To cut costs by reducing my family's food quality rather than give up my expensive haircuts?

[Tortoiseonthehalfshell]

Ok, ok, deliberately provocative title for a basic WWYD. And I'm asking for financial advice in AIBU, so I am prepared for Opinions, capital letters.

We've happily lived within our income for years and years, but borrowed against the mortgage to reno our kitchen, so we have a debt to repay, albeit as slowly as we like.

There aren't a lot of areas we can cut back on. I could squeeze every area slightly but it would be a lot of effort for really not much money. I just deleted a long explanation of how cheaply we live because it was dull, but neither of us has expensive hobbies, buys CDs or computer games or expensive clothes, our social life is parks/picnics/free toddler activities/dinners with friends, and we're both DIYers. This is all just because we are boring sods naturally frugal; we lived like this even when we both worked fulltime.

There are two areas where there is some real fat to cut. One is food, and the other is my hair. If we cut one or the other, we'd add enough to what we currently save in order to pay down the debt fast enough.

Food: we cook from scratch so the budget isn't taken up with processed meals, but I spend around $200 (150quid) a week for two adults and a toddler. Our meals are meat or seafood heavy, which is made worse because I buy from a local butcher who sells free-range, ethical, great quality meat which is probably 150% of the price of other butchers. We tend to have good cheese, pate and posh crackers in the house, mineral water, wine, etc. My two year old is familiar with smoked salmon, olives and Brie, which is ridiculous because she'd be just as happy with cheddar and pickles but she eats what we do, and this is how we eat. We don't have junk food or snacks, but everything we do have is unncessarily good quality. I'm pretty sure I can cut this by a third without compromising on fresh ingredients and well cooked meals, it would just mean going to a cheaper butcher, making a couple of vegetarian meals a week, buying cheaper cuts.

Hair: I spend a fortune, frankly. It's long, and only gets cut every 3 months, but I go to an expensive hairdresser. The real expensive is the colour; it's coloured and streaked, and that happens every six weeks. I spend about 100 quid a month on it, all up. If I coloured it at home and found a cheaper cutter, it would go down to about 20 quid a month since it's only cut every three.

Here is the justification part: I couldn't do anything like the streaking at home. I'm mousy with a lot of premature grey, so the blonde streaks help cover the roots much better than any solid colour ever has. The cut is the first cut I have ever been really happy with, it's very low maintenance and looks classy but funky, and professional enough for my job. I've never found a cheaper hairdresser that can do as good a job, maybe I'm unlucky? I'm not particularly slim and not particularly pretty, but the one thing I do have, now, is great hair. It makes me feel good.

I prefer to cut down the food budget, but AIBU?

I'd do both to be honest.

We eat very well and the weekly shop for 5 of us (including 3 adults) is less than yours.

Get your hair trimmed every 10wks and buy a box of colour. I really doubt you'll notice the difference on either score.

Oh, I will absolutely notice! I did that for a decade before giving in and spending money on proper colour and cuts. Which is not to say that I shouldn't do what you're suggesting, but trust me, I know that it will look completely different, because I've done both before.

It sounds as if your hair is important to you, and there's certainly plenty of leeway in the food budget. Eat less meat, but stay with the good butcher; presumably he does cheaper cuts as well as eg fillet steak?

YANBU

It sounds fine - you're not exactly putting the family on bread and water for the sake of your gorgeous hair!

Although I would recommend trying to shave (not literally!) a little money from the hair side of things - could it be stretched to dye every 6.5/7 weeks and a haircut every 13/14 weeks? This would perhaps make things easier to reconcile for you - a small token sacrifice but the principle is there.

(You are my very first AIBU so I hope you are honoured!)

I'd cut the food budget and look into a mobile hairdresser coming to do your highlights; they tend to be cheaper because they haven't got the salon overheads, or look into whether the local hairdressing college do model nights - some salons do model nights too if they have trainees.

I really do think I'd stop the smoked salmon, brie and stuff for a toddler. Really; make it a treat, not a commodity.

TBH I used to colour my own hair and go to el cheapo hairdresser to have it cut, and once I had the money I started having it done professionally, and it does make a difference.

And I spend a fortune on food as well.

I wouldn't want to give either up tbh.

God. I don't know. Is there nothing else you can cut down? Seems a shame to change 2 things which are evidently so important to you.

Well even if you didnt need to cut back, your food bill make me We dont spend that much with 7 of us, although admittedly we dont eat that much meat.

Like Worraliberty said, could you do both? Would more regular trims be cheaper than a big cut every 3 months? And could you do the base colour at home, with a colour your stylist can then do the highlights over the top of? I know what you mean about it covering the grey better, my sisters hair is the same. But I am sure with a bit of creative thinking you could find a way around it.

I spend around £20 per person in this house and we eat well, from scratch. You can cut down on the food costs considerably.
I would say that you need to discuss options withyour OH and come to a mutual agreement about what you re going to do. You can't choose in isolation, your decisiosn have a bearing on all of you.
Especially if losing your hair pampering sends you into a spiral of depression, bad temper and general negativity. Or losing the indulgent food does the same for your OH.

Yeah but if the cut is that good to begin with, any hairdresser can trim it. That way you could go for the 'style cut' just once a year?

Streaks I wouldn't worry about, there are some lovely solid colours about.

But anyway, I think you should compromise..cut down on a bit of the grub and cut back (pardon the pun!) on the hair a bit.

Well, food is quite a bit more expensive in Australia, bear in mind; you can safely take 20% of the top of that just because of the country I'm in. I honestly buy no processed stuff (well, the occasional tin of tomatoes) but I buy good coffee, expensive meat, posh cheese, etc. And yes, way too meat heavy. I realised that on Sunday we had three meals all with meat in. And yes, I agree Lewisfan, I sort of want to cut the food down just for that reason. But she eats what we eat, so it's all of us or none of us.

GetOrf, I don't know, but I'm always willing to take advice! I buy occasional books cheap through Book Depository but mostly use libraries. I belong to a toy library for the child. I make my own playdough, and only spend money on cheap craft supplies for her - markers, paper, felt, etc. We do no paid activities. We eat out about once a month at a cheapish Chinese restaurant. All our clothes are bought on sale, I'm the only one with an office dress code so the others knock about in jeans and Ts. We make most of our own furniture, or I buy from thrift stores and repurpose things; DD's 2nd birthday play kitchen was a $5 TV cabinet to which I took a jigsaw and a hammer, some paint and a few accessories. Our only holidays are to visit my parents or his, which are more obligations than anything else. We run one economical car, which we need because his commute by PT would be 1.5 hours each way, and our area is pedestrian-unfriendly and not well served by PT anyway, and, toddler.

Keep the space between the colouring the same but spread out the cutting?

Get a cook book with recipes that are from scratch using cheap, seasonal ingredients

You all realise you're being nice to me? In AIBU? Although I'm talking about money?

Do both clear the debt ASAP then have fab hair later.

Tortoise- you sound like me! Food is my only real expense once the bills are paid, and I am loathe to cut quality because I feel that, especially while they are little and growing, the kids need decent sources of protein etc.

Like you, I use a fishmonger and a butcher. I've tried going back to supermarket stuff, but we all notice the difference, and I'm not always happy about the source/ quality. My problem is that I feed my dad every night, and he and DH are both big eaters! If a recipe says it serves 4, they would eat at least 1.5 portions each.

DH often moans about the money I spend on food, but if the cupboard is bare he also moans! I try to cut costs by buying cheap subs for the things that don't matter so much (eg DH's "economy" jaffa cakes, that he eats in 1 go, despite moaning that they are not "real" jaffa cakes ) I was going to say experiment with Aldi, but I'm not sure they have it in Australia! I am a bit of a coffee snob, but their columbian coffee is perfectly acceptable and half the price. There are a few things I go there for, including cheeses, that are far cheaper.

I have actually become slightly obsessive about knowing prices I always look for offers on the things I use and shop around- appreciate it's not always easy to get the time to do this.

My hair fell by the wayside years ago I do spend the money on a good (ie expensive!) hairdresser, but only afford it twice a year, so look like a dog for the other 10 months!

Keep the hair thing going - just think it's important. A home visiting hairdresser will be good and cheaperif you can find one though .

Get creative with food shopping; cheaper shops for basic groceries, pasta rice, tins etc and your regular good butcher for meat - try cheaper cuts, fish. Generally include more veggie dinners - better anyway to not eat meat so much.

Shit, you're right, we're being nice to you... Ok, scrap the "cheaper cuts from the good butcher" post, you're obviously completely narcissistic and should shave your head right now to combat this evil trait!

No Aldi.

Fair trade coffee is also one of my things.

See, this is the other thing; cutting back on food is cutting back on ethically sourced food.

Keep the hair but be prepared to sacrifice alcohol, some of the meat (bulk out with pulses), most fish and swap fancy stuff for less fancy.

You could also grow your own herbs and salad leaves which is so much cheaper than buying from stores. Or find a way of earning more money.

I cut our weekly spend by about 70% doing the above but also sacrificed the hair too. It now looks shit and I've had to go back on the booze to cope.

I'd cut back on the food. Even from a health point of view it sounds like a lot of saturated fat. Have meat less and find out what you can ethically scrimp on. Eg I would never have less than a free range chicken but I would buy any lamb.

I've stopped spending on my hair and I miss it.

We already grow some vegetables and herbs; DD has her own kitchen garden to help us, she is very proud of it. I do know how to cook cheaply and healthily, I'm very cheered that you all think it's alright to do so.

Was a bit worried that it was just totally unethical. Can see the headlines now; Mother Scrimps On Food For Small Children, Gets Expensive Haircuts.

Leave your husband (that way you save on food and cab ditch the car but maintain haircuts and YOUR food)

Sorted

[dusts hands]

Oh, thank you, I love it when other expats come on and agree that food is direly expensive here. My Australian husband will not believe me, he keeps saying "but they grow the food here! They don't grow the food in England, there'e no room. Or sun. How can it be cheaper?". And then he wrings his hands, and it's all very traumatic.

I was actually vegetarian for ten years, only gave it up three years ago when I was pregnant and had gestational diabetes. I think I am making up for lost bacon, or something.