"I only cleaned the kitchen two days ago" and other jewels

[OracleInaCoracle]

I have been v ill this week with my teitze's. no grip or feeling in right hand and in a lot of pain. so dh has had to take over my normal duties. namely washing up, cooking, cleaning, ironing, drying clothes, putting them away, doing ds's lunch box, food shopping, separating food into portions... all the stuff that I do that never really seems to get noticed.

I ventured into the kitchen yesterday and it was a tip. the surfaces were covered in crumbs and sticky, the washing up hadnt been done, there were piles of clothes everywhere. now, Im not houseproud. I couldnt care less if my skirting boards are dusty, but I do care about the kitchen. so, I started trying to tidy up (not easy) dh asked what I was doing, I said (quite huffily) "cleaning, what does it look like" to which he replied "I only tidied it two days ago"

kitchens are different to bedrooms and bathrooms and even living rooms. they need the surfaces wiping everytime you prepare food. the washing up needs doing 3 times a day. the floor needs mopping at least once a day. the washing needs folding as soon as its dry, this makes it easier to iron.

so, AIBU to be an ungrateful twonk who is in a bad mood because im in pain and taking it out on dh for being a bit dim?

What you need to understand is that men don't see dirt until it goes over a certain threshold - its all or nothing with them.

The concept of tidying up as they go along is an alien.

So YABU a bit but as you've been poorly you're excused .

But seriously, you mop your kitchen floor EVERY day? Is this a lot or am I a really dirty mare?

No. Not at all. YANBU. But as my husband always says (after we've made up usually) "I'm only a man. I can't think of two things at once like you do, so I don't always get this kind of thing right!"

In his defence, I've been PT at work for a while now and he still pulls his weight with cooking and cleaning. He is, however, still a man, no matter how modern he might be, and he still doesn't see the dirt I see, doesn't do the corners I'd do, and doesn't take half as long as me either :)

I hope you're feeling better soon and, though I no YANBU, it does sound like your DH is being a fairly typical man and getting tied up with the food prep/child care side of thing and not realising that you need to do the other stuff regularly too!!!

agree with you except the bit about mopping the floor - seriously, every day??

yabu, but excused

Washing up 3 times a day? I wash up once a day unless I run out of teaspoons.

I do agree that surfaces need wiping. But daily floor washing? Mine is lucky if it sees a mop once a week.

And I never iron, ever. The one thing I left with my ex h was the iron.

mercedes. we have a JRTX who gets filthy he sleeps in the kitchen and we have pale laminate flooring, so it gets dirty very easily.

dh is v good and we do share the housework. he does the hoovering and tidies up a lot. I am being an ungrateful mare. but.... arrrrgggghhhhh

manic, as part of dh's "we only need 4 of everything, one for each of us and one for a guest" rampage we use everything up v quickly

The answer to that manic is to buy more teaspoons

what Mercedes said so you are being a weeny bit unreasonable.

You could have said 'can you clean the kitchen please, it's a mess'

Bloody hell you mop everyday?
My children run screaming when I get the mop out because they rarely see such a strange looking thing.

I have plenty of teaspoons. 6 is just not enough

I can understand the floor washing (I have no idea what a JRTX is but am presuming it's some kind of beast).

YANBU

I left a Shephards Pie dish in soak on Monday night. IT WAS STILL THERE YESTERDAY when I got in from work. The sink was literally a slime pit.

Bearing in mind I cooked the sodding thing, and put all the dishes in the dishwasher after and wiped the sides, you would of thought DP could wash the dish for me. Apparently not.

lol, bouncing. in my defence, I never clean the oven or do the "pulling out all the appliances" thing.

Haha I mop about once a year. This is why I laid down dark wood flooring over the horrid pale gritty council floor. That looked dirty when it was clean!
Washing up once a day max. Hoovering usually once a day because of animal hair. Ironing never.

Washing up gets done once a day, maybe twice if we've created extra, but I don't believe in wasting hot water for a couple of items. Floors get swept a couple of times a week, mopped once a week by the cleaner, maybe in between times if really honking. And we have a dog too, and a crawling baby. He's growing up robust, with a healthy tolerance of dirt

Your standards of cleanliness are higher than your DH's - cleaning it 2 days ago is still pretty good (vaguely tries to remember when kitchen floor was last mopped).

Also, presumably your DH is doing everything that you usually do on top of everything that he usually does. That means something has to give. When one of us is ill, we accept that our usual very average standards can't be maintained.

I love ironing. its usually my monday night, dh is at work, I will watch shite tv and thats balanced by the virtuousness of the ironing.

manic, its a jack russel cross, he has long hair and is v lazy

I have about 20 teaspoons. No lie. Wash up once a day (sometimes I miss a day too!).

redsky, oh, i know Im being totally unreasonable and he is doing pretty well.

re the floor thing, i think it depends on what colour your floor and units are. as i said, our floor is v pale and we have white units (new kitchen this year, woop) so it needs cleaning more often.

You.Love.Ironing.

That has to be the most outrageous statement I have ever read on Mumsnet.

Long hair you say? Mop pole up the bum and the dog can do the floor. Job's a good 'un.

Yanbu my dp is the same and doesn't "see" what needs doing. Pisses me right off and I'm healthy and think your dh should have more thought.

'the floor needs mopping at least once a day' - why? Mine gets done once a week if that; it's not as if you eat off the floor is it? Have you got pets with muddy feet or something?

Anyway, back to your question - YABU in part, I think. Fair enough about surfaces needing to be wiped, but surely the washing up can just be done when it needs to be, and the floor can wait a few days can't it? Making rules like doing the washing up '3 times a day' makes you sound a little OCD - sorry.

Personally I'm much more fussy about bathrooms than kitchens. Nothing more yucky than a loo not being cleaned everyday (when you have a house full of boys, anyway) [boak emoticon].

thecrackfox, I really do. I'll egt my coat now...

manic now theres an idea!

I object to "men don't see dirt until it goes over a certain threshold - its all or nothing with them"

Penises and Y-chromosomes do not influence seeing dirt.

Would you accept a man saying "women don't notice engine noise, they wouldn't know a car needed seeing to unless it was on fire"?