to be frightened of my neighbour

[GMajor7]

We've been living peacefully in the same close for over 10 years.

The adult son of a neighbour has an obvious mental illness. Up until a few months ago there was no issue...we would often chat and he seemed a nice enough chap. Lately however he has become sinister and threatening and I am becoming nervous about what might happen next.

Today he came onto our property, right up to the front door and threatened my DP. Someone has reported him to the RSPCA (his dogs aren't in very good condition I must admit) and he is convinced it was us. It wasn't. He said that when he finds out who it is he's going to kill them.

I considered going to speak to his parents, but I don't want to be met with more aggression.

AIBU? Should I just forget about this? Should I speak to the parents??

OMG, I don't know, but will watch this thread.

Log it with the Police as an incident so that, heaven forbid, should he speak to you like that again or act in any other unacceptable way you have a paper trail which makes it easier for them to take action.

They will offer to go and speak to the young man (or, presumably, his parents if necessary given his MH) and to give him a warning. You don't have to accept this of course but I'd be inclined to if I were you.

Far better to put it on an official footing than going onto their property and risking more unpleasantness.

(Poor dogs too... :( )

Hmmm...we thought about looging it with the police, but might that not be like a red rag to a bull?

*Logging

If his parents are approachable, I would speak to them and be wary. I'd also log it with your local police authority.

It depends how approachable the parents are. How well do you know them and how have you got on the past 10 years?
If it has all been very amicable then I would pop round to talk to the parents. Before getting the police involved.

yes speak to the parents

I think you should try to approach his parents if you can and ask if everything is OK, say he has been acting odd and you are worried about him, maybe?

We have a neighbour who's son developed paranoid schizophrenia at around 16 yrs of age and became a danger to others, but mainly to himself.

He needs help .

However, if he is threatening you or your family, you must report it to the police, also.

I can honestly say I have never spoken to his parents. They live a few doors down. DP seems to think they don't look the friendliest types.

You should definitely not forget about it!

If you're not on friendly terms with the neighbours I'd probably go straight to the police. He may be a risk to himself as well as others if his mental health has deteriorated. You don't know whether he's stopped taking medication or something which was helping keep him stable, which will have a huge impact.

If you are friendly with the parents then you could maybe have a convo to explain exactly what happened, that you are concerned and you wanted to give them a heads up - but that if he comes to your properly and is threatening you again, you will have no choice but to get the authorities involved. If they are good then they would hopefully get his mental health team involved straight away - assuming (hoping!) he is registered with one.

It's a shame about his dogs/RSPCA and I can understand that it will have upset him, but if he is neglecting them, then whoever reported him did the right thing. The parents have a role in that too.

Report this to the police. How dare he intimidate you in your home?

DP is very concerned that reporting this might exacerbate the situation

We just want a peaceful life. He has also said that he's going to get a pair of American Pibulls and that they will attack our cat

If you log it with the Police the man and his family don't have to know that you've done so. Turn down the Police's offer to go and speak to him/them and the man/his family will be none the wiser. Logging the incident will just cover your own ass, so to speak.

All that will then happen is that you'll have an incident number to link up to any other events should they happen and the Police will be able to clearly see that there is a history if they ever do need to take any action. If you have a Police-logged history of events it really will make life easier for you should anything else occur.

I'm not an expert, but my understanding is that pitbull terriers must be neutered, muzzled and kept on a lead at all times. If anyone is found to be training them to fight/be aggressive, then they are to be banned. Owners can face jail sentences of up to 2 years if someone is injured. Therefore his threat of setting pitbulls on your cats is highly illegal.

It's a shame that people feel too frightened of repercussions to ask the authorities for help. I'm seeing this more and more.

I agree that you could have a chat with the police to find out your options, and take whichever feels most comfortable to you. At least then you have a police log record and you can make an informed decision. You never know, if he is randomly going round accusing people then you may not be the first to report it anyhow.

It is important you contact the police about this, you may well find he has a history of threatning people if so it is important to say STOP this behaviour is not acceptable regardless of any mental health issues. The police will liase with the community nurse and hopefully the situation will be resolved before it gets out of hand. This young man needs boundaries and to be firmly told what is and what is not acceptable.

Thanks for your replies. Looks like a call to the police would be the sensible thing to do!

GMajor7 and nomoreheels, in my experience the very, very vast majority of people in the UK wouldn't be able to identify a Pit Bull Terrier if it licked them on the nose, and fewer still have access to one.

Besides which the breed is irrelevant - I know Westies which go for cats whilst my GSDs and Labrador live with them!

Just my take on it but if the man is unstable and he is threatening to harm your pets then it is not something which you should ignore. I would urge you to report it as a criminal incident even if you request that they take no action and if you will get sense out of the parents to talk to them. Thinking about it, the Police might have some way of alerting relevant health professionals about the change in the man's behaviour. Certainly you CAN report and get an incident number without the offending person knowing - I know this as I did it recently myself.

I'd be inclined to go to the police AND ask them to issue warnings/take action myself as, if the parents are involved and yet the dogs the man owns are neglected, it sounds like the parents either don't give a monkeys or are incapable themselves.

How does he know the RSPCA have been contacted, GMajor? Have they visited him or taken any action?

Apparently the RSPCA have visited/phoned on a number of occasions recently. It seems someone has made several complaints.

Actually his dogs seem reasonably happy, but a more obese hound I have never seen!

Someone has complained about him disposing of dog faeces inappropriately.

I'm far too busy disposing of DDs poos to worry about that fgs.

Nice to see that the RSPCA are actually getting their fingers out for once.

In which case all the more reason to contact the Police and to mention the RSPCA's envolvement. They should link the matters up and have a clearer view of the matter plus the RSPCA being involved is an additional indicator of a problem and more reason for the Police to take it all seriously, liaise with healthcare professionals and soforth.

That's interesting to know Valhalla, thanks. I'm a cat person & hopeless at spotting dog breeds. We have lots of dog owners in the area and whilst the majority are absolutely lovely, and have friendly dogs. some people have what look like pitbulls to me - and they certainly seem to train them to be aggressive judging by how they act in the park. I feel sorry for those dogs, especially those who are walked on ratty lengths of rope (with rope rubbing against their necks too) and I give them a very wide berth. Makes me very nervous. I wonder what kind of dogs they are then?

Anyhow, back to your thread OP - I hope you have a useful chat with the police and good luck.

The dog faeces issue won't be an RSPCA issue, it's hard enough to get them to come out to abuse cases. Dog poo issues come under the council's environmental health office. The closest he will have got to anyone animal related on that score MIGHT have been a visit from the dog warden if they were underworked that week. RSPCA would definitely not be involved if that was the sole complaint.

Most alleged Pit Bulls are actually Staffordshire Bull Terriers, nomoreheels. American Bulldogs (AmBulls) are sometimes mistaken for Pits too and of course so are the various crosses of Staffies, AmBulls, Mastiffs and so on.

FWIW Pits are generally adorable dogs and very friendly if well cared for - the problem doesn't start at the collar but at the other end of the lead.

I'm not sure about the detail of the complaints Vallhala. I do know that this young man approaches others on the street and probably says similar things re setting his dogs on people etc. My guess is that someone has seen the condition of his dogs (Labs - honestly the fattest dogs I have ever seen) and coupled with his behaviour are concerned about his suitability as a pet owner.

It's very unfortunate though imo as dogs can be so wonderfully therapeutic.