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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What's wrong with a tankini?

56 replies

baskingseals · 08/03/2011 17:57

9yo dd does swimming with the school for half a term each year. She has a hello kitty blue and red striped tankini. After swimming on Monday she told me that she had been told to wear a swimming costume, and she asked me why. I honestly couldn't answer her, and the more I think about this the crosser I get. What kind of message is the school giving? Am I really missing something here?

Would I be aibu to phone the school?

OP posts:
Goodynuff · 08/03/2011 18:00

I had to put my LO in a tankini, as her torso was too long for regular swim suits. If they were long enough, then they would be far too loose, and everything would show. Why would the school care, as long as she is decently covered?

NettoSuperstar · 08/03/2011 18:01

Why are you cross when you have no idea why she's been told to wear a costumeConfused

Yes, call the school, but talk to them, and find out why, before being cross.

worraliberty · 08/03/2011 18:03

I don't understand the 'what kind of message' bit?

Most schools give you a list of what the kids can/can't wear for PE and swimming. Ours are not allowed to wear beach shorts, bermuda shorts or bikinis and they must wear red swimming caps.

hockeyforjockeys · 08/03/2011 18:05

We have a policy of costumes only. Basically because it stops some parents sending their dd with some little strappy number which is not only inappropriate (and yes it is because its too sexual for a child), but is also impratical for swimming properly rather than lounging around the pool (if I'm going to do laps I'll always wear a costume as it lessons the risk of falling out our something becoming undone). I wouldn't allow a tankini because you will then get some trying to take the piss, and you get into a minefield at trying to decide if it is appropriate or not, which is hassle I just don't need. It is far easy to have one rule and that's it. Plus a lot of pools actually have the rule themselves for lessons, it's not the school's decision.

PonceyMcPonce · 08/03/2011 18:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 08/03/2011 18:07

A tankini is practically a swimming costume Confused

In fact you could say the shortie type ones cover more

FabbyChic · 08/03/2011 18:11

It no doubts says as part of her uniform that she needs a swimming costume, swimming at school is not a fashion parade.

cat64 · 08/03/2011 18:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
baskingseals · 08/03/2011 18:15

I think the reason I'm cross is that dd herself is unaware that her body could in any way be viewed sexually. So the message the school is giving is that girls should/need to cover up, which I then have to explain to dd, when actually I'd prefer not to.

I also don't really see why a bikini wouldn't be allowed unless it kept slipping off. We are talking about 8 and 9 year olds.

OP posts:
hockeyforjockeys · 08/03/2011 18:24

baskingseals if you take this view then girls shouldn't have a bikini top at all, bottoms at that age are enough to cover what needs to be covered. the bikini top to me indicates breasts being displayed in a sexual way as it is designed to show as much as possible withing the reams of decency. I always find young girls wearing small bikini tops strange and a bit too sexualised.

There are also 8 and 9 year olds who have started puberty so the issue of wearing bikins does become more sexualised.

beanlet · 08/03/2011 18:26

Is it possibly because the bottom part of (cheap) two-piece swimsuits have a habit of falling down if you are doing quite vigorous activity in them? Which IME (as a keen club swimmer in my childhood) definitely can be a problem?

If she's doing swimming seriously (e.g. swimming lengths, learning life-saving), she should wear a one-piece. Two-piece swimsuits are really only for leisure.

Bonsoir · 08/03/2011 18:26

Maybe the school is trying to helpfully educate its pupils not to look like S&B outcasts?

Rhinestone · 08/03/2011 18:27

Tankinis actually cover up more than a one piece swimming costume as the shorts come part way down your leg.

One piece swimming costumes can be cut very high. I agree with you OP and would challenge this.

MillyR · 08/03/2011 18:29

DD wore only bikini bottoms to swimming for years. There is no reason why a one piece swimming costume is needed if you are swimming indoors with no risk of sunburn.

lesley33 · 08/03/2011 18:30

You don't need to explain to your daughter that the school don't want girls to wear costumes that are sexualised. You can just tell her that it is the school uniform rules and just like you can't wear a yellow blouse but have to wear a white blouse - so you have to wear a swimming costume.

hocuspontas · 08/03/2011 18:33

Exactly lesley. You wear what the school dictate for everyday wear and PE so why should swimming be treated any different?

altinkum · 08/03/2011 18:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lesley33 · 08/03/2011 18:45

I disagree. If you don't like school uniforms, then you need to send your children to a primary school that doesn't demand this.

ragged · 08/03/2011 18:46

9yo DD has a tankini for regular swim lessons but she wanted a one-piece for school swim lessons, she is very aware of the boys looking, I guess! (There aren't any of her male peers in her regular swim class).

I can see why school feels they have to go with one-piece, can't have any slipping accidents even though most 9yos don't have anything to reveal, anyway.

MillyR · 08/03/2011 18:51

I can understand that tankinis are not allowed because some people will send their child in a bikini and there isn't a clear cut line between the two.

But Altkinmum, how exactly is a tankini more sexualised than a one piece?

changeforthebetter · 08/03/2011 18:54

DD has a tankini as she has a long torso like me and is really slim (unlike me Blush). Getting a costume long enough for her meant something totally huge and falling off her backside at the sides IYSWIM. I got her a very little-girly, flowery thing, very unsexualised. I can see the problem from the school's but a badly fitting swimsuit is not going to make her feel or swim better either.

foreverondiet · 08/03/2011 18:54

I'm not sure why you are upset, why shouldn't the school say swimsuits only, thats what the uniform is. IMO bikinis/tankinis are for leisure, swimsuits for serious swimming.

DD for PE has to wear a red t-shirt and navy shorts. I can't just change it and send her in a vest top or a red polo shirt, even if she'd prefer that.

PrettyCandles · 08/03/2011 18:57

Modesty and uniform rules aside, tankinis and bikinis can ride up, ride down, or even come off completely when dong anything vigorous. Not to mention the boys grabbing at them. And, yes, boys do that at primary school age.

worraliberty · 08/03/2011 18:57

I think the reason I'm cross is that dd herself is unaware that her body could in any way be viewed sexually. So the message the school is giving is that girls should/need to cover up, which I then have to explain to dd, when actually I'd prefer not to

No you don't. You just have to tell her that it's the school's policy and get over it.

No need for any other detailed explaination is there? Or if you're intent on giving her one..ask the Head why this is?

MillyR · 08/03/2011 18:59

Okay, I am really confused. I have a son and a daughter. Their bodies during primary school age were pretty much the same. How exactly are a pair of tankini bottoms more likely to fall off a girl than a pair of trunks are likely to fall off a boy? Or do the boys have to wear a full one piece swimming costume too?

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