to think that in many ways, woman of our generation have it alot easier?

[carriedababi]

compared to previous generations

both woah and sahm is on the whole, seen as a vaild choice either way

unlike it was in the 50's or 80"s, when you were proibably either expected to stay at home, in the 50's or go to work in the 80's

clothes and toys are alot cheaper

we can resell things easily on ebay etc

Yes! And in many other ways too.

of course they do, watching that 1900s house and the poor woman had to work dusk to dawn

its so easy these days

Well, I'm certainly glad of what we have now ... but on the other hand I look at my parents having no problem buying their own house in their 20s, my mum being able to decide to stay at home because you could realistically raise three children and pay a mortgage on one wage, and I do feel a bit envious about that.

I think the job of caring for a family is possibly less physically demanding now than it was in the 50s, more labour saving devices like washing machines etc available. But I think woman today whilst they have many more choices in life than before, that brings with it a whole load of pressures and difficulties of its own.

I don't think life for a woman today is easier, just different.

WOHM and SAHM may well be both valid choices but the reality for a lot of women is that they don't really have any choice. Economics usually dictates what they end up doing. Then they get told they've made the wrong "choice" by all those that did/do the opposite.

I think a lot of mothers are more isolated now. A lot of threads on MN seem to talk about how extended family members who don't help at all with childcare.

Erm, in every way, yes.

But still a way to go.

YABU

I'd say we have it tougher as the expectation is to have it all, so people want it all so the pressure to get it all piles on.

When the expectation is to do x or y and your life will be z then there is no pressure and it's easier.

LittleRedDragin, I totally agree with you.

And when I were a nipper the expectations regarding mothers were different. You were a good mother if your kid was was clean and had clothes. Nowadays, from birth, women are expected to 'stimulate' their kids, have the 'right' pushchair, look gawjus, have a lovely home, maintain a career, do lots of out of school stuff with older kids etc etc..

My mum never agonised over out of school activities, grammar schools or what level/reading book I was on. She never had to negotiate time off work if I was ill or was in an assembly/nativity play.

I don't think 'we' have it easier. I'd say it's just as hard but in a different way.

yes i agree that alot ofmothers can be isolated, people do generally live futher apart these days, i suppose due to going to unu, meeting someone not local, work etc.

that is a definate difficulty

Much easier now.

Just choosing whether to be pregnant must be the biggie, surely? Can you imagine being pregnant practically every time you had intercourse? No washing machine, no tumble dryer would be the deal-breaker for me!!!

well i aslo agree there can be a bit of pressure to have it all and do it all.

No I don't think its easier now. It's different, certainly.

The pressure of choice is enormous. Don't underestimate it.

I do yes, seeing my grandmothers and my mother who all had jobs and were expected to do everything at home. I am grateful for my DHs share in the chores/ childcare etc.

i suppose theres a BIG issue with affordable housing too.

I dont agree.

Women now are more likely to have to work to assist in the support of the family. This can lead to all sorts of pressures that women in the past didnt have. I have to work,Im expected to work. I hate it and the issue of family/work balance is INCREDIBLY problematic. Childcare is a nightmare.

I personally think life would be easier for me if we were back to when one wage could easily support a family. Then work would be about choice each time.

Single parent here, I suppose I'd have been in the workhouse back then

Mmmm, I have a half decent education and a half decent job and run the house single handed so, come to think of it, yes, maybe.

Also.

Was talking to my MIL about this recently (she is in her 70's) and was shocked as she thinks women had an easier time when she was a mum of younger children. Reason? I was rather surprised to find that she had her milk and bread delivered one day, groceries the next and got her vegetables from a local market garden. She said she only ever had to walk down to get shopping items now and again and just took a small "on wheels" basket.Food was simple and easy to budget as there were no expectations of "fancy food" (her words). Same went for clothes. (although my husband became a slave to fahion in the 80's and spent all his pay on the latest look).She was able to leave her babies in their prams outside a shop or at the end of the path and people just looked out for them. People pitched in.

Really threw me as I didnt expect her to say that.

I don't agree. My grandma was a doctor (GP) and worked full time (my grandpa was also a GP). She could afford a full time nanny AND a full time cleaner/cook. They could also afford a big house and 2 sets of private school fees (from age 4-18), and foreign holidays. How many GPs could afford all that now - not the ones I know anyway.

Even my parents (my Dad is GP) could easily afford big house and could afford private school fees (secondary) for 4 children.

We have it so much harder as childcare and housing so expensive.

Nowadays, from birth, women are expected to 'stimulate' their kids, have the 'right' pushchair, look gawjus, have a lovely home, maintain a career, do lots of out of school stuff with older kids etc etc..

Life is harder for us now because we have to have the "right" pushchair and a lovely home? Oh please!If it is harder now it's because we've become such complaining greedy people!

I don't think any of you would swap with a 1950s housewife if you could. SO much more choice now, many more opportunities, access to education, services, consumer lifestyles that women couldn't even dream of! And we are allowed to express our opinions!

I think our problem is that we are way too pampered.

I would swap for that now. I hate the pressure of working

My grandmother, in her late eighties, is convinced my life is immeasurably harder than hers was, because I have an ill husband have to work full-time in a well-paid job. She, on the other hand, had two children during rationing (one born in the war, one just after), no inside loo, no washing machine and a husband with seasonal employment who did nothing at all at home in the off months.

Every generation is different, that said. Although there is a long way to go I appreciate that we are making strides in men being able to work flexibly to accommodate childcare and other family responsibilities. In my former team, we 5 people working 4 days a week, four were men.

We are getting closer to accepting that both staying at home and going out to work are valid choices to make (although as noted above, a long way from making it valid for both sexes). And we have incredible technology to help us - I genuinely wonder why ds is learning to write at school, will anyone really need to be able to do that in 20 years' time? Of course he has to learn and clearly needs to be able to read but I do wonder!

But with every freedom comes an expectation - or maybe vice versa!

In some ways, yes the actual drudgery is not as much- there are gadgets and so on to help.

Expectations wise? Most people now expect women to do so much and yet men still get treated with excuses. Not on here, but certainly in RL it is not unusual for me to hear of women working part time(often in retail), having to do all the school runs/ arrange childcare and pay for it from their wages, plus do all the housework and stay on top of family commitments whereas all the blokes have to do is go to work, and they come home expecting dinner ready for them and the house tidy so they can sit down and watch what they want all evening and keeping large amounts of their pay for personal use.