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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not bother with party bags?

88 replies

JanetPlanet · 11/03/2011 10:31

My temporary contract has ended so I'm not working and I resent having to spend money on frigging bouncy balls etc when I've made an effort on food, drink, balloons and cake. However, my sister says party bags are expected and her kids will be 'devastated' if they don't get one!
Sorry if this issue has been done to death.

OP posts:
plupedantic · 11/03/2011 16:24

hahaha, post, if I hadn't another idea for presents, that 10-15 books for £10 would be my birthday presents this year, not even party favours! Shock

I'm a meanie.

InterruptingCow · 11/03/2011 16:28

A friend of mine had the kids planting sunflower seeds in yoghurt pots as an activity and they took them home instead of party bags. It only cost the price of a small bag of compost and a packet of seeds and my DSs loved watching their sunflowers grow and then planting them out in the garden.

Carrotsandcelery · 11/03/2011 16:36

I think the majority of parents would thank you from the bottom of their purses. They cost a fortune; they are usually rubbish; they are rarely environmentally sound and they just add to the grabby culture that our dcs seem to be raised in.
Being invited to a party ought to be enough fun and if it is not then it is time some children learned, gently, that it is!

plupedantic · 11/03/2011 16:42

InterruptingCow, you can interrupt a discussion about party bags anytime!

snoozin · 11/03/2011 16:45

When my 2 boys get back from parties, the toys in the party bag get 'put away' as i cannot stand most of the trinkets they usually get (whistles/rubber balls, etc) sometimes they happen to get regifted...maybe you have a stash of these to redistribute?

amidaiwish · 11/03/2011 16:47

well the kids will be disappointed, but ooh for about 2 seconds
but you will see those 2 seconds so you have to be able to cope with it!

dd2 was at a party last weekend and the host had invited 40 kids. as they were leaving everyone was handed a book (book people multipacks) and a chocolate cupcake. some of the kids were a bit gutted but honestly within 2 seconds they were stuffing that cake in their mouth and getting in the car, they were hardly what i would call "devastated" Grin. tbh i think the cupcake would have been enough and the book didn't add much (not in a party bag, just the book).

kids were all 4 and 5 btw.

choccyp1g · 11/03/2011 16:48

The only good thing about party bags (aka "bugger-off bags") is that they indicate politely that it is TIME TO GO.
Giving out slices of cake in a bag would have the same effect, as would clearing up around them, saying "thank you for coming".

amidaiwish · 11/03/2011 16:48

but they don't have to be expensive
a pack of sweets
a bit of cake
a pencil
a sticker

it doesn't need to be more than that, but personally if you don't want to do them then don't.

Ineedalife · 11/03/2011 16:51

I haven't done party bags for the last 3 years for Dd3, she gives everyone a packet of sweets and a piece of cake as they leave and no one has ever complained.

OP your sis should be ashamed of herselfShock.

Carrotsandcelery · 11/03/2011 16:52

You can make the same point about leaving with the cake and balloon too.

fifi25 · 11/03/2011 17:44

after a really awful indoor bouncy castle party whilst 7 months pregnant i gave out them baloons with rice in. It took us an hour to blow 30 up then there was ructions when some burst on the way out and i had no spares. Ive got 3 kids and now only do tea parties in the house Smile

Emmanana · 11/03/2011 19:31

Have you seen these?
Grab a couple of packets of felt tips from the pound shop.
This way, they might be quiet for 10 minutes and get something to take home with a cake!

TysonNobdie86 · 11/03/2011 19:42

fifi why was it awful, the indoor bouncy castle party? Im having one this year with 12x 3 year olds? Any tips to avoid a disaster :)

jenga079 · 11/03/2011 19:46

My five year old niece came to my 30th birthday party last year and started crying when it was time to leave. We asked her what was wrong and she said "Why didn't I get a party bag?" Bless! We had to run round the house shoving plastic toys from cereal packets into one of the gift bags I'd got from my birthday.

For my next birthday there will be party bags Smile

But no, OP, YANBU.

fifi25 · 11/03/2011 20:04

Tyson - dont do it lol. It was horrible. One boy fell over and had a huge egg on his head. Kids banging into each other. The kids just went mental on it. Mine were 4. The one i got you were only allowed so many kids on but no one would listen so i ended up sitting on he ramp. I cant believe i didnt go into labour or get sued off one of the injured kids.

12 will probably be ok, i had 28 i think Envy not

UniS · 11/03/2011 20:11

send them home with a bit of cake OR a pack of haribo ( a small one, the 10p jobs) and a balloon. Last two parties DS has been at have done that NOT party bags.

plus it gets the balloons OUT of your house straight after the party... a good move IMHO.

TysonNobdie86 · 11/03/2011 20:13

28 Shock and at 7 months pg, you must be super woman Grin

fifi25 · 11/03/2011 20:23

Tyson - Fecking stupid woman more like, its put me off parties for life Grin now 2 youngest have a tea party, a bit of a boogie in the living room and some party games. They seem happy with that. The 9 year old had a movie night and sleepover on her last one

shemademedoit · 11/03/2011 20:24

I just do Kinder Eggs!

Sarraburd · 11/03/2011 20:29

YANBU

Am one of five. We started on balloons and a bit of cake. By child four partybagitis had set in but my mother refused to do them on principle. Most kids were all fine with cake (and the lucky first few to leave, a balloon). Anyone who dared complain never braved my mother's death stare again Grin

A survey of my kids suggests all they really care about post 5 is the sweets anyway. 10p haribo star mix bingo, if you do want to cave.

But really if SIL/sis (can't remember which) cares that much why cant she bring her own party bags. and how RUDE to bludgeon you about your own party. But perhaps it would be a good lesson for her kids not to get them for once - entitlement etc.

That said I'm a complete child and do love doing party bags - but would never compromise on my child's party/cake etc to do so if times tight.

GORGEOUSX · 11/03/2011 20:31

Janetplanet YADNBU. Nobody needs to go home with a bag of rubbish at the end of a party. If your sister's DC are going to be 'devastated' because they don't receive a party bag, she must be a dreadful parent as they are clearly in need of psychological counselling!

I never bought into this personally. Like you, I always made sure my DCs parties were lovely by providing lovely food and drinks etc. and trying to ensure all had a jolly good time; as far as I'm aware none of the DC have been psychologically damaged by way of being devastated, at not taking home a bag of rubbish to add to the rubbish they already possess.

COCKadoodledooo · 11/03/2011 20:46

We did a pinata for ds1's last party (he was 6, it was his first party..). last thing before the end, once they'd bashed the crap out of it there was a mad scramble for as many sweets as they could stuff in their pockets.

COCKadoodledooo · 11/03/2011 20:47

meant to say, that and a piece of cake each was all they got.

GORGEOUSX · 11/03/2011 20:49

Oh yes, Penatas are brilliant - I agree.

ambarth · 11/03/2011 20:59

I would be relieved if dd went to a party and didn't get a party bag.I feel I should provide them because everyone else does even when I can't afford it. I would feel more confident if someone else rebelled first.