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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to leave my 14 month old unsupervised in the bath while I do some jobs?

105 replies

Ilikegreenshoes · 06/03/2011 20:15

Ok, before you all call SS, there was no water in the bath. She'd had her bath, I'd emptied it, but she didn't want to get out and was playing quite happily with her toys.
I could hear her from where I was, there was nothing within reach that could have been dangerous, but I still felt like it was a bad mummy thing to do.
Thoughts?

OP posts:
backwardpossom · 06/03/2011 23:23

She'd had her bath, I'd emptied it, but she didn't want to get out and was playing quite happily with her toys.

Who is the adult? My son never wants to get out of his bath either, but if I decide bathtime is over, that's it. I wouldn't leave him in it just because he doesn't want to get out... Hmm

justhalfwaythere · 06/03/2011 23:25

Green shoes - clearly a single message coming back and I hope you've realised potential for accidents and don't leave her in bath!! I don't even turn my back on 13 mth old when she's in bath - even when I've run the water out and coaxing her away from the frog and ducks.

Sympathy as well - it's not great getting a barrage of negativity and abuse. Been there and it was the ONLY (and last) time I posted a question.

There is a way for people to get message across without resorting to abuse and swearing.:)

Valpollicella · 06/03/2011 23:40

It'd have to be a pretty damn warm room (I'm thinking 30 deg plus) for someone to be naked after a bath and not get a bit chilly Hmm

Firawla · 07/03/2011 00:36

at 14 months yabu, they are still just a baby! i have a 14 months ds and absolutely no way would i even consider this for him, he just would not be safe. my 2.8 yr old yes, but a 14 months definitely not

RunawayRasin · 07/03/2011 01:54

Aside from all the above mentioned saftey issues, there is also no way that I would leave DS (21 months) unsupervised in the bath as I could guarantee that the minute I turned my back he would take the opportunity to poo and then play with / smear / eat said poo.

Just thought I'd add another angle to encourage OP not to do this any more Grin.

LoveBeingAKnockedUp · 07/03/2011 06:31

Baths are dangerous, but as part of your risk assessment you need to take into account the fact that the risks of cuts, tetth bring knocked out etcis increased by you not being there.

lilsmate · 07/03/2011 06:32

Hot tap, poo, climbing and slipping, choking.

Just a few reasons why its a very bad idea.

Wallace · 07/03/2011 06:48

Really don't think leaving a child in an empty bath for a wee while is so dangerous Hmm

I would do it.

Original poster
Ilikegreenshoes · 07/03/2011 06:59

Thanks for the helpful comments.

Just to reiterate - she was not cold at all, there was no way she could possibly turn the hot tap on, (and the water is not hot enough to scald her even if she did - it's annoyingly cool actually!) And I don't think anyone quite appreciates how small our house is, therefore how close I was to her. Also, I have accepted that I might have understimated the risks associated with slipping, although because she was within earshot I could hear if she stood up or started moving around. I have also stated that it wasn't a case of me leaving her in there because I had work to do, rather I got on with a few jobs because she was playing quite happily. She is normally made to do what she's told, last night I relaxed the rules.

I am so sorry to hear some of the horrible experiences people have had in the bath, but I didn't (and still don't) feel that most of them were a risk in our situation. I don't think there's any need to swear or call me names, but I appreciate the helpful and kind messages from most replies. I don't think I'll be coming back to Mumsnet as funnily enough I don't enjoy being called a "f**kwitted" "idiot" over a fairly minor question. Bye all.

OP posts:
saffy85 · 07/03/2011 07:07

Namecalling is out of order, you're right. I think it's always better to respectfully disagree.

It's a shame if you don't come back to MN. I've had plenty of good practical advice from others on here. I've also had some posters be rude to me too but those aren't worth getting upset about imo. I ignore them because lets face it, they're not worth the aggro.

lilsmate · 07/03/2011 07:09

It would seem my friend was right about this place, full of self important bullies.

larrygrylls · 07/03/2011 08:12

Not only self important bullies, but self important bullies who embrace the zeitgeist that no toddler should ever be able to have an accident.

My wife told me that she was chatting to a paediatrician the other day who said that she sees more serious childhood injuries now than ever before and she blames it on the "safety" culture. Not allowing children to have small accidents give them the feeling that they are untouchable and then they take stupid risks and have big accidents later.

As long as the hot tap is turned off tightly enough to not be able to be turned on, there is absolutely nothing wrong with leaving a contented toddler playing in a bath in a warm centrally heated room.

chandellina · 07/03/2011 08:22

YANBU - yes maybe there is a very slight chance of something you didn't account for happening, but it sounds like your risk assessment was valid. We fill the bath with a shower attachment that doesn't get hot, and the tap itself can't get hot because the water coming through it is never scalding. I would've done the same, taking the minuscule chance of a chipped tooth that would be far more likely to happen in the playground or elsewhere.

DaisyDaresYOU · 07/03/2011 10:01

Hi.Can you not put your dd in a playpen?I've had to do this when i've wanted to get things done.I know it's tempting when littlelans being quite but i'd just worry about the hard services.For what it's worth I had a talking to from a hv about putting my dd in a baby walker when she was little saying they are dangerous.So I had to get rid of it.Not what I wanted as it cost £80 but I wouldn't of been able to rest proparly thinking she'd tip it and fallout or bump into radiator

DumSpiroSpero · 07/03/2011 10:13

When my DD was that age, I bathed her at night, but in the morning when I had to get ready for work I'd stick her in the (dry) bath on a towel with a couple of toys while I washed & did my make up.
If you're sure she's warm enough & can make it relatively slip proof (ie towel in bottom) I don't think it's a complete no-no but wouldn't go far or do it for any length of time. The cold factor would really bother me too.

Also don't forget that she may suddenly learn how to climb out when you're not there...

Rosedee · 07/03/2011 10:25

Thought personal attacks weren't condoned on mumsnet? Calling op a fuckwit just makes you look like one yourself. She weighed up the risk in her situation and thought it was ok then came on here as shewasnt sure. She's been told she wbu and been tole why and that's fair enough, the name calling makes you look like kids in a playground.

TandB · 07/03/2011 10:33

Are there some new rules of posting for AIBU?

Hi I'm new.
You are all mean.
I won't be back. Byeeeee.

Seem to have been a lot of threads following this pattern recently.

OP, YABU. But I think you know that. I am very far from being safety-obsessed but I would never dream of doing this. Silly, pointless risk to take in my opinion.

Pancakeflipper · 07/03/2011 11:00

Dear OP
I have a feeling you won't do it again due to the possibility of slipping/scalding that the others have mentioned.

It may have been an error as a newbie to post in AIBU. It's straight talking with opinions flying at you at a rate of knots. But you can get your head straightened on here too and see things differently.

Don't ditch the site cos of a flaming. Many have been flamed. Go and play in the calmer areas for a while. Don't go off thinking there isn't good support on this site. There is. The odd hug given when needed.

But AIBU is the area for upfront straight speaking and it can get wild.

buttonmooncup · 07/03/2011 11:36

YABU. I wouldn't leave ds who is the same age to play anywhere slippy because it's asking for an accident. If your hot tap is as cold as you say it is then there might not be a risk of burning but babies skin can burn in water that may just seem warm to an adult. Also how do you know dd can't turn the tap on? Have you let her try? Even if she can't - unsupervised playtime in the bath would be a good way to learn.
I agree there are times when a risk assesment has to take place and that life can't always be 100% risk free but in this case there was no real benefit, other than getting a few chores done which could have waited, and some pretty big risks.

BrothOfGrapes · 07/03/2011 11:56

OP, you have arrived Grin

This is AIBU, not for the faint hearted. Don't be scared off so easily, MN is a wonderful place full of laughs, great advice and lots of support Smile

BTW YABU!!!

Mapley · 07/03/2011 14:46

YANBU I did the same as the OP occassionally when my ds was younger and it was totally fine. It wouldn't be now that he is older, but I can judge that myself from my intimate knowledge of my ds, my bathroom and my self. I presume the OP feels the same. Not a huge risk IMO, and certainly not worth the flaming.

Misfitless · 07/03/2011 19:54

No - too slippy, and even my 3yr old starts shivering if I don't dry her instantly, so my 14 month old would be freezing. Also your DC needs to know that you decide when he/she gets out of the bath. Even my 5 year old struggles with our ancient taps, so turning taps on is not necessarily a risk for everyone, even though almost everyone has mentioned this.
I wouldn't do it again - it's not worth the risk IMO

ladymystikal · 08/03/2011 12:55

im new on here too...is it just me but is calling someone a fuckwit really rude??? especially when they're coming on here for advice?? Shock
I agree though with the majority of the concerned posts

MadamDeathstare · 08/03/2011 15:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ladymystikal · 08/03/2011 23:01

Thanks madam! I've been reading the AIBU forum with my mouth open! Some arguments have been witty and funny though.