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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be upset to the point of tears by someone ruining my day by being a bitch?

34 replies

nikki1978 · 07/03/2011 14:42

I have been a bit down recently but was feeling much better today - especially as the sun is shining. I was feeling very optimistic actually and have had a really productive day.

Anyway was just in a long line at the post office and Ds (4) was getting a bit bored and wandered to the front of the line to have a look at another child. On his way back he brushed past a woman who immediately kissed her teeth at him and said very sarcastically "oh excuse me why don't you?". Then started giving him dirty looks. She looked at me rudely and I said "hey he is 4!". I have very good manners and would have apologised for him if she hadn't jumped down his throat so fast. She then proceeded to tell me how she has three children and they all would have said excuse me and don't I dare start on her - she was very tall and intimidating looking. To be honest I was so angry I had to leave the queue. Of course noone said anything just smiled sympathetically at me.

Took my son out to the car and then shut his fingers in the door! Just to make me feel a worse mother than I already do :( Is it too early for ? :(

OP posts:

lookingfoxy · 07/03/2011 14:46

Sorry I would have turned into a fish wife and totally lost all moral standing by effing and blinding at the cow.
Im pretty tall as well, but you could have kicked her shins
Your not a bad mum, I hit ds's head a whopper with the car door and p has shut his fingers in it!
Little children bump into people sometimes, fact of life!

HelloOutThere · 07/03/2011 14:48

Some people are just looking for reasons to be annoyed dont let it get to you too much nikki she isnt worth it. He and you did nothing wrong and the other people would of looked at her and just thought what a sad woman to worry about that.

I had "words" with a woman in the queue on Saturday as my dd put 2 toothbrushes on my stack of items and she was all hissy about it. 2 flipping toothbrushes.As I said to her "yes that would make a difference of ooooh 20 seconds at most". People are just odd!

Poor little mite hope he is ok, the fingers in the door thing is so awful and we have all done it xx

blackeyedsusan · 07/03/2011 14:49

you can hve the wine later.

One normal ds and one normal mummy. She's probably had a bad day too.

Ooopsadaisy · 07/03/2011 14:49

nikki1978 - I have also felt utterly crap with the weather and the lack of daylight. Isn't it wonderful today?

Do not allow this obnoxious piece of work spoil your day. She is no-one.

Sorry to hear about your DS. Hope he's ok. You didn't do it on purpose, so don't blame yourself. There isn't a mother alive who hasn't done something similar.

Get outdoors and breathe in the fresh air and feel the sunshine. It's magical today.

Bloodymary · 07/03/2011 14:50

The woman is obviously a sour faced old bitch, (there are a lot of them around).
How is your poor sons finger?
And because of your day so far, it is never too early for a

lookingfoxy · 07/03/2011 14:51

Saying that my opening line wouldn't have been hey he's 4, it would have been , whats your f*** problem - see all moral ground lost lol. The hormones must be cranking into gear this week, ignore me!

thumbwitch · 07/03/2011 14:51

oh people like that have been upsetting me for years. When I was about 4 or 5, I had a little wicker shopping basket on wheels with a long handle so I could drag it behind me. I took it with me to the shops with Mum and/or Dad - but being little, I wasn't always perfect at steering it. Once I bashed an old lady's leg by accident, and being well brought up I apologised immediately, but she went ON and ON about how appalling I was, what a nasty child I was, how I shouldn't be allowed to have such dangerous toys blah blah.
Now I know I probably hurt her but still! I was mortified, I could only keep apologising, my parent also apologised but nothing we said made any difference to her. She was just mean.

Some people are. :(

Have a

Awhiteelephantintheroom · 07/03/2011 14:51

Like the others said, some people are just looking for something to moan about.

I would have said "I cannot believe you are making such a big deal about a 4 year old brushing past you" and shook my head, highlighting how pathetic she was being.

ZZZenAgain · 07/03/2011 14:52

well her dc might all have said "excuse me" in that situation but have they grown up to behave like that towards other grown ups?

Honestly some people seem to leave home spoiling for a fight and it is just your bad luck to encounter them. If there is something to apologise for, apologise even if the other person is acting like a maniac - and then look away. Don't leave a queue because of it, really

pinkfluffyprincess · 07/03/2011 14:55

Sorry but next time don't leave the queue! Wrong aint strong yet you left. I would have wiped the floor with her verbally, adults don't give small children dirty looks ffs

Original poster

nikki1978 · 07/03/2011 16:12

To be honest I left the queue as I was late and the person at the front was taking bloody ages. It was 2 mins afterwards not immediately. She just looked like the sort of person who would have whacked me if I had had a massive go. I do live in Croydon after all! Thought edging and blinding in front of kiddies would make me look just a shit tbh. Anyway it doesn't help that I am having difficulties with DS behaviour so I am oversensitive about him atm. Dd was so much more calm and sedate at this age, god knows what I am doing wrong. None of my friends have boys so I have little to compare to.

OP posts:

ZZZenAgain · 07/03/2011 16:15

probably you are doing nothing at all wrong, not that I know much about boys but he is probably just a normal active 4 year old

HeartSkipsABeat · 07/03/2011 16:18

Aww what a crap day. Tomorrow will be better!

Agree that some people just want to complain about stuff. Today I was leaving a shop and a couple of girls were standing outside the door chatting away - ie not specifically letting me out with the buggy. Then they said loudly and pointedly "YOU'RE WELCOME!!!"

I hate it when people do that, what exactly does it achieve?!

Katey1010 · 07/03/2011 16:18

That Post Office in Croydon (near the Clock Tower) is hell. If it was that one you were BU to set foot in it without the SAS. Saying that, I miss Croydon. I moved a few years ago

cheekeymonkey · 07/03/2011 16:18

Oh my god! I can't believe there are such evil witches out there! Don't forget 'what goes around,comes around' It's their bad karma, don't let it sully your day.

Ormirian · 07/03/2011 16:19

"Come here DS, that lady is clearly very fragile and we wouldn't want her to break now would we?"

UrsulaBuffay · 07/03/2011 16:19

What a bitch! I had a shout at a man through his window the other week because he knocked on it at my toddler who was touching his gravel. I honestly saw red, it's natural when its your kids I think and some people have a rod up their arse!

UrsulaBuffay · 07/03/2011 16:21

I turned the air blue in front of DD & didn't really realise til later. Don't let it spoil your day, but I get you it took me hours to chill out :)

McDreamy · 07/03/2011 16:21

so sad for you. Why are people like this? It must take so much energy to be that miserable all the time. Just remember that just because she is sooooo miserable and grumpy she hasn't noticed the sun is shining YOU HAVE, don't let her get you down

albertcamus · 07/03/2011 16:46

I'm incredibly self-confident and have represented my school at conferences around the world, spoken to huge groups at unis about teaching, run a busy core Faculty in a mixed area, speak three languages fluently, have brought up three kids, run two houses & a busy professional and social life ... BUT the day after I returned from a lovely laid-back fortnight in France last year, and dared to pop into my (small town) library to return my ten books, finding myself grappling with the new 'improved' self-checkout facility, before I knew what was happening an overweight 6ft tall horrible old bag library worker suddenly bore down on me, snatched my card from my hand, spoke to me incredibly patronisingly and barked instructions for the machine. The guy queuing behind me pulled her up for the way she'd spoken to me before I'd even had a chance to catch my breath ... I was SHAKING, nearly crying and gobsmacked ... and I deal with stroppy teenagers up to 19 and their charming parents very regularly ! When I stammered a response to the effect that if I, as Head of ICT and Business, was struggling with the machine, I was sure that elderly people would have trouble engaging with it, she shouted: 'You know what you can do then, don't you ? ' So I did exactly that ... fired a letter off to the five people in her line management structure up to Chair of Community Services at our local CC. I received a bland and fobbing-off response to the effect that she had not meant to upset me ... yeah, right. Anyway, what I learned from the experience was that if you are attacked when you are least expecting it, it can cut you the deepest. I was physically shaken, much to my amazement ! So put it down to experience, and focus on a nice !!!

weedle · 07/03/2011 16:57

What is it about Post Offices that bring out the worst in people?

My incident still stays with me and it happened over a decade ago! I was about 13/14 and had my youngest brother with me (aged 5ish). He was clutching some comic or pokemon cars or whatever and was waiting in line quite calmly with his pocket money. Cue miserable old bastard, pushing into the queue by physically shoving my brother out of the line with his stick! Brother all confused, looks up at me from the floor. To my shame I announce at the top of my voice

"Don't worry xxxx he had to push in, he'll be dead soon" not my finest hour.

Moral of our stories, some people are just crap!

albertcamus · 07/03/2011 17:00

weedle lol :)

McDreamy · 07/03/2011 17:01

weedle

ambarth · 07/03/2011 17:03

YANBU Bollocks is she the perfect mother with perfect kids. Have a

TheProvincialLady · 07/03/2011 17:04

Something I try - but often fail - to remember in these situations is that this kind of display is always about the other person and NOT about you. She's a horrible person, you're not, and that's her problem. The other in the people obviously agreed, but were too scared to say anything.

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