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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To return to work after ML with no intention of staying

53 replies

Ieattoomuchcake · 08/03/2011 16:13

I am due to return to work in two months. I don't really want to go back but had convinced myself that I couldtry a three day week. Work have refused my request for a three day week but said I can do a four day week. I took advice on this and my solicitor told me I would have grounds for appeal, as they haven't given sufficient grounds for the refusal. For various reasons I don't want to go down the legal route.

So my plan is to go back for a month then hand in my notice. This month together with my notice period and accrued holidays will ensure I don't have to pay back enhanced maternity pay.

So, DD will have two weeks settling in at nursery and then 1-4 months actually at nursery depending whether my work want me to work my notice or not. I will have earned a decent amount of money and won't have to pay back the enhanced Mat pay.

If I can find another job 2-3 days a week I'll do that and DD will stay at nursery. If not I may have to take her out of nursery entirely depending on financials.

Does this sound bad? Bad for DD? Bad to my work (who I don't have much sympathy for based on them breaking the law re flexible working request- they do know the law and I'm fairly certain are deliberately flouting it because they know I wont kick up a stink)?

Anything ive not thought of?

OP posts:
eileenslightlytotheleft · 08/03/2011 16:17

Not bad at all. And who knows, your work may agree to your 3-day a week plan once they know you are serious.

Mumwithadragontattoo · 08/03/2011 16:19

YANBU if that is what you want to do. It is sensible to go back long enough not to have to pay back mat pay. But if your solicitor thinks they haven't given sufficient grounds for refusal of 3 day week why not go back and challenge them on that. If you can persuade them to allow it then that would be much easier than trying to find a new 3 day job in this climate.

Northernlurker · 08/03/2011 16:20

No that's what I would do tbh. If you find you can manage four days well and good you'll stay but if they've refused three days without good business grounds to do so then frankly they deserve the inconvenience. Your dd won't mind - at home with you or at a good nursery she'll be fine.
Lots of people have 'to spend time with young children' as a reason for leaving on their CV and it won't be obvious you only went back for a short time so no I can't see any issues. Just make sure you've got the length of return time right. Are work saying you have to take your accrued holidays before you return? Have they therefore given you a date of return in writing as being when that holiday starts then confirmed the date you're actually back in the office? Just triple check all of that before you hand your notice in because you can be sure they will and you don't want to slip up.

BooyFuckingHoo · 08/03/2011 16:22

it is what i did, but good luck finding a job in such a short space of time.

theoffsiderule · 08/03/2011 17:25

YANBU, I wish I could go back to work and then leave after 3 months as I would get a bumper payout (we have that incentive after 3 months instead of the disincentive of paying back the enhanced pay) but I can't in all good conscience leave DS with a nanny for upwards of 13 hours a day just for the money, which would near enough all get used on paying for the nanny...

I've decided to resign, hope they don't make me work my notice and look for a new job with better hours close to where we live now. Not had much luck so far, as I keep getting told that I would have too high a salary expectation after working in London (without asking me what I would accept!) and that the job would not be challenging enough for me - surely I would be the judge of that and wouldn't have applied if I wasn't interested?!

Good luck finding a new job, hope you do better than me and at least you will have some money coming in for the first few months while you look - 4 days is definitely a good compromise and it's probably not worth fighting the legal route if you're not bothered about staying.

NotAnotherNewNappy · 08/03/2011 17:31

YANBU - Just practical.

colditz · 08/03/2011 17:35

Once they actually have you back into your role, put another flexible working request in.

reason is - currently, they have someone covering your role, doing 5 days a week. You want to come back for three, they say no (hoping you'll leave and they can keep the non-tiny-babied mat leave coverer and write you off).

however, if you return, they have to get rid of the mat leave coverer. Then you say "Give me flexible hours or I'm leaving" - mat leave coverer has found another job, they are faced with giving you your way or training someone else.

As you're intending to leave anyway, you have nothing to lose by this approach

Original poster
Ieattoomuchcake · 08/03/2011 18:53

Actually colditz it has crossed my mind that they're trying to push ms into not returning to work. They haven't actually employed anybody to replace me. From what I gather my boss has been doing extra and the rest of the work has been split between the other members of my dept (12 people). So I thought that maybe they have realised they don't need me so are looking to make a saving by not having me back. Economic climate being what it is and all that.

Thanks everybody for the good wishes re finding another job. I've had an informal chat with one company which sounded quite promising but hasn't come to anything yet (chat was just last week) and I'm going to hit the phones tomorrow. I only really made my 'decision' over the weekend.

To be honest I wouldn't be heartbroken to have a period as a SAHM. We can afford it. Even when we include putting money into savings in our budget we still have extra left over each month with just DHs salary. I'd like to be out at work but it's not the end of the world if I don't find anything. (I know we're really lucky to be able to survive on just one wage).

I'm pleased nobody thinks it would be damaging to DD or horrendously unfair to my work in the circumstances.

OP posts:
onceamai · 08/03/2011 19:07

YABU and dishonest. Why can't you have a simple conversation about not wanting to return and come to an agreement where you keep your enhanced maternity pay and give them notice to replace you. I wouldn't want to keep you either and if you have been running to see a solicitor to see if you have a potential case against your employers I can understand why they don't either. As an HR manager I'd advise your employers to take a pragmatic view, let you keep your enhanced, part on good terms and be glad to see the back of you without a grievance. But do go ahead and muck them about but don't complain when you need a reference and they can't bring themselves to tick anything other than satisfactory and keep comments to the statutory minimum.

Nanny0gg · 08/03/2011 19:12

Everything you want to do may be perfectly legal, but why are women surprised when some firms are wary of employing women of child-bearing age?

HappyMummyOfOne · 08/03/2011 19:21

I'm with Nanny, whilst it may be legal it just harms what employers think of women and maternity leave.

You may not have got the hours that suited you but they have compromised and arent making you return full time. As long as they have given business reasons why 3 days wont work they have done nothing illegal and cant actually believe you approached a solictor over not getting the days you wanted.

minipie · 08/03/2011 19:26

YANBU

At first sight it seems unfair to your employer.

However, your employer could easily have written into its terms and conditions a longer period of working in order to keep the enhanced maternity pay (for example mine requires me to be back a year to keep it). They have clearly decided that they can live with women leaving after a few months back, as that's the period they've set.

However, I expect they'll require you to work your notice period.

amidaiwish · 08/03/2011 19:29

if you're only going back do you don't have to pay back the EML pay, then i would second approaching them. Say you really want 3 days/week and have a nanny to do 3 days (make something up about a nanny share) but will really struggle to do 4. however if you have to do 4 then you will juggle it somehow and give it a go. Alternatively if they can let you keep the EML then you will hand in your notice and release your role. See what they say, i BET they come to an agreement with you. They know you will leave once the deadline has passed, or be pg again asap or something like that.

Or could you use your accrued holiday to reduce your week to 3 days from 4? do they offer any kind of staged return to work? (I did 3 short days until DD1 was 1 and it worked well for me, good for settling into childcare too).

amidaiwish · 08/03/2011 19:30

sorry first sentence should read "if you're only going back SO you don't have to pay".... (edit facility MN PLEASE!)

kiwisplendour · 08/03/2011 19:35

Do what you want but consider finding another job before you hand in your notice. The job market is tough at the moment, especially so for part-time roles, it can take months to get another role. Please consider this.

ShavingGodfreysPrivates · 08/03/2011 19:41

I agree with NannyOgg, it doesn't make things easier for working women.

If you were working a 5 day week previously then I don't think they are being particularly inflexible by agreeing to a 4 day week

Original poster
Ieattoomuchcake · 08/03/2011 19:42

I seem to be getting a bit of grief over the fact that I spoke to a solicitor. If it makes it any 'better', I was moaning about it to a friend who is an employment lawyer, and she asked if I wanted her to look at the papers. I said yes please, gave her the stuff and she gave me a run down of the law.

They haven't actually given business reasons. They said it wouldn't suit. And that I'm so valued and important that they couldn't possibly cope with me being there less than four days. Lots of people in my sector work a three day week including people in my department and I don't feel it was unreasonable of me to feel aggrieved at having it denied.

But I am taking on board peoples thoughts.

Part of me also feels that if I go back then I will have given it a shot as I do feel a bit guilty and lazy about wanting to stay home with DD and at least if I've gone back (assuming I don't go back and love it so much I change my mind) then I can honestly say I tried it and it didn't work...

OP posts:
Original poster
Ieattoomuchcake · 08/03/2011 19:46

Sorry I x posted with amidaiwish
I asked about using holidays to reduce my week to three days, about working three longer days, four shorter days, even three days one week and four days the next. All were rejected with basically 'nah wouldn't suit us'.

I hear what people are saying about the effect on other working mums/ women of child bearing age. Not sure what solution there us to that larger issue other than perhaps men also starting to demand flexible working so they can spend time with their families. Sorry to all if I'm doing you all a disservice!!

OP posts:
OopsDoneItAgain · 08/03/2011 19:49

Whats all this 'You're not doing women any favours' crap. Its her company being awkward by refusing to even try out the 3 days. As usual, kick the woman, not the actual problem. Companies choose to loose experienced, talented female staff this way, I have never understood why.

ShavingGodfreysPrivates · 08/03/2011 19:50

Ieat

The reasons they have given are not sufficient then. You have offered to do compressed hours and they have rejected it.

Personally I would appeal the decision.

Snuppeline · 08/03/2011 19:59

I can't understand why you think the company has done anything illegal when they have offered you some flexibility, in fact all the law requires (as I understand it) is that they consider your request. They don't have to grant you anything. Also not sure why you think they declined your request as a means of trying to push you out so they can save money. If that was the case surely they would either agree to the 3 day week (as that would save money) or require you to work a full week (which would be more effective in pushing you out). It may well be that despite not succeeding in explaining their business reasons that there are just business reasons for not granting your wish.

I'd also say that since you seem to be keen to find another job that you should go back four days a week because you will need a reference in the current financial climate and also because it will give you a chance to see how you cope. If you hate working in your new situation then you can save yourself the hassle of looking for a new job and stay home.

BooyFuckingHoo · 08/03/2011 20:02

I'm with Oops.

ShavingGodfreysPrivates · 08/03/2011 20:27

Information here on how to appeal against a decision

OP, do you work for a small business or a large multinational? Whilst I know that the law applies equally I could certainly understand a small business being less inclined to agree to flexible working as it would impact on them to a greater extent than, for example, Microsoft.

nenevomito · 08/03/2011 20:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShavingGodfreysPrivates · 08/03/2011 20:37

Maybe the OP is your colleague Shock