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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not move mid-meal

40 replies

strawberrycake · 06/03/2011 20:24

Not the biggest deal in the world, but interested in the view points of others. I'll take it on board if IBU.

I took my ds (9m/o) and my friend to a farm with a cafe today. The cafe was squashed with a funny layout. six 4 person tables round the edge and two 2 person tables in the middle. The little tables had a few feet either side and people constantly bumping as they went past. When we got there one table was free, a 4 person at the end which was the only one we could also leave the buggy behind without blocking a throughfare. I moved one chair and replaced it with a highchair for ds, he shared my meal and ate his own mush too. Just as my meal arrived a mum came over and demanded we move to one of the 2 person tables in the middle which was now the only free table.
1-I thought her manner was rude and felt disinclined to listen to her
2- My meal had just appeared and I didn't want to watch it grow cold while I moved highchair/ ds/ coats/ bags/ buggy
3- My table was comfortable and tucked out of the way, the little table was in the middle of the floor and I would have had everyone knocking me as I ate squeezing past and ds' highchair would have been pretty much blocking half the cafe getting past. I probably would have felt guilt-tripped into having him on my lap spoiling any relaxation I hoped for. My view was I paid for a comfortable meal, if there had only been a squashy table left I would have gone to a cafe up the road.
4-She moaned that herself, dh and 2 kids couldn't fit around a little table. But then why buy a meal if you can see there's nowhere left? Wait?

She got the cafe staff involved, who too suggested we stop mid-meal and move everything as it grew cold (I think she bullied them into it, they looked nervous). I noticed she wouldn't ask people without a baby but with an older child to squash up. No 4 person table actually had 4 people round it. In the end her family sat in the (heated) garden.

Am I really out of touch and has demanding other diners move become socially acceptable? To me it's the height of rudeness to interrupt meals.

(I'm not totally selfish, later on I clocked a family struggling to feed an older child on a chair and I offered to give them ds' restrainer highchair.

OP posts:

belledechocchipcookie · 06/03/2011 20:43

She should have waited for a table large enough to accommodate her ego to become free.

OTTMummA · 06/03/2011 20:43

I think i would of just laughed in her face, as demanding a stranger to move tables is utterly ridiculous!
I don't believe it!

tigerchilli · 06/03/2011 20:45

YANBU at all, what a cheeky @&^%$@!! I wouldn't dream of interrupting someones meal (because I thought I was a special snowflake)

RevoltingPeasant · 06/03/2011 21:31

YANBU but please don't complain to the staff: they were probably mortified and worried that the woman would complain about them. It wasn't their fault as long as they were polite and accepted your 'no'.

RevoltingPeasant · 06/03/2011 21:32

complain about the staff

Rhinestone · 06/03/2011 21:33

I wouldn't have moved either. She is very rude.

nannyl · 06/03/2011 21:44

YANBU

i would not have moved either!

GloriousGoosebumps · 07/03/2011 07:55

YANBU in fact it sounds as though you were far more polite than I would have been.

what did she do when you refused to move? And what was her husband doing while this was taking place.

curlymama · 07/03/2011 08:14

YANBU, it sounds like you handled it much better than I would have done.

starfishmummy · 07/03/2011 08:14

YANBU! She should have waited until a table was free.

Original poster

strawberrycake · 07/03/2011 08:17

Glorious- her dh stood behind her with the tray ready to sit in our place. She asked the staff to 'tell us' when I said 'no' then as she stormed out to the garden in a dramatic manner she announced to the cafe 'some people are SO selfish. I hope next time she goes out with HER child they refuse to even let her in and SHE can eat in the cold... no... go HUNGRY in the cold'. About half the cafe looked at her like a loon, the other half looked at me like I'd stolen her children's coats and cast them into a blizzard.

OP posts:

chandellina · 07/03/2011 08:32

YADNBU. But it sounds like she was having a bad day and needed to throw a strop. Sometimes happens to the best of us. I went into buggy rage the other day in a cafe when DS and I had to squeeze into seats at a cafe surrounded by massive buggies on all side. I held my tongue though ...

anonacfr · 07/03/2011 09:28

This is ridiculous- there were three of you FGS- she was asking you to squash at a too small table when you were seated and about to eat!
In your shoes I might have considered it if I'd been alone with baby.
She should have come over before she ordered her food and asked you then. Nicely. Then you could have explained back that you needed the table and were there first anyway.
Idiot.

ScroobiousPip · 07/03/2011 09:48

Sounds like she was very rude - agree I'd not be inclined to help someone who asks so ungraciously.

Could you though, instead of saying no, have offered them half your table, and helped them move one of the little 2-person tables next to it(so that they had enough room for their family)?

NestaFiesta · 07/03/2011 09:56

Scroobius- you are much nicer than me! The OP could not have offered half her table as she was using 3/4 of it.

OP- this woman was outrageously rude and abusive to you. Take some comfort from knowing that she made a complete show of herself and by her outburst made your calm reaction look even more dignified.

What the hell is the world coming to that people's sense of entitlement leads them to think they are more important than other people?

The fact is, when you go to a cafe, if the seats you want are occupied- tough. You DO NOT move the occupants! Its just not done!

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