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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not move mid-meal

40 replies

strawberrycake · 06/03/2011 20:24

Not the biggest deal in the world, but interested in the view points of others. I'll take it on board if IBU.

I took my ds (9m/o) and my friend to a farm with a cafe today. The cafe was squashed with a funny layout. six 4 person tables round the edge and two 2 person tables in the middle. The little tables had a few feet either side and people constantly bumping as they went past. When we got there one table was free, a 4 person at the end which was the only one we could also leave the buggy behind without blocking a throughfare. I moved one chair and replaced it with a highchair for ds, he shared my meal and ate his own mush too. Just as my meal arrived a mum came over and demanded we move to one of the 2 person tables in the middle which was now the only free table.
1-I thought her manner was rude and felt disinclined to listen to her
2- My meal had just appeared and I didn't want to watch it grow cold while I moved highchair/ ds/ coats/ bags/ buggy
3- My table was comfortable and tucked out of the way, the little table was in the middle of the floor and I would have had everyone knocking me as I ate squeezing past and ds' highchair would have been pretty much blocking half the cafe getting past. I probably would have felt guilt-tripped into having him on my lap spoiling any relaxation I hoped for. My view was I paid for a comfortable meal, if there had only been a squashy table left I would have gone to a cafe up the road.
4-She moaned that herself, dh and 2 kids couldn't fit around a little table. But then why buy a meal if you can see there's nowhere left? Wait?

She got the cafe staff involved, who too suggested we stop mid-meal and move everything as it grew cold (I think she bullied them into it, they looked nervous). I noticed she wouldn't ask people without a baby but with an older child to squash up. No 4 person table actually had 4 people round it. In the end her family sat in the (heated) garden.

Am I really out of touch and has demanding other diners move become socially acceptable? To me it's the height of rudeness to interrupt meals.

(I'm not totally selfish, later on I clocked a family struggling to feed an older child on a chair and I offered to give them ds' restrainer highchair.

OP posts:
Awhiteelephantintheroom · 06/03/2011 20:26

YANBU, I think she had a fucking cheek, and I wouldn't have moved either.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 06/03/2011 20:28

YANBU. She could have eaten elsewhere.

strawberrycake · 06/03/2011 20:29

I've never been to one of these hellholes kiddie places before and was wondering if there was some weird equiette!

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pantaloons · 06/03/2011 20:29

Sounds like you did well not to tell her to erm.. naff off! She was very rude and there's no way I would have moved.

spacecadet1 · 06/03/2011 20:30

yanbu, there were 3 of you around a 4 seater table, hardly unacceptable. cheeky moo!

LoveBeingAKnockedUp · 06/03/2011 20:30

Cheeky cow, I can guess what she would have said the other way round

sourdoughface · 06/03/2011 20:30

nope would have ignored the loon

fivegomadinthelambingshed · 06/03/2011 20:30

YADNBU

strawberrycake · 06/03/2011 20:31

I just looked at her like she was a bit loony.
I was polite to the girl who worked there, just smiled and said 'no' calmly'

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ICanPluck · 06/03/2011 20:32
Shock

Cheeky cow, demanding you move! I'd have asked if she'd like you to feed her her lunch and wipe the crumbs from her tache with her paper napkin as well as giving up your table. Honestly, some people are so bloody rude. YANBU.

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 06/03/2011 20:32

YANBU.

I'm glad you got to eat your lunch while it was still hot Grin

Vallhala · 06/03/2011 20:33

The minute anyone demands anything is the minute they should lose all chance of getting it.

YANBU, she was a cheeky mare. Good for you for standing your ground.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 06/03/2011 20:33

Cheeky mare, definitely would not have moved.

supadupapupascupa · 06/03/2011 20:33

YANBU!!!

Cheeky mare.

How embarrassing! I am very very surprised at the behaviour of the staff TBH and would consider writing to the manager to complain..

pantaloons · 06/03/2011 20:35

I wonder if she has used this tactic before? It sounds like she is quite practised at it. Cheeky git.

MsHighwater · 06/03/2011 20:35

YANBU. You were 3 people at a 4 seat table. A 2 seater would be too small even ignoring the pram issue. If you had left the pram where it caused an obstruction you would have been in the wrong. You were right to refuse to move and, in your shoes, I would have been tempted to (politely) complain to the staff that they tried to pressure you into moving.

bupcakesandcunting · 06/03/2011 20:36

YANBU. I bet her husband and children were mortified.

LisaD1 · 06/03/2011 20:37

YANBU, she sounds like a lovely woman!

I would have struggled not to get very annoyed at her!

SeeJaneKick · 06/03/2011 20:37

I would write to complain that the staff were also unreasonable. It's not as if you were only 2 people at a 4 person table! Your son is a person who needs a space too!

TragicallyHip · 06/03/2011 20:38

YANBU you already had your meal ffs. The staff should have told the women to sit somewhere else!

strawberrycake · 06/03/2011 20:38

I didn't really stand my ground in a fighting my rights way, more just ignored her after a mild 'no' and an eyebrow raise. Just seemed like others thought I should make way.

I pissed her off later too. A whole another AIBU. In face I pissed many mums off. There were 2 soft plays, one 0-3 and one 3-6. I let by crawling/ cruising 9m/o on the former. These places are mad!

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saffy85 · 06/03/2011 20:40

YANBU I'd have had words with the staff afterwards as there was no need for them to join in this cheeky mare's crusade. I wouldn't have moved either, certainly not after being spoken to like that!

diddl · 06/03/2011 20:40

Were you compensated for having your meal interrupted by a mad woman & staff asking you to move?

RunAwayWife · 06/03/2011 20:40

YANBU she was rude

strawberrycake · 06/03/2011 20:41

I wouldn't complain, it was a teenage girl serving who was clearly intimidated herself and unsure of what to do. I'm a cow a big girl and capable of ignoring people/ pressure myself. I wasn't upset or embarrassed as I'm not that type tbh. That's why I'm checking, that I'm not TOO difficult Grin

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