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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

You live in a crap area with crap schools...what do you do?

34 replies

sundayrose10 · 05/03/2011 16:05

Rejected from all near better borough schools. Do I get in debt to send child private OR send child to local comp school where gangs/fighting is all part of the norm.

It's shit.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 05/03/2011 16:06

have you actually looked round the local comp?

gordyslovesheep · 05/03/2011 16:07

wow every school has gang fights - really - maybe move then?

Original poster
sundayrose10 · 05/03/2011 16:07

Off to do food shopping so have not vanished. Will revisit thread later on in evening.

OP posts:
gordyslovesheep · 05/03/2011 16:07

Hello US Grin

Flisspaps · 05/03/2011 16:07

Are gangs and fighting really the norm, or is it just your average comprehensive?

expatinscotland · 05/03/2011 16:08

Homeschool.

Mandy2003 · 05/03/2011 16:09

This happened to me because the London borough where I lived "lost" our primary school application and the only school place left was right the other side of Tottenham (about 5 miles away).

I moved house.

usualsuspect · 05/03/2011 16:10

Sometimes schools have a reputation that is not anything like the actual school ..you might be surprised

gordyslovesheep · 05/03/2011 16:12

I work in an area where EVERY school bar one was on special measures - they where all okay schools with some good staff - you cant judge without actually visiting

if it is that bad then yes - home school or move

BaronessBomburst · 05/03/2011 16:12

This happened to my parents in 1980. My dad started applying for jobs in towns with grammar schools. He found work in Bournemouth, we moved, and both my brother and I went to the grammars.

tazmintee · 05/03/2011 16:13

Id move

failing that I would move heaven and earth to pay for them to go to a decent school

MillyR · 05/03/2011 16:14

It depends how bad the school is, what you are prepared to make your child put up with, and what other options you have.

If I thought that my child was in danger at school I wouldn't send them there.

MrsVidic · 05/03/2011 16:14

Schools are not going to improve if good parents don't send their good children there. It seems like everyone likes diversity in theory but want to practice segregation. Maybe if people were not do judgemental about the school in the first place it's reputation wouldn't be so bad.

MillyR · 05/03/2011 16:16

MV, schools might not improve even if more good parents do send their children there.

usualsuspect · 05/03/2011 16:18

Many inner city comps are fantastic schools ..but I live in a fully comprehensive city so the diversity is much greater than grammar school areas ,thank goodness

alistron1 · 05/03/2011 16:36

Even in 'nice' schools there are issues. Drugs, bullying, fighting and that. I have 2 DD's at 2 different grammar schools and it's not all jolly hockey sticks.

I have a son who attends the local boys school (it was on panorama on monday) and yes there have been a few issues, and yes there are some difficult kids there but he's doing ok.

wirescrossedandburnt · 05/03/2011 16:45

I'm guessing your son has just received his secondary offer? Will you even be able to get a place at a private secondary at this stage? In my area, most of the private schools will be full and for many of them, the applicants will have taken an entrance exam. So even if you're prepared to get into debt for a private school, you might not be able to find one with a place.

I would move, if that's an option for you. I live in an area where gang violence is genuinely part of the youth culture and I would refuse to send my child to a local school. In our situation, my son was diagnosed with special needs anyway and was sent out of county, so we no longer had to worry about it.

However, now that places have been allocated, you wouldn't necessarily automatically get a place at a school even if you moved to the same street. The county would have a duty to find a school, but it could still be on the other side of the county. You would get a high place on the waiting list though, I think.

figcake · 05/03/2011 16:46

It is more difficult than ever to really pick out good schools. My DCs school is "outstanding" with the usual bunch of trophies and certificates draped around the head teacher's door - but it is crap, honestly. There are well-educated mc parents who refuse to see the bad for the purposes of preserving the status quo. They enjoy their little cliques, parties and sleepovers too much to face up to the realities of having five teachers (mainly temps) running the class in an average week and most of the 5 year olds being unable to read even basic graded books. We get the usual 'oh, they should be out playing at this age" from both sides which only serves to preserve the myth

crystalglasses · 05/03/2011 16:52

I'd move, or if that wasn't an option, send your dc to the school offered but put him down on a waiting list for the school of your choice as there is usually some movement between now and next September. If not and the school you send him is really dire, keep him/her on the waiting list as children will leave at some point, creating an extra place,. Of course you will need to manage this with your child as once he/she is settled in the schiool he/she will probably not want to move. The way round this is to make sure he/she understands from the outset that the move WILL TAKE PLACE once there is a suitable vacancy.

valiumredhead · 05/03/2011 16:58

We moved. Never looked back. Best decision we ever made.

Goblinchild · 05/03/2011 17:04

Moved.
I loved teaching in a very tough area, but I wasn't going to put my children through it.
Yes, gang violence was a way of life on a weekly basis, along with crippling poverty and drug abuse.

expatinscotland · 05/03/2011 17:38

If you can afford/go into debt for private school, why not just move?

iscream · 05/03/2011 17:40

I moved.

MumInBeds · 05/03/2011 17:41

Visit the schools and see for yourself what they are like. Try to get your child to the one that best fits your child's aptitudes. Get on the board of governors. Treat school as just part of your child's education, make sure it is well supplemented outside of school in whatever way you think best suits your family and child.

pranma · 05/03/2011 17:42

I'd move or pay if you can afford it.