much. Sometimes they ask, and I just smile and say, 'No we don't do party bags.'

I wrap up cake for them to take home. I bake it myself because I've saved time by NOT having to buy party bags.

bodiddly · 12/03/2011 19:06

All the parties we go to around here all do a book (from book people or red house/bananas) and a piece of cake. If you shop around you can get a book or sticker book for 20-50p!

HipHopopotomus · 12/03/2011 19:15

last party bag we got had a toy gun in it . DD ate the organic rasins but thankfully the gun (water pistol) was pocketed by me and never mentioned by her again. I'm trying not to be over PC about it, but it was modelled to look like a 'proper' gun & I think 3 is just too young for that crap.

I didn't do party bags at DD's last party, but I gave the kids all bubbles to take home (£2 for 6 from Sainsburys) & they were make up.

TheVisitor · 12/03/2011 19:19

Party bags are a no no here. All children learn is that they get given presents for attending someone else's party. Kids get cake and a balloon and that's it from my house. Mind you, saying that, I'm not doing parties at all this year. The triplets turn 12 next week and DD will be getting a pamper session with 2 friends, and the boys will be scuba diving with 2 friends each (£12.50 a head!!!!) That'll be it then.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 12/03/2011 19:33

Party bags were invented to put the cake in.

Not to fill with semi lethal crap (dramatic moi?). I HATE the stuff that goes in them. Water ballons, tiny bouncy balls, cars with wheels that fall off etc
I spend days after fishing small bits of plastic out of mouths, noses and ears (DC's not mine)

GilmoreGeek · 12/03/2011 19:35

I think some nice craft activity is best, they can take that home. I really like the sunflower idea.

I am not from the UK so this might be a daft question but why do you give all the kids cake? Do they not eat the cake at the party?

startail · 12/03/2011 19:52

The cakes gone home, because by the time they had eaten Pizza and jelly, their mum's had arrived (they mucked up the timing by wanting to play in the garden first). No party bags as they will get their glass painting back when it's dried and cooked.

Sorry not much help to mum's of small people, but a craft that works really well with 10-11 year old girls who want to invite more friends than can sleep over.

mizu · 12/03/2011 19:59

My dd is having a 5th party soon, only 5 girls from school and a couple of cousins at home and the party bags are going to be an easter egg (cadburys egg heads i think they are) and a balloon and a piece of cake.

Can't bear all that crap that you sometimes get in party bags.

MigratingCoconuts · 12/03/2011 20:01

I use paper bags for party bags, ans one year I did a lucky dip at the end of the party.

The worst I went to was a party for my then 3 year old where it was a party 'backpack' with the usual tat inside. unbelievable!

GORGEOUSX · 12/03/2011 20:04

Gilmore Usually the birthday cake is wheeled out towards the end of the party, so the little horrors darlings sing happy birthday and then run around going mental, from all the Es they've just consumed.

Whilst this is going on the mother of the birthday child is slicing the cake up into slithers portions and wrapping each piece into a napkin.

By then the parents have arrived to take their horrors DC home, and the hostess can't get rid of them quick enough.

That's why they eat the cake at home

GilmoreGeek · 12/03/2011 20:18

Ah, that's fair enough. Probably depends on how the party is structured? I remember that my parties usually started in the afternoon with hot chocolate and cake, then the running around and being crazy and then ended with some sort of dinner.
We ate the cake again the next day (or whatever was leftover) so we couldn't have possibly given it away (at least not with me being super greedy )

Being an adult now though I can totally see why you wouldn't want the kids to eat twice at your house, haha.

girliefriend · 12/03/2011 20:25

Oh dear I must be one of the parents you lot hate as I feel the party bags are one of things worth doing if you are going to do a party.

I think party bags, the cake and pass the parcel are the things kids expect.

But thats just my opinion

NorthernGobshite · 12/03/2011 20:33

I think your sister is being very unsupportive given your financial situation.

I don't think kids give a shit about party bags as they're full of crap anyway.

If its going to stretch your budget and make you stressed don't do them. I would never judge a parent for lack of party bag.

StarExpat · 12/03/2011 21:18

My DS is only 2 and hasn't yet been to one of these parties but in response to the last post I really, really hope he never ever "expects" anything from someone else at someone else's birthday party. If it is given, appreciatively received, but never expected. My parents raised my sister and I this way and it definitely worked from a very young age. I only hope I can do the same for my DS.

Cringing at the idea of him walking into a party with expectations of something that he will receive.

StarExpat · 12/03/2011 21:20

Sorry x post that was a reply to gf

PurpleCrazyHorse · 12/03/2011 23:29

I hope to do some low-level party bag (Red House book + cake + balloon) when DD is old enough but wouldn't want to spend a fortune or fill them with tat. When the time comes, it might just be a slab of cake in a napkin

Do whatever you want, the kids won't care after a few minutes. You could give them the balloons you've blown up for the party (saves having a house full of them) or get some mini bags of sweets / fun sized choc bars? Or an activity could be to decorate a biscuit (then pop in a bag with some cake to take home)

Anyway, have a brilliant party :)

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