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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS3 offered to pay to replace something he broke

29 replies

activate · 05/03/2011 16:07

by doing something he shouldn't

so I took him up on it

  • it is £40 to fix it - he has £120 saved towards an IPOD (birthday and pocket money)- he is money obsessed

he has been told not to mess around in this room before - he knew he was wrong

he should pay up shouldn't he

OP posts:
nickelprincess · 05/03/2011 16:08

yes, of course he should!

do yo uthink he won't?

gordyslovesheep · 05/03/2011 16:08

I'd need to know his age, what he broke and how :)

Original poster
activate · 05/03/2011 16:09

he has already - he looks devestated by losing the money Grin

I have told him I'm proud of him for 1) owning up and 2) offering to pay to fix it - I have told him that is honour and integrity and they are amazing traits

I think he is hoping I'll give him the money back - but I shouldn't should I?

OP posts:
Original poster
activate · 05/03/2011 16:10

10 - picture frame - ball in house (never been allowed) Grin

OP posts:
Alambil · 05/03/2011 16:11

not at 10, no... 5/6/7, possibly!

nickelprincess · 05/03/2011 16:11

then not a problem.

you need to fix the frame, you knwo how much it'll cost.

if there's a ny change, you can give him that.

It's a hard lesson to learn, but important.
you've definitely done the right thing.

Needanewname · 05/03/2011 16:12

WHy don;t you go halves with him, then he has been rewarded for being honest and owning up quickly but still punished at the same time

foundwanting · 05/03/2011 16:12

I would give him half back as a reward for his honour and integrity.

I am a soft touch.

Niecie · 05/03/2011 16:13

I would take it off him but I think I might give some of it back (about half) in a week or 2.

But I suppose I am a soft touch but it depends on whether you bought a replacement (you might not bother), how much it cost and whether you can afford it.

I think the lesson has been learned that he shouldn't do whatever it was though, which is why, after a wait to let the lesson sink in, I would give some back.

gordyslovesheep · 05/03/2011 16:13

fair enough - I'd give half back because I am soft - but I'd also remove the £40 !!! frame from the 10 year old boys room Grin

Original poster
activate · 05/03/2011 16:18

£40 is just to replace the glass in the frame over a painting in our living room not their den or his bedroom

I have taken the money already - and I was also thinking of giving him half back when he passes his next music exam (due in a month) - am also a soft touch but glad to see it is a common trait Grin

OP posts:
seeker · 05/03/2011 16:21

Of course he should. And why should he be 'rewarded" for his integrity?

Original poster
activate · 05/03/2011 16:22

because integrity is a trait that isn't seen in many adults let alone pre-pubescent children

OP posts:
Needanewname · 05/03/2011 16:22

I don;t think your a soft touch at all. If he hadn;t owned up straight away then I'd take the full £40 but he did and giving him back some of the money will teach him that its better to be honest. I would also warn him though that if it happens again you would not return any of the money

saffy85 · 05/03/2011 16:25

I agree with seeker. He broke it, he pays for it. Good for him for coming clean but no I don't think I'd give half back to him. I would maybe let him earn some back by helping out more round the house though.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 05/03/2011 16:28

I would give half back also. He's only 10 and while that's old enough to take responsibility, which he has, it's a lot of money to a 10 year old. He sounds a lovely lad though.

RantyMcRantpants · 05/03/2011 16:38

Rather than give him the money back, when you know he has enough money in his account, bar £20, then say to him " come on! lets go and get that iPod." Then pay the extra to make up the money in the shop.

lenak · 05/03/2011 16:44

Ranty's suggestion is better than giving him half back.

I remember when I was about that age and I broke a Wedgewood cake stand of my mom's by climbing on a cabinet to reach something (which I had been told not to).

She made me buy her another one. I didn't have any pocket money for about three months!

I certainly learnt my lesson!

MyMamaToldMe · 05/03/2011 16:53

Ranty's usggestion wins my vote too. Think your DS sounds like a lovely boy and I am sure this is a lesson learned.

valiumredhead · 05/03/2011 16:55

What Ranty said.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 05/03/2011 16:55

I have done half and half with dd when she offered to pay for something she had lost. I told her if she lost it again then next time she should pay the full amount.

good lad though :)

IAmTheCookieMonster · 05/03/2011 16:58

if he is money obsessed then it is a very good way to show him the consquences of not doing what he is told. If you give it back then he will not learn.

I like Ranty's suggestion too :-)

itsatiggerday · 05/03/2011 16:59

I'm with Ranty too. I would also have accepted his offer as you have done. I wouldn't give him back half the cash straight though, I think topping up the final bit of the thing he's been saving for is more meaningful.

But then I don't actually go for the whole financial reward for exams etc as I'd rather they learn to work hard for their own sakes. And I don't pay for chores round the house as that's just part of being a family.

Hmm,

valiumredhead · 05/03/2011 17:00

I agree with Iamthecookiemonster - having a money obsessed ds is a very good way to get him to toe the line. One mention of getting pocket money docked for bad behaviour and he does as he is told! Grin

backwardpossom · 05/03/2011 17:03

Your DS sounds lovely, OP. Good for him for admitting to what he'd done. :) My brother did something similar when he was older and paid for it out of his own money and he definitely learned his lesson.

I like Ranty's suggestion.