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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be little hurt that sibling was not included.

50 replies

yesthatiswhatithink · 06/03/2011 15:34

Eldest invited to friends party, I am friendly with the mother.
About 6 invited, two with no siblings.
All children know each other from school and activities.
3 younger siblings included but not mine. She doesn't know, elder child noticed but told not to mention it.

OP posts:

TaurielTest · 06/03/2011 15:36

Told not to mention it by you, or by the other mother? If the former, could it be an oversight?

Original poster

yesthatiswhatithink · 06/03/2011 15:40

I told her not to mention it so child not disappointed.
Not oversight as mentioned one sibling was comming as friendly with party childs sibling.
Fair enough, was only upset when I discovered mine was only younger sibling of four not included.

OP posts:

eileenslightlytotheleft · 06/03/2011 15:40

It might well be an oversight. Why don't you ring and ask if siblings are invited or not?

ENormaSnob · 06/03/2011 15:46

Hmmm does your younger one get on with the other younger ones?

Awhiteelephantintheroom · 06/03/2011 16:06

If it's a small party maybe the party child chose which friends they wanted to invite?

MrsVidic · 06/03/2011 16:12

There is probably a good reason for this, I wouldn't make the mother feel bad by asking why and put her under pressure to invite your other dc's.

Perhaps one of the other mothers needs their other dc to attend due to childcare etc so the other younger sibling was invited to keep the other company.

The day isnt about your family it's about the birthday child so I wouldn't be offended

Grabaspoon · 06/03/2011 16:13

Are all the younger siblings the same age - ie can all play together?

Is there a chance it was damage limitation - I know I can be guilty of not inviting a certain sibling to things because of the high jinx / bull in a china shop mentality.

Original poster

yesthatiswhatithink · 06/03/2011 16:25

Would have understood if my child was not the only one left out.
Child is quite well behaved and I would have stayed.
How do you justify leaving only one child out.
She has realised she has missed out and is a little upset.
Blabber mouth sibling.
No I won't say anything, no point.

OP posts:

TysonNobdie86 · 06/03/2011 16:33

I think you should say something tbh, I had to ask if my 4 month opld dd could attend sil's dd party as I had no babysitter and ds is only 2.8 years so I needed to stay. She said Yes and was genuinely sorry that she forgot.

squeakytoy · 06/03/2011 16:37

Is the one who missed out actually friends with the child whose party it was?

ShavingGodfreysPrivates · 06/03/2011 16:41

How do you justify leaving only one child out

Because the child wasn't particularly friendly with the birthday child or their younger sibling?

IloveJudgeJudy · 06/03/2011 16:59

What is the matter with all you people and your sense of entitlement. Your DC was invited to a birthday party of a schoolfriend. Great. It doesn't matter about all the other people the birthday mother has invited. She is entitled to invite whoever she wants. She doesn't have to justify it to you or anyone else. Get over it. Don't say anything, you'll just sound weird.

Awhiteelephantintheroom · 06/03/2011 17:01

I totally agree with IloveJudgeJudy (is that programme still on??)

Bucharest · 06/03/2011 17:01

If only 6 children in total were invited of course YABU!

Dd invited whole class of 24 and then other friends to softplayhell and even I was miffed when one mother asked if the little sister of one of the kids (who we don't know from Adam) could come. I said yes, because when you've got 37, 1 extra isn't going to make a difference, but with 6 it is.

ShavingGodfreysPrivates · 06/03/2011 17:02

The Judge has spoken

Fully agree. If someone queried why I hadn't invited their younger child I'd think they were bloody rude and wouldn't be inclined to invite the older sibling again.

mitochondria · 06/03/2011 17:03

This happened to me the other week.

My boys are in Year 1 and Reception. Don't usually expect them both to be invited, as parties usually just have one year group.

However, this party was over 80 children, plenty of siblings invited.

And they live next door, so know my youngest reasonably well, I'd have thought! Maybe that's why they didn't invite him......(joking, he's not that bad really).

He didn't notice though, and if he's not bothered then neither am I.

eileenslightlytotheleft · 06/03/2011 17:08

I see your point jj, but OP is friends with the mother so she can just check without being pushy surely. My friend asked me about siblings -and I told her that her LO wasn't invited to DD1's party. It wasn't a big deal at all. On the other hand a school friend's dad just told me that he wasbringing his youngest and I was really annoyed. He said he would pay and then didn't - I just see him as a bludger and will have a better strategy in place next time.

ShavingGodfreysPrivates · 06/03/2011 17:14

Let's face it, the younger child would never have known if OP's eldest hadn't gobbed off about it - despite being asked not to. I'd be more annoyed about that sort of spiteful behaviour tbh.

activate · 06/03/2011 17:16

maybe the younger sibling does not like your younger child

agree witht he sense of entitlemnet post tbh

cat64 · 06/03/2011 17:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TheProvincialLady · 06/03/2011 17:20

Your younger dd wasn't invited, that's all you need to know. It's an invitation, not fulfilment of an entitlement. If you are getting worked up about something your youngest child doesn't even know about, it's time to get that grip TBH.

Original poster

yesthatiswhatithink · 06/03/2011 18:29

ok thanks.
IABU
A group of parents, party children and siblings all knowning each other and friendly and one (not younger or badly behaved), just one not included.
Will get a grip.

OP posts:

Original poster

yesthatiswhatithink · 06/03/2011 18:29

knowing

OP posts:

ShavingGodfreysPrivates · 06/03/2011 18:39

Am I to deduce from your post that you don't think that YABU?

It's difficult to tell from this comment:

"A group of parents, party children and siblings all knowning each other and friendly and one (not younger or badly behaved), just one not included"

ShavingGodfreysPrivates · 06/03/2011 18:42

Just had a thought.

Perhaps the other parents were rude enough to request that their younger children got an invite whereas you didn't.

If that's the case then take comfort from the fact that the mother of the 'party child' probably thinks more highly of you than the other Mums until you question her about your DC's lack of invite

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