To want to take 6month DD to Baby Ballet?

[MillieMoosMummy]

My DD is actually 5 months but baby ballet starts at 6 months (anyone have any experience of this??)

My MIL basically told me I shouldn't, in front of all of DH's family. She thinks DD 'Does enough already!'

I felt like she was implying that DD isn't having a good time, or that I'm not thinking of her, but I swear she likes her actvities.

At swimming lessons she smiles and splashes, at Gymboree she actually laughs and giggles.

We also do Catapillar music and go to rhyme time at the library.

In four weeks we are starting 'Gymbabes' at Tumbletots.

I tried P & T groups but found them really cliquey.

I'm quite upset about MIL saying this and really enjoy DD's activities.

AIBU? Is she right?

Thanks Jooly :)

But read your OP back. It's not a critism, it's an opinion.

I could honestly imagine my Mum saying the exact same thing. She was a very down to earth straight talking Irish woman lol...I'm sure if she were alive she'd say something like "Jaysus Christ, ballet for a 5 month old..they'll have 'em Line Dancing next!"

But it would just literally be her opinion and the fact she's of a generation that had babies and got on with it, if that makes sense?

No - it was her tone. I've been with DH just over 8 years and she's never spoken to me like that before.

It felt like a criticism. That's why I was trying to see if she had a point.

Well maybe she thinks you're way OTT with all this..but it's your first child and you're happy so feck anyone else's opinion (including mine cos I still think you're barking lol)

Anyway, far too late for me...so goodnight x

you see most think it oTT

Lovenamechange - at the risk of sounding snobby or stuck up or whatever it is people wrongly think I am...

I actually think most people claim to find it OTT because they a) don't have the time, b) don't have the money and c) couldn't be bothered.

I do have the time, I can afford it and I can be bothered.

There also seemed to be a bit if am emphasis on 'why not go to surestart or the park.' telling me that if it was a free activity they could all do, you'd all love it.

Surestart or gymboree, they both take up time!

If it makes you happy then I don't think it is actually going to do your DD any harm, I also don't believe it will do her any good either, she is just happy to be with you.

Personally I can't be arsed.

I just about manage a playgroup and baby swimming, anymore and I would feel like I was drifting into crazy mummy land. I go to playgroup for DS2 to freerange with some other babies and play with some different toys, but more importantly to have a natter and some cake. I go to swimming because of the huge drowning hazard in the backyard and I need him to not panic when he falls in and reach for the side (already seems to be getting this).

Whatever floats your boat.

Who cares... it gives you an opportunity to get out of the damn house and meet people and yes, DD is only 5 months, but I think getting out and about regularly benefits them at some level. Start inviting some of those moms round though now for 'playdates', which really are just coffee time for mums, especially at this age when, for the most part, they just lay/sit/stare/chew on something, and not off in a bedroom screaming, "No mine" and then someone is crying.

Yabu. Pfb.

Babies that age just don't need that kind of stuff! They just enjoy daily life. And your suggested reasons people find it ott are inaccurate and patronising.

If that's the first criticism from your mil and is on such a minor issue, you are lucky.

If you and baby enjoy it, fair dos, carry on, but don't kid yourself that doing so many classes somehow means you're making time for her / giving her "the best" / making more of an effort than other mums.

In some ways it is far more effort entertaining a baby in simpler ways, at classesmthey do most of the work for you.

Are you by any chance due to return to work soon and trying to cram this stuff in before you do?

YANBU. Do whatever you and your DD enjoy best. Nothing wrong with structured classes if that is what you both enjoy.

I do think you need to be more confident in your ability as a parent though. You will face lots of criticism over the next 17 1/2 years about how you parent your DD from all quarters, not just MIL - you need to learn to let it go/shrug it off, otherwise it's going to be a long old haul.

Really quite astounded at the response you've had here.

So what if it's PFB?! It's lovely that you're spending so much time doing activities with your DD. You enjoy it, she enjoys it, what the hell is the problem?!

It's got nothing to do with your MIL, and even if she did have serious concerns, she could have dealt with it more tactfully, IMO.

I used to love filling our week with varied activities, and yes it probably was as much for me as it was DS, but so what?!

Unfortunately I've been stuck in with DS2 for the past 6 months, but next week I'm going to be resuming a similar weekly routine as I had with DS1 and I can't wait!!

Good on you for not sitting on your arse everyday watching Jeremy Kyle

Dozer - when did I say I was 'giving her the best'

And the reasons I put for people not being able to do it weren't my reasons, they were from this thread.

And I really don't get all this 'pfb'. Yes, I think she's perfect, but don't all mums think their children are perfect... 2nd, 3rd, 4th??

What does this even mean??

And Dozer - I'm trying to decide about work. I might do some freelance but DH has said I don't need to go back so not sure.

I really don't think she needs to do another class. I think she does far enough already in her schedule.

Scarlett - you think 3 hours of activity across a whole week is far too much??

Why did you ask if you are so sure you are right?

@morloth

Have you heard of 'enouragement'?

I think it's up to you what you want to take her to and at the moment I can't see it doing any harm.

However, I really don't like it when slightly older children say 2 years to 10 years have too many activities though. I have found with mine that the more you do the less time they have to entertain themselves. They then become incapable of playing on their own and want way more attention.

I think well rounded children need time just doing nothing as well as structured and unstructured play/learning.

Personally I tried a few structured classes with my DC's but didn't go more than once to any whilst they were under 1 because I didn't feel they gave value for money. But everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

YANBU

I think these activities are good mainly for you and as a consequnce your DD. Of course, you could do all of these things with her by yourself without needing a 'class' but I need the structure and interest of going somewhere new to stimulate me to do different things. Being a new SAHM with very young children can be quite isolating and parent and baby groups can be very hit and miss - I think 'classes' are a great solution.

Don't bother telling your MIL in future.

First why are you on AIBU if you can't take criticism? Did you expect everyone to say, of course you are right and you MIL should but out?

Second, I hate to think how many activities your DD will be doing when she is 5. Baby's need benign neglect a lot of the time.

Thirdly, before you are so dismissive of another's disability I suggest you learn a bit more about it. Maybe you should be doing an evening course in disability awareness. I found your remarks offensive, as I'm sure lots of other readers would have, I just hope your precious one and only has no trace of any hidden disabilities.

Mummytime - are you saying I neglect my baby? Or that babies need time to be neglected?? I couldn't quite tell.

And (yawn!) I didn't dismiss someones disability... I doubted that she had one. Name changed from yesterday by any chance??

Not unreasonable but probably unnecessary. It is more for your benefit than your DD's.

The money you're spending on organised activities for such a young baby could be put to much better use, whether you can afford it or not.

I would advise not booking any courses but just taking things week by week, the weather will soon be improving and you'll get just as good quality time out of the house together on a blanket in the park. They're my happiest memories of maternity leave with DS.

Well, it's up to you really. Personally, I'd stick the money in a savings account/burn it, dress her in a tutu once a week and sod about with her for half an hour. Because 'Baby Ballet' sounds like toss to me, a cynical way of hoovering money out of people's pockets.