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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's disgusting to do this in front of other people?

54 replies

SeeJaneKick · 08/03/2011 20:42

Now....disclaimer...I am well known for being a bit OCD about certain things. I may need help and so I cannot judge what is reasonable and what isn't.

If I am being unreasonable I will deal with the situation...no harm done.

My MIL is staying in an apartment nearby...she's come from overseas as she does every year...she arrives here at 8.00am and leaves at around 7.00pm so is with DC and I all day. She wants all the time she can get with her granchildren so that's fine.

BUT...she picks her teeth with real energy after she eats anything....I'm not talking a subtle little dig...but a teeth bared, elbows out root and dig....inspecting what she gets type of thing. After a meal this can go on for around 15 minutes.

(faints)

She also seems to touch her face and head and hair CONSTANTLY....picking at loose flakes of skin....due I think to having dry skin...but it's REALLY grossing me out.

[gets up]

She's always done this....once during the last visit I couldn't bear it and said "Would you like to use the bathroom to brush your teeth?" to kind of make her realise what she was doing but she just said no!

And with the head picking thing I said "Do you have a headache?" and she sad "No" and I said "Oh right...it's just you keep rubbing your head and hairline"

and she said "Oh it's this dry skin." And carried on!!!

[faints again and doesn't get up]

HELP MEEEEEE! She's here with me every day for the next 4 weeks!

WTF can I DO?

OP posts:
allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 08/03/2011 21:15

Surely its compulsive, rather than her doing it to bug you! Grin

I have trichotillomania, I can assure you I dont do it to piss off the world :(

bettybosseye · 08/03/2011 21:16

63BabyWipes I know, she is other wise a completely normal human being. She isn't demented or anything, just lazy with no shame!

Vicky2011 · 08/03/2011 21:18

I'm afraid Bettybosseye wins the prize here ShockShock

Original poster
SeeJaneKick · 08/03/2011 21:19

my MIL isn't an "old" MIL...she is a young 60 who still works and is as sharp and intelligent as anyone! More so.

NO excuse.

OP posts:
Original poster
SeeJaneKick · 08/03/2011 21:20

Yes Vicky...she does. I feel a tiny bit better now tbh.

Piss in a glass trumps flakes on the floor!

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 08/03/2011 21:20

Betty, could you not have offered the poor woman a plastic jug or something??? Shock

bettybosseye · 08/03/2011 21:22

It's not a prize i'd like to collect! I'm sure someone out there must have even more disgusting in laws than me?...(she asks hopefully)

Voddy · 08/03/2011 21:24

bettybosseye Oh my god that is awful! Was your DP mortified? I am Shock

thenameiwantedwastaken · 08/03/2011 21:25

Is anyone else's head itching now?

bettybosseye · 08/03/2011 21:25

Squeaky the first night she was there she took the glass and then it seemed rude to offer something else. I didn't want to make her feel like she'd done something wrong in using the glass. I know, i'm as weird as her!

Original poster
SeeJaneKick · 08/03/2011 21:26

Lol Betty....I usnderstand where you're coming from.

You couldn't say "Here...I got you a potty so you won't pee in my glass anymore"

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 08/03/2011 21:30

Aww Betty, I do feel a bit sorry for her. I can imagine it must be a trek for an old lady to get downstairs to the loo in the middle of the night.

She must have known before coming to you that the loo was downstairs though..

bettybosseye · 08/03/2011 21:31

My DP would kill me if he knew i was sharing his gran's secrets with the world!
Teeth picking and head scratching is still very gross! Not sure i could watch someone doing that stuff, at least my gran in law did the weeing in private!

Boohooyou · 08/03/2011 22:04

I need to know that the glass is long gone Betty.

I hate it when people chuck mop bucket water down the sink - gross.
Op what about giving her tooth picks, would that make it more bearable?

Whitewithnosugarplease · 08/03/2011 22:41

My FIL used to blow his nose halfway through every meal then hold his hanky out and inspect it! Ewwww. Yuk

Original poster
SeeJaneKick · 08/03/2011 22:45

No Boohooyou. It wouldn't. As I mentioned I am a bit OCD and I hate them.

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 08/03/2011 22:49

I am not OCD but that made my skin crawl a bit!

So no, YANBU but I cant think of anything to suggest that hasnt already been suggested!

Seabright · 08/03/2011 23:51

Could you treat her to a facial at a local salon? Might cure the dry skin?

Not sure what to do about the teeth, though

bupcakesandcunting · 09/03/2011 00:01

My mum sat and plucked her moustache whilst gawping at the gogglebox in front of DH and I the other week.

Very little will shock me after this but yanbu.

onceamai · 09/03/2011 00:02

I think I'd just deal with the teeth. Can you say, "if you don't want to do that in the bathroom, which is the custom here, we will leave you to it and depart elsewhere".

I'd find the 8am - 7pm bit more unreasonable tbh - that's really bad manners. At least she's staying in an apartment though - my MIL always outstays with us. And the super superior ex school teacher licks her plate and struggles with cutlery too.

StayFrosty · 09/03/2011 00:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rupert1 · 09/03/2011 00:20

Is she from the USA?

ChippingInMistressSteamMop · 09/03/2011 00:28

I would just say to the children 'come on - let's go into the other room and give Granny some privacy while she cleans her teeth' and if she follows you, do it again.

As for the 'picking dry skin' just hand her some E45 and tell her to apply it. 'You need to try this - the water clearly isn't agreeing with you and we can't have you flaking away on us now can we'.

Keep on about both until she gets it.

rupert1 · 09/03/2011 00:31

It makes me wonder what she gets up to behind closed doors Bathroom etc.Sit her down maybe over a cup of coffee and explain that she has revolting habits and this will be her last trip unless she changes.If she dosn't like it chuck her out straight away.

CalamityKate · 09/03/2011 00:32

Get the Hoover out, put the nozzle on and start hoovering her hairline. Smile brightly at her when lumps of hair go "FLUMP.... thhhhhbbbpppt" up the tube.

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