To think it's disgusting to do this in front of other people?

[SeeJaneKick]

Now....disclaimer...I am well known for being a bit OCD about certain things. I may need help and so I cannot judge what is reasonable and what isn't.

If I am being unreasonable I will deal with the situation...no harm done.

My MIL is staying in an apartment nearby...she's come from overseas as she does every year...she arrives here at 8.00am and leaves at around 7.00pm so is with DC and I all day. She wants all the time she can get with her granchildren so that's fine.

BUT...she picks her teeth with real energy after she eats anything....I'm not talking a subtle little dig...but a teeth bared, elbows out root and dig....inspecting what she gets type of thing. After a meal this can go on for around 15 minutes.

(faints)

She also seems to touch her face and head and hair CONSTANTLY....picking at loose flakes of skin....due I think to having dry skin...but it's REALLY grossing me out.

[gets up]

She's always done this....once during the last visit I couldn't bear it and said "Would you like to use the bathroom to brush your teeth?" to kind of make her realise what she was doing but she just said no!

And with the head picking thing I said "Do you have a headache?" and she sad "No" and I said "Oh right...it's just you keep rubbing your head and hairline"

and she said "Oh it's this dry skin." And carried on!!!

[faints again and doesn't get up]

HELP MEEEEEE! She's here with me every day for the next 4 weeks!

WTF can I DO?

It sounds like she has some bad manners but bits of skin/teeth pickings won't harm you so I would just try to:

1. serve food that is least likely to get in teeth
2. try to leave the room when she starts doing it

Oh god I would have to kill her.

That is vile.

Offer to help her find a product for her dry scalp and skin. :)

Feed her soup :)

And 3) follow her around with dettol and a cloth to wipe up the skin flakes

Ewww! YANBU, that is minging behaviour. It's the sort of thing that I would be dreading after every meal, and would be put off eating in anticipation of the disgusting event that was to follow.

I'm not sure there is anything you can do about it unless you are willing to seriously offend her though.

I feel really bad because she is lovely...but the manners are terrible!

It could be cultural. But her son isn't this way!
I tried that squeaky but she won't try it!

I so love your descriptions, OP, so funny.

Back onto the subject, it would drive me mad too... teeth picking and head scritching...

Give her a dustpan and brush perhaps?

God curly....but she's offending ME! Tell me what to do someone!

SJK

The teethpicking thing is nasty.

But what about the skin thing? My DP has psoriasis really badly and sometimes it just niggles/ itches unbearably. Admittedly one shouldn't pick at it in public but tbh I'd not draw attention to it if someone had a genuine problem like pso. or eczema.

Is there a medical reason for it?

As to what you can actually do... I feel your pain, totally, but I personally think that pointing out someone else's bad manners is almost always ruder than the manners themselves.

I think part of being well-bred () is stifling the pain of your offended feelings at moments like this. Practise gritting your teeth!

Oooh i feel your pain! Alas there's nothing you can do without being rude and hurting her feelings.
MY partners gran came to stay for a few days last year and insisted on using a glass from our kitchen cupboard to pee in during the night because she didn't want to go downstairs during the night to use the loo!
This alone is grounds for disowning DP entire family,but she would bring the glass, full to the brim, downstairs every morning and empty it in the kitchen sink before rinsing it and taking it back ready for anothers night of weeing!
Give me teeth picking any day!

It's not pso or eczema Revolting...it's just dry skin....I think the water affects her...but Gosh if it were me I would have some E45 with me and keep applying it IN PRIVATE!

Will try offering her soup tomorrow and a mini dustpan and brush as a side dish.

For pudding she's getting E45.

Can't you go out and leave her? I would.

Aw whaddya gonna do

You have a lovely MIL with unsightly habits, you could have a bitchbeast from hell with impeccable manners.

You've dropped the hints, they haven't worked, so just leave it now unless you're prepared to offend.

Grit your teeth and ignore!

:o

Oh Bettyboss! You beat me. Hands down. I can't COPE with that!

In the sink!!!

OMG, I would end up hating her and screaming at everyone.

I have no idea what you can do, but try not to be in the same room as her.

Oops...normally I would but she's hurt her blinking arm and needs a bit of help....shes having a hard time with basic cooking.

No bloody problem with GROOMING though has she? Eh? Eh? Has she?

Crazy my temper gets thin because of it...I know it sound dramatic but it does! I can't even look at her sometimes and shes the type who gets in your space too.

She has all her own teeth too!

Gross gross gross.

Oh dear. YANBU. It would gross me out if my own mother did this, nevermind MIL (luckily none of mine do it!)

May I ask how old is she? How do you get on, is she pleasant (ignoring her bad habits)? Any chance you could tell her that her habits make you feel rather unpleasant? Is she from a different culture where teeth-picking is acceptable (can't think of any such culture myself but hey, I am sure it is acceptable somewhere...)

I can imagine you'll be sick of her in 4 weeks so you should brace yourself and ask her to stop. Good luck btw...

Give her some sudocrem, that works miracles on dry skin.. almost an overnight cure.. and if she uses hairspray, that is probably the cause of it..

SeeJane, yes IN THE SINK!!! AAAArgh! But let's not allow my weird in laws to detract from yours!
You poor thing, you'll just have to grin and bear it. Good luck.

This is where your DH/DP steps in and has a quiet word with her.

bettybosseye - Your DP's gran must have completely lost the plot/her mind. Staying at someone else's house, peeing in the glass and emptying it in the kitchen sink .

If I get there one day please kill me.